Categories > Original > Drama0 Reviews
once upon a time there was a girl... she lived a hopeless life...
Everyone she met only seemed to mask it as if, trying to protect her from the truth that she already knew. At first, she played the clueless one, pretended to have no idea what was really going on. She figured it was easier to pretend. As time progressed however, she found it even harder to be herself, and eventually, she started to become someone else. It was way too easy to do that, and she mostly did it because it felt like, being herself was a crime a bad thing. Soon, she couldnt even remember who she was, only what she pretended.
Then, she met him.
He was just soo amazing in every way. Everytime she was around him, she started to realize who she really was, he freed her from her inner prison. It was not long at all before she fell in love with him like no other. He was real, he did not hide who he was and yet, at the same time, it was not at all apparent just how brilliant and deep he was until you scratched his exterior. When she looked into his eyes, she could see so much animosity and pain, and she knew those feelings. She knew them very well. He got to her on a higher level that no one ever had before, he made her feel as if for once, someone understood her. He even shared a lot of her so called "crazy" philosophy's that her friends made fun of her over and over again. But inevidably, none of that mattered. She knew.. that although he had her entire heart, that she would probably never come close to having even a portion of his in her possession.
Eventually, he moved away and though they still talked, and it didnt seem to matter that they were so far from each other, she just couldnt help but fall right back into her depression. She started to drink and go out to various parties with people she thought were her friends. Then, when they would betray her, it only got worse. She started to feel as if... she were in a sense.... non-existant.
She started to cut herself as if making her mental pain physical, she could somehow solve or escape the demons that she held so close.
But that, as well as the alcohol, also became an addiction.
Her skin became as broken and scarred as her spirit, but through it all, He was always her strongpoint. The one that she thought about all those times that she almost ended it, but could not. He even attempted to "save" her on occasion talking her out of doing something stupid. He cared, she knew he did, and it only made her smile to think that she really was in his heart in some way.
A year passed and she finally started to feel as if... she would be alright. She started to roll with a bunch of friends that were... for lack of a better word, awesome. They didnt judge her on her philosophy's, and they were always there for her when she needed someone to talk to. Her image of herself, started to matter not. She finally knew who she was, and most important, she stopped cutting.
There was however one thing that she held inside, the entire time. And eventually, it became consuming... eating her alive and dragging her back into the cycle that she so desperatly tried over and over to escape. ...................................................Lonliness.
Her lonliness became so bad, that it physically hurt. Friends, probably more worried than pretensive, opted to tell her that she should go on something like prozac to "cure" her depression... but really, what would that accomplish? if it DID in fact make her feel like she wasn't so lonely, it would only mask what she was feeling. It broke her heart to know that she could possibly never be with anyone ever, that she would never achieve any of her goals, and never have kids.
More than anything, she was afraid. She knew that there werent always good guys out there, and she was terrified that she would end up being one of those women that was to scared to leave a man who beat the shit out of her and her children. Thinking.. like mother like daughter.
The thing was though, she had sooo many great guy friends, perfect gentlemen, all the type that you would want to marry. But half of them, were gay or unsure if they were or not.. and the others? just not interested.
Finally, came the day of her destruction. She couldnt take any of it anymore, she had convinced herself, that there was nothing else to do... nothing left for her. So she got drunk, and went into her bathroom. She started to cut again, only deeper, careful not to make a mess... a bit woosy from the blood loss and alcohol, she stumbled out of the house to a lake. As she stood at the edge of the moving dock, she looked out past the water. She could see everything that she had ever done wrong.. every failure, heartbreak, all the stupid pointless parts of her existance. She closed her eyes, knowing that she had reached a point within herself that not even the love of her life could save her from. She muttered an apology to him, and everyone else. With tears falling down her face she fell. Letting the current consume her. She couldnt move.
The next morning, she was found along the shore... and all that her friends could say was that she finally looked peaceful.... happy.