Categories > Games > Kingdom Hearts
A Minor Snag
11 ReviewsWhat if Naminé was a little different?
Reviews
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A Minor Snag
(#) Wolfic 2006-03-04 08:15:36 PM
Oh my God that was hilarious!! That one of best KH:CoM I have ever read next to the other one you wrote (Linking the Chain). They are both the best ever. You have such a way with words. You should write more of these and more stories relating to Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memeories. (Also I never thought that Namine could control Sora, well, you do have great original ideas) -
A Minor Snag
(#) Giant_Brother 2006-03-05 10:06:55 AM
That was hilarious, simply hilarious. I have got to say, simply brilliant. -
A Minor Snag
(#) Rous 2006-04-18 04:27:58 AM
I came, I read, I comment. While the formatting on this is better than the other story, I cannot comment on the content. However, I do feel that it is lacking in substance. There is much dialogue, but little description. Perhaps more filler would help. Show us what is going on instead of telling us. There is one like that makes no sense:
"..." Not sure what that means.
At any rate, what writing is here is not bad, just could be more. -
A Minor Snag
(#) stephen 2006-06-16 04:08:53 PM
i thought it was funny when axel said"my eyes!get me bleach for my eyes!". Overall,it was really funny and ultra great! -
A Minor Snag
(#) facia 2007-04-12 12:27:19 PM
Um...a pretty funny idea, Naminé as a slash fanartist and the results. But your writing is a bit rough. Dialogue should really be done as "Hi," she said, with commas rather than periods and no capitalization unless it's a name. And it's definitely, not defiantly. It's nice the way you told the story through dialogue, but I think you could have distinguished personality a bit more...all of the characters are somewhat generic and interchangeable. They're not OOC or anything, just that their personalities don't really show through as well as I think you could do.