Jason Bourne travels to Las Vegas and encounters trolls, animagi, thestrals and an old friend.
(#) Terdwilicker 2008-01-29 01:22:46 PMYou rush, and you skip details, and it reads poorly because of this. Work on it before you write more unless you like your work to read like an outline rather than a story.
Author's responseI will keep your comments in mind. I assume that my readers will be familiar with the characters and events from both the HP Books and the Bourne films so I have not been providing much background when I refer to them. However, I will try to see that my original narrative and characters are adequately fleshed out.