What if Gerard Way died? What would happen to the band? What would the fans do? What if you caused it?
I threw the phone to the passenger's seat and drove an inch forward. Everyday after I picked up Boyd from Daycare, I was stuck in traffic. The noisy cars honking and honking. Smog settling into the air and giving me migraine after migraine.
There were days when I was ready to throw the whole white-collar job out the window; burn down my cubical and run wild through the office with a gun.
Other days I was ready to crash my car into another idiot who ran a red light. But with my second son in the car, I thought otherwise.
My phone rang again and I reached for it. Sliding the blackberry into my hands I read the caller ID while moving another inch forward in my SUV. Lisa it read and i answered quickly.
"Hey sweetie," I mused, cheerful that someone other than my stubborn gay best friend had called.
"Ew mom, I'm on speaker with Peter."
/Peter/, the burley not all that smart football player my eldest child dated. Lisa was so fond of her 'Pete's' as she called him and would jump at any chance to get out my home and live with him. My only daughter I'd been able to birth and this is how she repays me.
"Sorry," I muttered putting on the cool mom tone, "what do you need?"
There was a long silence and I pulled up another Inch. By now I could see the traffic lights, it gave me what little optimism I had left. I could hear my daughter hold her breath on the other end and Boyd gave a screechy giggle to a car adjacent to mine. I sighed a long heavy sigh, one my mother always gave me.
"Money for what?" I mummbled.
Again her answer came short and I could hear a crash of something in the background. Peter had obviously tripped over something.
"Another concert, Lisa?" My voiced was in a parents whine, "thats the fifth one this week, what about your homework?"
She huffed on the other line, preparing for her rebuttal.
"Haven't you seen my grades mom. I'm passing with Honors. Dad would have let me go. You always do this. You never have any fun so thats why you bring me down with you. Kyle says you were always this great thing full of energy. All you do is work like a drone. Come home, cook something and go to bed. If you don't let me go to this concert, one of my Favorite BANDS I will jump off a bridge JUST LIKE DAD!" her voice had tipped and now there was sobbing.
Furious, that wasn't the word here.
But neither was crash.
And thats what I did as I started to yell back at my daughter. I crashed into a black civic.
My last words before impact and darkness,
"Listen to me young lady."
Bam. Just like that. Out of no where.
My seat belt choked me and my airbag punched my face. With in seconds I blacked out.
It wasn't for very long though, my eyes opened, I heard screams. Before I knew it I was out of my car, walking of course, walking out to see the other person.
It was horrible. Smoke and the smell of burnt rubber, the black civic was smashed. I couldn't see the driver but I saw everyone else with their cells phones.
"Call an Ambulance," I heard myself cry.
I rushed to the driver but he seemed knocked out. His face was bloody and his hair which now was a tangled raven color lay sprawled across his face. I reached out to touch him and my stomach dropped.
He was cold. There was no color in his skin. I couldn't breathe.
I turned to see an EMS taking a hold of my arm. He gripped tightly and pulled me from the scene. He tried to sit me down but the thoughts of my son suddenly came to me...I hadn't checked on him. I frantically jumped on him to try and get to Boyd. When I looked to my smash SUV I saw a yellow blanket covering his baby seat.
"No, no, no," I began, I was crying, I was breaking down.
He held me back while they cut my roof off to get to my son. An Ems pulled what looked harmlessly like my sleeping son. Again I pulled and pushed to get to Boyd.
"Let me see him," I cried in the EMS's shoulder, "Let me see him."
More sirens went of in the background and people were crowding the scene.
"He's alive, but he suffered severe head trauma from the crash," He held me at eye level, "Whip lash has broken his neck and he is bleeding internally."
"No," I whispered again.
Tears streaming from my face, everything seemed to go in slo-motion. They took my son on a stretcher and brought me to the Ambulance. As I climbed in, shaky and crying I turned to the EMS.
"What about the other guy," my voice so raw, "Is he gonna make it?"
The EMS looked at each other and the one who had held me stepped forward.
"He died on Impact...I'm sorry."
Boyd James Smith
Time of Death: 24:34
He was 4 years old.
My eldest Son and only daughter sat on a hospital bed with me, crying. I had a range of emotions, anger, self hatred. I felt so lost. First my husband , then my youngest.
My mind kept going to the man in the other Car. They wouldn't tell me anything about him. Our story hadn't reached the news, but it would tomorrow.
How could I have done this.
I ran a red light trying to clear the intersection. I hadn't noticed. I was yelling at my daughter on my blackberry.
The man I had killed today, was making a right turn, just a simple maneuver. In my angst to get home I ran a red light, like so many other idiots. Now guilt and ashame had settled, I promised myself to end it when the self pity had settled in.
Asher took my hand and gripped it tightly.
"It's okay mom," he soothed.
Was it? I couldn't think. Even though the cuts of my collision had been cleaned and cared for it couldn't hide what I'd done.
Cuts and bruises. That's all I got. At this point I'd rather be dead.
They let me go home to rest, but I lay in my bed. Boyd was on my mind, mixed with the face of the black civics's driver. Who was he? Was he loved? Did he have a family? what did he do? Did impact people?
I was awakened by my daughter; my watch read 3 pm. I couldn't believe I had actually gotten some sleep.
"Mom," her blue orbs carried tears, "I can't believe you."
She turned on the TV flicked it to MTV and ran out of the room in tears.
I sat up my legs to heavy to chase her, my body to full of grief.
"Once again our tragic story...," one voice called.
Some emotional music came on. I caught a few words of it. Never coming home Never coming home
"A Tradigy to anyone in the music scene. In reporting MTV news Lead Singer Gerard Arthur Way was killed in a Car Collision yesterday afternoon after a large SUV slammed into his rented Civic. Way was touring with his famous world renown band My Chemical Romance and was at their Vancouver stop when he decided to tour the beautiful city. The driver of the SUV seemed to be talking on a Cell Phone and in road rage to return home, she frantically pulled into the intersection as the light turn red. Way was killed upon impact while the driver who had her son in the car with her suffered only minor cuts and bruises. Her son died later in hospital while she sat at his side. M. Way was asked for a comment on the matter but refused Press intervention on the matter Quote "to unstable to even nod his head."...charges of manslaughter are pending."
The TV cut to a memorial in New Jersey.
"Black Roses and Red ones, Red ties and parade banners are being laid at a memorial sight, it is said that the band played one of their first shows there."
A girl with smudged make-up holding on to another who looked exactly like her cried her 15 minutes of fame.
"He hugged me, and I got to take a photo with him. He saved my life."
More and More people came on the screen. I cried so hard with each one. Asher rushed into the room.
"Don't mom," he cried pulling the remote from my hand a shutting it off, "Your horrible LISA!"
My daughter hates me. And so do millions of Fans all over the world.