He went to bed and in the morning he woke up dead. BEWARE! Only read if you're ready for nonsense and cheap laughs! (^_^)
Category: Panic! At The Disco.
Genre: Humor, Crossover
Summary: He went to bed and in the morning he woke up dead.
Kay, pretty sure this is a one-shot. Hope you like it.
If you haven't read anything like this then let me explain.
Bold is the person that is talking.
-these things- are actions or emotions like sarcasm, confusion, etc. Anything outside of those two is talking.
Italics is usually music or something important. It’s the narrator if you will. (^_^)
ALL CAPS is usually something like POOF, ya know what I mean? Yeah.
Spencer:: HEY!! -points- THERE'S A PENCIL OVER THERE!
Me:: -cough- Um, yeah Spencer we really wanted to know that.
Spencer:: If you're calling me slow then I resent that. -crosses arms-
Me:: -puts on fake smile- Oh of course not Spencer! You know we love you!
Spencer:: YAY! -throws his hands in the air-
POOF. -a pogostick appears-
Spencer:: Oh cool! Can I use it? -sparkly puppy dog eyes-
Me:: -unenthusiastically- Go for it.
Spencer:: YAY!! -throws his arms in the air again before picking up the pogo stick-
End of example.
Well this is meant for laughs, please enjoy.
It doesn't need reviews, but they're nice to get. (^_^)
Also Mr. Wentz and others might make a guest appearance. Be looking for them. (^_^)d
Brendon:: -he yawns and gets out of bed- Mmmm. -he walks into the living room-
Jon:: AHH! BRENDON'S DEAD!
Ryan:: What the fuck, how can you tell? -confused-
Jon:: Because I said.
Spencer:: Brendon do you have a heartbeat?
Ryan:: -gets up and checks his pulse- Oh my god Jon's right for once! Brendon is dead.
Brendon:: Oo, I'm hungry. -tries to take a bite out of Ryan's arm-
Ryan:: Ah!! -runs to the other end of the room- BRENDON'S A ZOMBIE! RUN AWAYYYYY!
Spencer:: Wait!! We need to get him to a doctor!
POOF! -Pete Wentz appears-
Pete:: I’m a doctor. Brendon come here now! -points to a chair-
Brendon:: -obediently walks over and sits down- Pete, I need help.
Pete:: So I noticed. Are you hungry?
Pete:: You have glazed over eyes and you want flesh don’t you?
Brendon:: -thinks for a moment- yes.
Pete:: Your friend is a zombie.
Jon:: Nooooo!! He can’t be a zombie!! -breaks down crying-
Brendon:: -tries to take a bite out of Pete’s head-
Pete:: Ahh! Bad zombie! Bad! -waves a rolled up newspaper-
Brendon:: -whines and looks as if he’s been scolded-
Pete:: This is a bad case of zombification, we must go see the wizard. Come, off we go!
Ryan:: Wait! We have to pack a picnic!
Spencer:: YAY! Pack some cheese!
Jon:: And noodles.
Pete:: You might want some meat for your zombie buddy.
Ryan:: -packs a picnic basket- Okay who’s going to carry it?
Ryan:: Oh come on.
Ryan:: Fine we won’t have a picnic.
-the picnic basket poofs away in a cloud of blue smoke-
Jon:: NOOOO!! MY BASKET!
Pete:: You’ll live. Let’s go. Are you guys ready?
-they all nod-
Pete:: THEN OFF WE GO!! -points to the sky with the rolled up newspaper, they all poof away in a cloud of green smoke-
They reappeared in a thick wooded area. It was then that they realized Pete the doctor had gotten them lost and disappeared himself. After thirty minutes Brendon began to get very troublesome.
Brendon:: I’m hungry.
Jon:: We should have brought that picnic basket.
Spencer:: Who’s the wizard?
Spencer:: Dr. Pete said that we had to find the wizard.
Ryan:: Oh. I dunno. He totally deserted us.
Jon:: Hi mister tree! How are you today?
Tree:: I’m good Jon, how about you?
Jon:: Not so well, Brendon’s a zombie.
Tree:: That’s too bad.
Brendon:: I’m hungry. -talking to the tree-
Tree:: Well what do you want me to do about it?
Brendon:: Yumm tree. -starts eating the tree-
Tree:: AHHHHH! GET YOUR CRAZY FRIEND OFF ME!! -in pain-
Brendon:: -continues to eat the tree until there’s nothing left-
Jon:: NOOOOOO!! YOU ATE MY FRIEND!! -crying-
Brendon:: I’m still hungry.
Ryan:: We’ve gotta find this wizard dude.
Floating Cat:: You must go the long trek down the red brick road. -sees Brendon and hisses at him, growling-
Brendon:: -whimpers before hiding behind Ryan-
Floating Cat:: -regains composure- As I was saying. You must follow the red brick road. See the green bricks over there? -points- Follow those. Then when you get to the intersection follow the red. You MUST follow the red!! Orange and pink will lead you to destruction!! -disappears in a cloud of yellow smoke-
Brendon:: I’m still hungry. -tries to eat Ryan’s shoulder-
Ryan:: Eh, stoppit. -brushes him away before going towards the green brick road- So red brick road after green brick road?
Spencer:: YAY!! -throws his hands in the air- ROAD TRIP!
After thirty minutes of following the green brick road the band started to get tired and impatient.
Brendon:: I’m hungry dammit!
Jon:: Yes Brendon we all know this by now. Ugh. -leans against a random light pole-
Light Pole:: I do beg your pardon, but I would rather you not lean against me.
Jon:: Deal with it you stupid light pole.
Light Pole:: -bites Jon-
Jon:: OWW!! YOU BASTARD! -holding his arm, it was now bleeding. The light pole had taken out a chunk of skin.-
Spencer:: NOO! IT’S TASTED BLOOD! RUN!
Light Pole:: -makes a strange noise and grows bigger. It roars and tries to eat them.-
The band decides they don’t want to get eaten by a light pole, so they run away.
POOF. -Gerard Way appears-
Gerard:: YOU CAN’T HURT THEM! -points a magic wand at the Light Pole. It disappears in a cloud of black smoke.-
Ryan:: YAY! YOU SAVED US!
Brendon:: Can I eat you?
Gerard:: -looks at him funny- Um, no.
Brendon:: Damn. -tries to eat him anyways-
Spencer:: Bad zombie! Bad! -imitates Dr. Pete with the rolled up paper he magically obtained-
Brendon:: RAWR! -eats the newspaper-
Spencer:: Eep! -runs away-
Brendon:: -chases Spencer in circles- GIVE ME YOUR FLESH!!
Spencer:: HELP! -running in circles-
Gerard:: Shouldn’t we help him?
Brendon:: I’M HUNGRY GOD DAMN YOU PEOPLE!
Spencer:: THAT DOESN’T MEAN I’M SOME TYPE OF BUFFET!!
Brendon:: I DON’T CARE I WANT FLESH!
Gerard:: Don’t let him bite anyone. They will turn into a zombie. -disappears in a cloud of maroon smoke-
Ryan:: BRENDON STOP! We need our drummer!
Brendon:: But what about me? I’m the singer. -stops chasing Spencer-
Ryan:: Well you’re already a zombie. There’s nothing we can do, but Spencer’s not a zombie. So don’t bite him!
Spencer:: -hides behind Jon and Ryan- Don’t eat me!!
Brendon:: But I’m hungry!!
Ryan:: -a random bottle of sleeping pills appear- Here eat these. -throws the bottle at him-
Brendon:: yay! -takes the bottle and devours it, plastic and all-
After many minutes pass they find that the sleeping pills work on zombies. Brendon passed out on the road beneath him.
Ryan:: Okay so who wants to carry him?
-there were no answers-
After a while later they decided that all three of them were needed to carry him. Nearly an hour passed and they were still carrying a knocked out Brendon. They were also still on the green brick road.
Spencer:: I wish we had some type of donkey and cart to carry him.
POOF! -Patrick Stump appears-
Patrick:: Hello! I am Patrick! I will grant you wishes! -he was dressed in some type of fairy costume, complete with wand-
Spencer:: I wish what I said before!
Patrick:: One donkey and cart coming up! -waves his wand-
POOF! -a donkey and cart appear-
Jon:: Sweet! Put Brendon in it!
-The boys manage to dump Brendon the zombie into the cart-
After three hours they all get frustrated and tired. Patrick the fairy had been following them for further wish granting.
Spencer:: This is so boring!
Ryan:: Where’s this stupid road even at?
Jon:: I wish we were there already.
Patrick:: Your wish is my command! -waves his wand, they all poof away in a cloud of white smoke. They appear before the red brick road.-
Ryan:: Now why didn’t we think of that earlier?
Spencer:: Because we’re stupid.
Jon:: HEY! I resent that. -crosses his arms-
Ryan:: Where the hell are we even going?
Jon:: I don’t know.
Spencer:: I wish we knew where we were going.
Patrick:: Your wish is still my command! -waves his wand, they instantly gain the knowledge-
Spencer:: YAY!! WE’RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD!
Ryan:: THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF OZ!
Jon:: Oo, is it really the wizard of oz?!!
Ryan:: No, I just felt like saying it.
Jon:: Oh... -disappointed-
After many more hours they found that the red brick road was twice as long as the green brick road.
Ryan: Why do these roads have to be so long!?
Spencer:: I wish that the road would move so that we don’t have to.
Patrick:: Your wish is still my command! -waves his fairy wand yet again, the road beneath them starts moving acting like a conveyer belt.-
Jon:: -gains an idea- I wish I had a million dollars!
Patrick:: Sorry I can’t grant money wishes. That would be counterfeit.
Jon:: Aw man! Not cool!
Many more hours later.......
Brendon:: -starts to wake up- Mmm...I’m hungry still. -he sits up-
Ryan:: If you say you’re hungry one more time I will hurt you!
Brendon:: Who’s he? -points to the fairy Patrick-
Patrick:: I am a fairy named Patrick come to grant your wishes!
Brendon:: I wish they would feed me. -points to Ryan, Jon and Spencer-
Patrick:: I can’t grant those types of wishes either. I can’t force others to do what you want.
Brendon:: Then I’ll eat you!
Patrick:: You can’t.
Brendon:: I will!
Patrick:: -waves his wand, making Brendon turn into a toaster- You can’t. Now you make toast.
Spencer:: Oo! Toast! -puts a piece of bread in the toaster known as Brendon-
Brendon:: Hey!! Just cause I look like a toaster doesn’t mean I’m not me!
Spencer:: Shut up and make toast!!
Brendon:: First off I need to be plugged in and turned on.
Jon:: -starts rubbing the toaster known as Brendon-
Brendon:: What the fuck are you doing?!
Jon:: Trying to turn you on.
Brendon:: Ew!! Go away Jon! I didn’t mean like that!
Jon:: Patrick the fairy turn on Brendon! -points-
Patrick:: I don’t obey people unless it’s in wish form.
Spencer:: I WANT MY TOAST!
Jon:: Umm, I wish Patrick the fairy would turn on Brendon the toaster.
Patrick:: Your wish is um still my command. -waves his wand, the toaster known as Brendon was suddenly turned on-
Brendon:: eehh! It feels funny to make toast.
Spencer:: YAY! TOAST! -takes the piece of bread and eats it- Hehe, this isn’t bad toast. -munch munch munch-
Brendon:: I wish I wasn’t a damn toaster anymore!!
Patrick:: You get the point. -waves his wand and Brendon turns back into himself-
Brendon:: Okay yay! Now that that’s over, GIVE ME FLESH! -tries to tackle Spencer-
Spencer:: Hey! We already went through this! I’m not a buffet for zombies! -runs away, trying to finish his toast-
Ryan:: I wish Brendon wasn’t a zombie.
Patrick:: I can’t grant that type of wish either.
Jon:: Well then what good are you?!!
Patrick:: I grant other wishes jez! I have a rule book to follow thank you very much!
Spencer:: CAN WE FOCUS ON ME NOT BECOMING ZOMBIE FOOD?!!
Brendon:: -chasing Spencer in circles- GIVE ME FLESH!
Ryan:: Bad zombie!! -sprays him with a hose he magically obtained-
Brendon:: Eeekk!! -whines and hides behind a tree-
Spencer:: -hides behind Jon- You guys are mean. I keep nearly becoming part of Brendon’s diet and you just talk away ignoring it!
Jon:: Spencer shush it.
Ryan:: I wish Brendon had a leash that he can’t eat.
Patrick:: -sighs and waves his wand, Brendon now had a leash-
Brendon:: Eh! What’s this?
Ryan:: It’s called a leash. Now let’s go before the clowns get us.
Brendon:: EEP! CLOWNS! RUN! -starts running away-
Jon:: WAIT! BRENDON STAY ON THE RED BRICK ROAD! -chases after him-
Ryan:: -being pulled because of the leash- SLOW DOWN!
Spencer:: DON’T LEAVE ME! -runs after them-
Patrick:: -sighs and flies after him-
Even though they were on a moving ground they didn’t care. They continued to run, run, run towards the castle that had appeared in the distance.
Ryan:: What are you talking about? There’s no castle.
Yes there is.
Spencer:: -looks- Um, no there’s not.
Yes there is!
Jon:: -looks as well- I don’t see a castle.
If you don’t see that castle you must be high or blind!
Spencer:: Well I’m high so yeah. WHY ARE WE STILL RUNNING?!
Brendon:: BECAUSE THE CLOWNS ARE COMING! -runs faster-
What clowns, there have never been any clowns!
POOF. -evil clowns appear-
Brendon:: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! -runs faster-
Ryan:: I can’t run this fast! -tries to keep up-
Whoa wait! Why is the zombie afraid of the clowns when he can eat them?!!
Brendon:: -stops running- Ooo, I can?
Brendon:: YAY! -goes towards the clown army and starts eating most of them-
Ryan&Jon&Spencer:: -watching quite disgusted-
Okay back to my job. Hours lat—
Ryan:: -cuts the person off- Why more hours?! I’m sick of waiting! Make Brendon not a zombie!
Spencer:: seriously! Please!
Jon:: There’s a giant evil rabbit hopping towards us.
Brendon:: AHHH! BUNNY! -runs away-
Giant bunny? Now this is just stupid.
Giant Rabbit:: RAWR!! I’M COMING TO DESTROY ALL HUMANS!! DESTORYYYYYYYYY!!
Um, crazy rabbit more like.
Giant Rabbit:: DIIIEEE!! AIIIEE! -tries to stomp on the others-
Spencer:: AHHH!! I WISH THE RABBIT WAS GONE!!
Patrick:: My wand’s missing! I can’t find it! -searching for his wand. The blast from the rabbit’s foot made him drop it.-
Brendon:: Noooooooo!! WE’RE DEAD!
Jon:: You’re already dead!
Brendon:: Well if you’d let me bite you, you’d be dead too!
Jon:: I don’t want to be a zombie!
POOF. -Frank Iero appears-
Frank:: You could be a somewhat semi dead person!
Spencer:: How is that even possible?
Frank:: Well you’d be dead but not really but only the illusion of dead but in a way you’d be dead.
Jon:: That made no sense.
Frank:: Hey there’s a giant rabbit running away with Ryan.
Ryan:: YOU DIMWITS! HELP ME!
Frank:: Hm, maybe Patrick the fairy should save him.
Patrick:: I lost my wand.
Spencer:: You’re all of no help!
Brendon:: NO! We have to save the damsel in distress! -chases after the giant rabbit-
Ryan:: YA KNOW! I CAN STILL HEAR YOU!
Brendon:: Yes, I know.
Ryan:: FUCK YOU! YOU STUPID ZOMBIE!
Jon:: Hey look! The giant rabbits bringing us to the castle!
Spencer:: I WISH THE GIANT RABBIT WAS GONE!!
Patrick:: -had just found his wand- Your wish is still my command! I’m getting sick of saying that. -waves his wand, the rabbit disappears-
Ryan:: uh oh... -falls- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Brendon:: I shall catch you!
Ryan:: No! You’ll eat me! -still falling-
Spencer:: I can catch!
Ryan:: No you can’t! You always suck at catching!
Jon:: I’m too lazy.
Ryan:: EEP! DON’T LET ME DIE! -about to hit the ground-
Random Flying Coconut:: -appears, hitting Ryan-
Ryan:: OW! THAT HURT! -lands on a mattress- What was that for?!!
Random Flying Coconut:: MITZFRIG MALABU REO!! -disappears-
Spencer:: Can we get to the castle already?
Ryan:: -gets up- Please.
Jon:: I wish we were at the castle!!
Patrick:: Once again, your wish is still my command. -waves his wand, they all disappeared reappearing at the castle entrance-
Strange Voices:: Halt! Who goes there?
Spencer:: Spencer Smith, Ryan Ross, Jon Walker, Patrick Stump the fairy and Brendon Urie the Zombie! We come to seek the wizard!
Strange Voices:: You may enter! -the doors open-
Brendon:: YAY! I’m still hungry.
Ryan:: -picks up the leash- Don’t eat anything here. I don’t wanna pay for anything.
Brendon:: -whines- But!
Spencer:: But nothing! Otherwise we’ll have Patrick turn you back into a toaster!
POOF! -Marilyn Manson, Ville Valo and Davey Havok appear-
Marilyn:: Please, this way to seek what you find. -holds his arms out towards a corridor-
Davey:: Yes, follow to the end.
Ville:: Then you will find what you seek.
Marilyn:: I just said that.
Davey:: I felt like adding something.
Ville:: And you already said the other things.
Marilyn:: -shakes his head- Just go that way.
Ryan, Brendon, Patrick, Jon and Spencer go the way Marilyn told them.
Marilyn:: I hate it when you guys do that!
Davey:: Well I hate having to be YOUR servant!
Ville:: And I wanna say something too.
Marilyn:: Just go somewhere! -waves his hands-
Ville&Davey:: -give Marilyn a dirty look before disappearing-
Ahem, um, meanwhile with the boys.
POOF! -Pete Wentz appears again-
Pete:: So I see you finally made it.
Jon:: No thanks to you!
Pete:: I gave you a push in the right direction.
Spencer:: No you didn’t! A floating cat did!
Ryan:: This is a screwed up world. Now please! Cure Brendon!
Pete:: I told you, you have to see the wizard.
Ryan:: WHO’S THIS WIZARD?!!
Pete:: Go through that door. -points and then disappears in a cloud of pink/purple smoke-
Brendon:: I’m hungry.
Spencer:: Go eat some toast.
Brendon:: I wish I had some toast!
Patrick:: -sighs and waves his wand. Toast appears.-
Brendon:: YAY! Toast! -munches on some toast-
Ryan:: -sighs- Come on! -goes through the door-
POOF! -Jeffree Star and Billie Joe Armstrong appear-
Jon:: Eep! -hides behind Spencer-
Spencer:: Why are you hiding?
Billie:: Who do you seek?
Brendon:: The wizard!
Ryan:: So then we can cure my friend Brendon from being a Zombie.
Billie:: Patrick why are you floating?
Patrick:: Because the author made me a damn fairy.
Me:: But you make such a cute fairy!
Patrick:: I’m dressed in a pink frilly lacy fairy costume with a plastic star wand!!
Me:: Exactly, you’re a cute fairy!
Me:: Don’t you growl at me! I can make you a zombie you know!
Patrick:: A zombie is better than a fairy!
Me:: But you’d be a zombie FAIRY!
Patrick:: EEP! -hides-
KEEP ON TRACK DAMMIT!
Me&Patrick:: Sorry... -looked as if they were being scolded with their heads down-
Billie:: -pokes Brendon-
Brendon:: Ow what was that for?
Jeffree:: Nooo! The zombie is pregnant!
Spencer:: Poking causes pregnancy.
Brendon:: I’m a guy.
Brendon:: I can’t have a kid!
Jon:: Yes you can.
Brendon:: I can not!
Ryan:: This is slightly creepy.
Brendon:: I wish I wasn’t pregnant!
Patrick:: I can’t do that, it’s killing another life form.
Brendon:: WHAT GOOD ARE YOU?!
Patrick:: I’m sorry! -cries-
POOF. -Pete Wentz appears, yet again-
Pete:: How dare you make my Patrick cry! -hugs Patrick-
Ryan:: Where the hell do you keep coming from?!
Pete:: Your worst dreams. -disappears with Patrick in a cloud of brown smoke-
Brendon:: Where is this wizard?!! I don’t want to be pregnant or a zombie!
Jeffree:: Oh I am the wizard.
Brendon:: Cure me! Please!
Jeffree:: Only if you have Billie’s baby.
Brendon:: What the fuck?! NO!
Jeffree:: Then I will not cure you.
Billie:: -tries to poke Ryan and Spencer-
Ryan:: No! Don’t poke me! -runs away-
Spencer:: AHHH! -runs away-
Billie:: -laughing chasing both Ryan and Spencer in circles-
Jon:: I feel unloved. -sits down-
Brendon:: Ew you have AIDS now.
Jon:: What?! How do you know?!
Brendon:: Because you sat down on the ‘give me AIDS’ square. -points to the square underneath Jon’s butt-
Ryan:: Can you just have Billie’s baby so that you can not be a zombie? -running away from Billie still- Stop trying to poke me!
Brendon:: You can’t be serious!!
Spencer:: He is!!
Brendon:: -turns to Jeffree- C’mon I don’t wanna have a kid!
Jeffree:: -sighs- FIIIIIIINE. Billie stop it.
Billie:: Grr, fine. -stops chasing them and stands beside Jeffree-
Jeffree:: Brendon hold still.
Jon:: Wait can you cure me of AIDS?
Jeffree:: No that AIDS square stands for ‘Aid Idiots Down South’ so it makes no sense if you sit on it.
Jon:: YAY! I DON’T HAVE AIDS!
Billie:: -pokes him- Now you do.
Jeffree:: Stop that! Otherwise I’ll poke you!
Jeffree:: -sighs- I shall cure you of AIDS and him of pregnancy and Zombification.
Ryan&Spencer:: -watch silently-
Jeffree:: -waves his hands around Jon- Aaiee mamba roawe changu!
Jon:: -instantly cured of AIDS- YAY! -hops in circles-
Jeffree:: Now for the zombie. -waves his hands around Brendon- Zombie be gone!
Brendon:: -cured of his pregnancy but not Zombification-
Jeffree:: What?! This should have worked! Unless...
Ryan:: Are you kidding?! We came all the way here for nothing?!
Jeffree:: I’m sorry but your friend has reached the highest point of Zombification. It is irreversible.
Brendon:: -falls to his knees- Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Ryan:: It’s okay Brendon, we can work this out somehow.
Jon:: Hmm...are you sure there’s nothing you can do?
LATER ON IN LIFE.............
Ryan:: And so that’s why we are now Zombie! At The Disco instead of Panic! At The Disco.
Jon:: I actually like being a Zombie. It’s pretty fun.
Spencer:: Other than the fact that I’m always hungry dammit!
Brendon:: Can I have some toast?
Patrick:: -sighs and waves his wand boredly, toast appears-
Brendon:: YAY TOAST! -munches on a piece of toast-
What happened to Pete and the others you ask? Well, Pete ended up opening his own doctor’s office! The only problem is that he’s never around. Rumor has it he’s lost within a black hole somewhere between New Jersey and Chicago. Billie ended up getting poked, Jeffree refused to remove the baby so he’s due in a few months. Ville and Davey tied up Marilyn and are now operating the front gates on their own! Marilyn is somewhere in a closet though, hopefully well fed. Patrick has the unlucky job of granting the rest of Zombie! At The Disco’s stupid wishes. The rest is as they say, history.
A/N:: I hope you enjoyed ZOMBIE!! At that one place of Zombified Zombieness. Reviews aren't necessary, but they are well appreciated. I thank you for reading and hope it achieved its maximum potential of humor. (^_^)