A collection of drabbles written for iyfic_challenge, iyfic_contest, Isswkiwa, and my own amusement
My eyes land on my cursed hand, as they always do whenever I'm left with too much time to myself. The cloth and rosary seals, mocking me with their presence; a cruel reminder of what I'll never have - what I'll never be able to give - my own hand in wedded bliss. Always I must keep it hidden - as I must hide my turmoil everyday.
They don't understand. How could they? Their lives aren't measured in the void - an invisible force consuming them from the inside out. They don't live with the knowledge that each heartbeat could be their last, the weight of knowing that death is certain in the form of nothingness - not even a grave; nothing to remember me by but a crater to mark my untimely end.
And yet it's not my passing that worries me. I accepted my fate long ago when I watched my father consumed. No, my thoughts today are for someone far more important; my dear Sango. What will she do when I am gone? Who will be there to hold and comfort her, to chase away her demons in the cold, lonely nights; to make her smile with all the sunshine in her heart?
Stunned I stare at my cursed hand. When did my heart betray me? When did she become more than another woman to me; more than a comrade? When did her happiness, her smile, become vital to my own? When did I fall in love with her?
Selfishly I want to share this, to tell her how I feel, knowing she'd throw herself into my arms never thinking twice about the consequences. But I cannot allow it. My death would destroy her. I may never tell her out loud but I know; I'll love her until my dying day.