'It was a paralyzing and blinding pain, physical, but at the same time not. '
Pain was to open his heart to someone, to let someone into his life, to let that someone know all his weaknesses and dark secrets, to trust them completely, just to be betrayed and left.
It was a paralyzing and blinding pain, physical, but at the same time not. It was nothing like his antics on stage which were simply a way to get his frustrations out and disguise it as a stage show done because it was expected of him.
To him pain wasn't about physical self-harm, it was about love.