She's no longer the girl he fell in love with.
She hadn't bothered to call or leave a note. It was if she didn't care enough to give me some sort of closure. But I guess she knew me better, because I was not about to let her go. No matter how long it took me, I would find her.
I left Mikey in the living room and locked myself in the bedroom. I pulled out a small box from under the bed and sat it infront of me. I had had it for awhile, in fact I had had it since the day after Sara had announced at her parents' Christmas party that she was pregnant.
I was so sure that it was mine, the only other thing I had been so sure of was that I would end up with her. So I went to the store and bought her baby supplies. I didn't know what I was doing, and I had a hell of a time with my girlfriend of the time on my arm.
I had forgotten about her. I couldn't understand what I ever saw in her, but that was just it, I didn't see anything. She was just a distraction, to keep myself from thinking about Sara. Those five years that we had been away from each other, my life spiraled in so many directions. The band finally got off the ground, my grandmother had died, I went to art school, drug and alcohol addiction, and Sara wasn't there for any of it. I had felt so abandoned, so unwanted and alone. I just needed someone to be with, and I had gone through a string of girlfriends, but none of them lasted for more than a couple of months at the most. By the time I was with Vanessa, I was fed up with trying to find someone to fill the void Sara had left. I just wanted someone to love me, and hopefully I would be able to love them back.
I met Vanessa at art school, and I enjoyed being in her presence. She wasn't exactly gorgeous, but she had some pretty features. We had remained friends after we left school, and we talked from time to time. I knew that she had a thing for me, but then I was dating some blonde girl named Emilia. But we met a couple of years later at an art show, and she was still interested, and I was once again single, so we got together.
The relationship was a success compared to the past ones, but it started to get a little too much for me, and I couldn't stop it. Before I knew it, she was staying at my place every night, and she had somehow gotten herself invited to visit my parents for Christmas, which turned out to be some sort of blessing because after she had met Sara, she seemed to try even harder to make herself what I wanted. It seems confusing as to why this was a good thing, but the answer was simple: it gave me a reason to end things with her, so that I could pursue Sara, who was fully back in my life.
Pulling myself back to present, I gathered the strength and pulled the lid off the green box. I felt my breaths shorten as I reached in and pulled out a small pair of baby booties with small sheep embroidered on them. Next I pulled out two baby outfits, one pink and the other blue. But for some reason, the hardest thing for me seemed to be seeing the diapers.
As I was putting the stuff back into the room, Mikey started banging on the door.
"Where's your computer?" he yelled.
"In the den, what's up?"
"You need to see something." He sounded excited and nervous at the same time, so I rushed out and met him in the living room where he was typing something into the search bar.
"What is it?"
"Just gimme a second," he replied impatiently. I took a seat next to him, but he moved the computer so I couldn't see the screen. I sighed and sat back, but that's when Mikey let out a small gasp.
"Holy shit," he whispered. "It really is her." He looked over his shoulder at me, and then pushed the computer towards me. I leaned forward and I was looking at a picture of three girls, all with different hair colors, but nothing seemed to jump out at me.
"What exactly am I looking at Mike? Other then girls who have no respect for themselves."
Mikey jabbed a finger at the screen, pointing to the girl on the right with the normal hair color of the bunch. I leaned closer and it was my turn to let out a gasp. I grabbed the sides of the screen and pulled it so close to my face that my nose was nearly touching it.
"There's no way-," but I knew it was. Her hair was longer, just past her chest, and it was jet black. She was wearing a red corset with black trim, her breasts pushed up higher then I knew where they naturally rested. On the bottom, she was wearing short black shorts, accompanied with fishnet stocking and five inch stiletto heals. I was staring, wide eyed and jaw hanging open, and read the names under the picture to make sure. Audrey Kitching, Raquel Reed, Sara Klassen.
"How'd you find this?" I managed to ask Mikey.
"I phoned my friend Craig in LA. His girlfriend works for that modeling agency," he motioned towards the computer. "They all know her name. She's been creating quite a stir since she arrived there. He-"
"What happened?" I interrupted. "This isn't her. She would never do this. It must be all his doing." I always referred to Ronnie as "him" because it was easier.
"There's more," Mikey said quietly. I could tell he did not want to be the bearer of bad news, and he was always fond of saying "Don't kill the messenger," but I had a feeling this might be an exception.
My hands rested uncomfortably on Audrey's waist as she swung her body this way and that. I tried to look like I was enjoying it, but inside I was screaming, waiting for it to all be over. She flung her shoulders back and I recognized this as my queue. I stood up, pushed her against the wall and started furiously kissing her. It felt awkward, and I knew it looked it too when the director yelled "Cut!"
He shook his head. "Take five everyone."
Thankfully I pulled myself away from her and retreated back to my dressing room, but Audrey caught up to me before I could make it there.
"What do you want already?" I was already irriated with having to do the music video with her, because she was an ex girlfriend. But to make it worse, she acted as if she was actually enjoying it all.
"Well we haven't really talked," she said.
"Yes we have."
"Well not about us! Ronnie, I know things ended badly, but I was different back then. I've changed now, I'm a better person."
"Audrey, I'm not interested. Besides, I'm already seeing someone else."
"Oh." She stepped back and sighed loudly. "That didn't take very long."
I snorted. "What are you talking about? It's been over half a year."
"Is she as pretty as me?"
"I'm not going to answer that."
"That must mean she isn't."
"Don't twist my words around."
"Well then answer me."
"Fine. If I had to, I would say she's gorgeous. Much prettier than you."
She looked as if she had been slapped in the face and turned red.
"I'm going to pretend like you didn't say that." She turned and walked away. I felt a little bad for saying it, but she seriously needed to realize that I didn't want her anymore.
I turned to my dressing room, but Max came around the corner.
"Director wants to talk to us about making some changes to the video. C'mon."
I crossed my fingers that he was thinking about changing Audrey, and thankfully he was.
"She's not working. It just looks weird, she doesn't fit in to the video as well as I had hoped," he explained to us. "I don't know what we're going to do. We've got no time to cast for someone else."
Max raised his hand. "I have a suggestion if I may?"
"Why don't we get one of the other girls from the agency to do it?"
"Oh! How about Raquel" piped up one of the make-up artists.
"Well," continued Max, looking over at me, and I clued into what he was doing. "I was actually thinking the newer one, Sara. I think she would fit into the music video the best." I thanked him by smiling, and he nodded back. Other then the band, and a few of my friends, no one knew we were dating. We were trying to keep it quiet, because the more people knew, the easier it would be for Gerard to come and find her. I had heard from a source that he had been snooping around.
"How soon can we get her in here?" the director asked.
"I'll call her right now," replied one of the reps for the agency. I looked around to see if Audrey was around for the whole decision to take her out of the video, but she wasn't. She was probably hiding away in her dressing room after what I had said to her.
About an hour later, Sara was just finishing up in make-up, and someone was finally breaking the news to Audrey. She stormed onto the set a few moments later, absoloutely livid with me.
"This was your doing wasn't it? I can't believe you would do such a thing!" she screamed.
"Audrey, calm down," said the director, coming towards us. "He had absolutely no part in this. I just don't think you're right for the part."
"Then why did you choose me?"
"We're sorry, and you'll get paid for the work you've already done, but we're going to have to ask you to leave the set."
She shot all of us a death glare before she stomped off. Sara came in a moment later, and I smiled. She was wearing her first costume, a sexy nurse outfit, and I felt my equipment twitch.
"Are we ready to start?" shouted the director.
"Absolutely," I said, still staring at Sara.