It’s the closest to crack I’ll ever write. What happens when Tonberry’s play cupid? An FFVII Midsummer Night’s Dream. Or, well, this. Genesis/Reno, eventually.
“Oh, really. I could say the same about Fair and Gainsborough.” Genesis rankled.
“How do you figure? Heterosexuality is the definition of normal!” Angeal retorted, not liking criticism of his student that didn't come from him.
“Not from where I'm standing.” Genesis drawled, taking his turn and killing the monster.
“Don't start that garbage again.” Angeal growled, stalking away.
“Oh, I love these little guys!” Genesis changed the subject, reminding himself that Angeal could actually be killed. “They’re so cute.”
“And deadly.” Angeal rolled his eyes.
“Exactly! That makes them even cuter!” Genesis picked up his Tonberry and swung it around, cuddling it as it tried to wriggle out of his arms and whack him with its lantern, its chef’s knife too close to its own body to use. “How unusual.” Genesis paused, cocking his head. “Its cloak is blood red, I’ve never even heard of one like that before. How did you know my favorite color, little one?” He whispered, calming the creature before finally straightening and banishing it.
“Freak.” Angeal grumped, not turning around on principal. Genesis’ originally good-natured ribbing had turned an already bad mood sour in a hurry, and both of them were caught in the fallout.
“My, aren't you in a wonderful mood. Did Fair dump you, or has Sephiroth finally admitted he likes me more?” Genesis caught up in a bound, his smile showing more teeth than could possibly be healthy. Or, rather, than could possibly be healthy for Angeal.
“Zack will be starting second class training soon.” Angeal sighed. “I wish I was more certain he was ready. He’ll be the youngest ever besides myself, and he’s good, sure, but mako changes people, and his body hasn’t even finished changing naturally.” Angeal ran a hand through his hair distractedly. Genesis cocked his head.
“You know, I could help train him if you don’t feel you’re enough for the job.” There was a downright evil glint in Genesis’ eyes. Angeal shuddered.
“You’re not understanding what I’m saying. I’m upset because I don’t want him to die.” Angeal snapped. He did his best to glare his friend down, but he knew when Genesis had made up his mind about something, and Zack was the last thing he wanted Genesis taking on as a ‘project’.
“No, I understand. I just wanted to see your reaction.” The redhead chuckled, dancing out of reach and up the path from his friend. Angeal never broke stride, not even bothering to try to smack Genesis. Yet. That would come later, when Genesis wasn’t expecting it.
“Genesis.” His tone was a warning.
“Yes, friend.” Genesis spun to a stop, eyes still gleaming, a feral smile across his shapely lips.
“You never let go of ideas that easily. You always have to see things through to completion.”
“Not Always, that would be obsessive and silly.” Genesis put his hands up, shrugging. Angeal really hated being in a bad mood when he was alone with Genesis. It always brought out Genesis’ playful insanity, which was only a Sephiroth-fine hairsbreadth away from pryomaniacal insanity.
“Promise me you won’t blow him up, or I’m telling Reno about the boy in Junon…” Angeal continued plodding forward, letting his voice do all the work.
“Oh, honestly. Do you really think I would do that to your precious student? You love him even more than that Godforsaken sword! Look, I’m just going to give him a little test. You’re worrying over nothing -- like you always do with that boy. He’ll pass with shining colors and that damn cocky laugh of his and you can finally sleep again knowing that if he can take on Genesis he can take a little more mako. And Genesis will play nice with the pup. He promises.” The homicidally-jovial edge had been taken off Genesis’ voice, and he just sounded exasperated and moody, now. Which was normal for Genesis. Angeal could feel his shoulder’s relax, when he hadn’t realized they were tense.
“Thank you, friend.” He muttered, striding forward. Genesis fell into step at his side and they made it back in companionably silence. Now he remembered why he and Genesis were so close. Genesis was always exactly what he needed.
“So, always remember, if it’s cute and little, it’s probably deadly.” Genesis lectured, his coat sweeping behind him as he paced. Fair sat cross-legged, entranced. Genesis wondered, yet again, if the boy was sleeping with his eyes open. He knew the kid was smart, but he couldn’t help but think the only thing piercing about Fair’s eyes at the moment was the violet color. He decided to find out. “Here’s an example.” Genesis turned to face Fair and summoned the Tonberry he’d acquired in the woods.
Fair leapt up, cursing, but he’d only taken a few steps when his back hit the wall. The summon advanced slowly, so Fair relaxed, falling into a defensive stance. Genesis grinned. Fair hadn’t even seen the Chef’s Knife move.
“And, there you have it.” Angeal grinned down at Fair’s groaning, but otherwise unmoving, body. “Cute equals deadly.”
“Thanks for the object lesson, sir.” Fair griped, trying unsuccessfully to move his arm to grip his stomach. Genesis chuckled as he revived the boy.
Fair rose slowly, shaking his head. Genesis expected anger. Or annoyance. It had been a cheap trick for a petty reason. But then violet eyes opened and fell upon the redhead. Genesis took a step back, looking around, bewildered.
“Wow, um, Genesis, sir, you’re… forgive me for saying this but you’re beautiful!” Fair’s eyes were dilated and… dreamy. Genesis took another step back.
“Um, thank you, Fair. I think. I guess that’s enough for today, we can pick this up tomorrow.” Normally when someone made him this uncomfortable, he just blew them up. Unless they were Hojo, but Hojo was Hojo. And Fair was Angeal’s. And Angeal would be upset and grumbly and he’d promised he wouldn't blow Fair up. So, that left improvisation.
“No, please don’t go! I mean, I… I want you to stay… with me. Take me with you.” Zack Fair was… beseeching? Maybe even… lovelorn? Zack Fair was crushing… on Genesis. Genesis’ brain shut down, rebooted, then shut down again. Angeal was going to kill them both. And Genesis didn’t even want Fair! That little Gainsborough tramp Tseng was always pining for could have him!
“Um, kid, really, I…”
“You are as…” Fair began, dropping to one knee.
“NO!” Genesis roared. “Absolutely no poetry, or I will blow you up, do not test me on this!”
Blue eyes swelled with tears. The Tonberry snickered.
“You’re still here? You!” Genesis lunged for the little creature, wondering if that would be a more appropriate target to blow up. Then he noticed something he hadn’t before. The monster didn’t have a Chef’s Knife. Or rather, that wasn’t what it had used, despite having one. This particular summon had used an arrow, instead. “You.” Genesis smirked. The Tonberry cooed. “If someone kills you, all the madness stops. But until then… oh, my little darling. Adorable, deadly, darling!” Genesis picked up the Tonberry and cuddled it again. This time it didn’t fight him, but seemed to enjoy the attention “You were made for me, weren’t you?” He grinned.
Fair melted into a puddle of sighing goo behind him. Red eyes rolled while the lantern-bearing lizard clucked, nuzzling Genesis.
“All right, kid, if you love me, you’ll do as I say.” Genesis turned to Fair once more. Fair sat up, starry-eyed and ridiculously cute and little. He knew this would end poorly for him, but it would be oh so very worth it. “You are to go back to my room, here’s the key, and wait for me there. Just sit on the couch and wait. I’ll be by shortly. Do you think you can do that for me?” Genesis purred sweetly in Fair’s ear.
“I can do anything for you.” Fair nuzzled Genesis. Genesis decided he’d just enjoy the attention. Even up to the moment when Angeal and Sephiroth figured out a way to kill Genesis through trial and error.
“Great, kid, now run along. I’ll be right there.” Fair positively skipped off towards Genesis’ quarters. Genesis chuckled. This would be worth dying for.
“Hey, Angeal.” Genesis draped himself over his friend’s shoulder.
“Is he at least still breathing?” Angeal pleaded, turning large, blue eyes on Genesis. The old man had been practicing his puppy-dog stare. It still looked more creepy than anything, but at least it didn’t make Genesis shudder this time.
“Oh, better. He’s… why don’t you come and see.” Genesis’ leered, twirled his fingers in Angeal’s spikes, looking the weather-worn face up and down appraisingly. Angeal shuddered.
“What did you… who am I going to have to contact, his mother or his girl?” Angeal twitched as his spoke, looking torn between bolting, attacking Genesis, and whimpering.
“Oh, don’t be like that!” Genesis teased, grabbing Angeal’s arm and pulling him like a child pulled it’s mother toward a new pet. Angeal paled.
“I was hoping it would be his mother, you…”
“Why exactly are you having a one-sided tug-of-war with Angeal’s arm?” Sephiroth asked, gliding behind Genesis. Genesis flashed more teeth than could possibly be healthy for anyone.
“Well, he’s being stubborn when I’ve gone out of my way and done him a favor.” Genesis put his hands on his hips, tossing his hair exaggeratedly.
“And this is why I’ve always said it’s inadvisable to leave you two alone.” Sephiroth barely bit back a laugh, an easy grin spreading across his pale mouth. Genesis licked his lips, giddy with anticipation. Angeal snorted.
“He was going to show me how many pieces he left my protégé in while he gloated about not having blown the boy up. You’re welcome to come with us; if I have to kill him, I’d like you’re input on how.” Angeal grumped, still eyeing Genesis skeptically.
“Oh my. Fair splatter? That does sound like fun. Or, I mean, I’ll be happy to accompany you.” Sephiroth grinned wider, his eyes shining. Angeal shook his head, but Genesis batted his eyes at the General.
“Well then, sir, by all means. After all, who better to chaperone us than the great General himself?” Genesis gave a gallant bow before turning on his heal and striding towards his quarters. Sephiroth and Angeal followed with pursed lips and clipped steps.
“Genesis, sir, I’m afraid I couldn’t just sit! I… I had to try to capture your beauty. Please punish me if you’re displeased.” Fair groveled as soon as Genesis opened the door. Angeal and Sephiroth gaped.
“What. Exactly. Did you do. To my student.” Angeal growled, punctuating words with steps as he advanced on Genesis.
“Master Angeal!” Fair screeched, leaping between the two and stunning Angeal out of his perfect rage. “I can’t let you hurt him, he’s…”
“I don’t know what you mean.” Genesis feigned surprise before calling over Angeal’s shoulder. “Sephiroth, be a dear and close the door behind you.”
“What did you do?” Sephiroth menaced, not letting his narrowed eyes waiver from Fair even as he gently clicked the door shut behind him. It was more to lock himself in than anyone else out, and Genesis knew it.
“Oh. Just this.” Genesis grinned, summoning the Tonberry. Just out of Sephiroth’s line of vision, it meandered just out of around Fair, who was still prattling on about Genesis’ greatness. Angeal was too horrified by Fair to notice the little creature, his brain seeming to have shut down when his student took Genesis’ side over his.
Angeal fell, twitching, and Sephiroth came at Genesis with a roar, Masamune carefully positioned around Zack.
The Masamune hit the ground, singing for its master’s hand. Genesis moved deftly around the stupidly blinking Fair and rescued the little Tonberry from being crushed beneath the General’s weight, making a mental note that effects of a red-cloaked Tonberry included slower reaction time and slower mental processing. He set down his pet, patting it on the head, and then collected the Masamune, carefully placing it in the other room. This was definitely worth dying for.
Genesis hummed while he revived Angeal and Sephiroth.
“I know, I know, please, tell me of the wonders of the male form, oh straight ones. I always knew you’d be gay for me eventually.” Genesis grinned, listening to protestations of undying love.
“Hey, Genesis man, your room is like the only place we haven’t… holy fuck.” Reno’s cigarette fell from his mouth as he came through the previously locked door, uninvited.
Genesis was sprawled on his couch, looking downright orgasmic. His head was in Angeal’s lap and The SOLDIER was combing Genesis’ hair with his bare fingers, looking near ecstasy himself. Sephiroth, as in the General, was rubbing Genesis’ feet and… was that purring? It sounded rather like growling, but Reno guessed it was purring, because he’d seen that expression on a man’s face before, well, not that expression, but…
Reno looked down to try to derail his mental train and saw that SOLDIER whelp of Angeal’s, Fair, was it? He was reciting… well, Reno had never heard love poetry that bad, but the other two certainly seemed to know the lines, because they kept piping up with a few themselves, so Reno decided not to question it.
“I can, uh, come back, uh, yeah.” Reno’s cheeks were bright red, but most of the room seemed to be ignoring him. Genesis looked over at Reno lazily, a predatory smile nearly reaching the top of his earring.
“Oh, no rush. There’s always room for another beautiful man. Please stay, Reno.” Genesis summoned the Tonberry as he stretched.
“Oh, shit, I thought we’d gotten rid of the last of Scarlet’s little demons!” Reno yelped, readying to strike the monster with his mag rod. Then he looked up sharply at the other three men around Genesis and tensed to run. “When I kill it, they’ll revert to normal, you know.” Reno whispered.
“I figured as much. But, it will be a glorious bang to go out in, don’t you agree?” Genesis smiled, rolling over to throw Reno a wink. Reno shook his head.
“If you where that hard up for a boyfriend, why the hell didn’t you ask the only other gay guy in ShinRa?” Reno mumbled, rubbing the back of his head.
“Because, I wasn’t looking for a quick fuck, I wanted a boyfriend. But, I guess that’s not meant to be for the great Genesis. Who in their right mind isn’t too terrified of me even to give me a quick fuck?” He growled, petting Angeal. “Well, isn’t terrified of me and isn’t straight, anyway.” He amended, looking sad.
“Is that really what you think of me? That I’m only interested in a quick fuck?” Reno growled. The Tonberry was rocking back and forth, turned to the side like it was refereeing a tennis match.
“Well, you’ve the only established relationship I haven’t heard about from you is your own. I’d say that says something, only other gay guy in ShinRa.” Genesis shot back, eyes fluttering with frustration. He’d always been one who felt that other’s pain was cathartic to his own.
“That’s because I don’t have anyone either. I wanted stability, too, but no one wants a Turk for a boyfriend. And you… well, you’re a prissy little bitch, but you’re…” Reno fumbled, his face flushed, though he wasn’t sure if it was with anger or embarrassment.
“I’m available and gay and therefore a good enough start.” Genesis retorted, rolling to face Angeal’s lap and petting the man’s stomach.
“No, you’re so damn abrasive! You shut people out and push them away! You can’t see beyond the nose on your face! And… you’re so damn perfect. Perfectly broken” Reno finished bitterly, kicking the ground where his mag rod had fallen with a clatter.
Genesis rolled off the couch in a heap, catching Fair mid sentence so the boy only managed a yelp, then a whoop, which lead promptly to being pounced by an angry Angeal and a murderous Sephiroth. He disentangled himself deftly and slid towards Reno.
“You’re not serious… all this time…” Genesis blinked, scrambling to his feet. The Tonberry snickered.
“I always figured you were happy being with your perfect self, off in your own little world of hurt, you’d never bother with anyone who couldn’t measure up. On the practical level, I can’t date someone who can be used against me, or who I can’t trust to take care of himself, or who can’t live with me being a Turk. On a physical level, you’re the most Goddamn beautiful man I’ve ever seen, and there is an overabundance of beautiful men here. On an emotional level… You know what, damn you, I’m…” Reno tried to turn and storm out the door, but Genesis caught his arm and pulled him into a deep kiss he didn’t resist.
“On and emotional level, you’ve been watching me as long as I’ve been watching you. We’ve made ourselves to fit the other, but we kept distance in between. I say we stop doing that. Do you agree.” Genesis’ smile didn’t so much soften as shift. It wasn’t warm or fuzzy, well, at least not fuzzy as in cute, more like fuzzy as in it belonged on a tiger or something. But, it was dangerous in a different way from his usual smiles. Reno clutched his heart, smacking Genesis across the face, his hand entangling in Genesis’ hair roughly. Genesis only smiled wider.
“That’s for earlier. And for taking so damn long.”
Reno pulled Genesis’ face toward his own and Genesis let himself be kissed. For a little while.
“That was for making me stay.” He licked his lips, smirking himself.
“Well, that was wonderful. But, we still need to deal with them.” Genesis shook his head.
“You… have fun with that. I like breathing.” Reno paled, peeking around Genesis at the pile of legs and uniforms that were two of the greatest warriors to ever live and a SOLDIER Third Class. It was rather reminiscent of a cat fight. Reno shuddered.
“If I’m still breathing tonight, mind if I come over to your place? There won’t be much left of mine.” Genesis grinned. Reno shook his head, trying to hide his smirk.
“Sure. I’m good at kissing and making better.” Reno sneered, throwing a wink before skittering out the door.
Genesis turned with a sigh to the Tonberry.
“I’m really sorry, little guy, but…” but it was already gone. And judging from the sudden lack of movement and the shift in sound, Angeal, Sephiroth and Fair were back to normal.
“Um, I can explain?” Genesis offered with a weak grin and upraised arms.
“We will never speak of this.” Angeal growled, stalking passed his friend and out into the hall after straightening his cloths.
Sephiroth followed, glaring green daggers through Genesis on his way out.
“Later. Right now, I need a shower. And toothpaste.” He managed to make even that sound threatening. Damn he was good, Genesis had to admit.
“What… just…” Fair looked dazed, and rather the worse for wear, panting on Genesis’ floor.
“Let it go, kid. Just let it go.” Genesis sighed with an almost dreamy smile before slipping into his bedroom and shutting the door.