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Am I an angel?





I guess so.




Or at least - slightly lower then one.
I just hear peoples thought.
I can't help them.


Unless I let them see me.







But never -ever - do that.






They can hear me if I whisper.


Just beside them and if I don't touch them.



But even then, its only the softest breath of comfort.





My name is Creed.





I'm from purgatory.





I swore to pay for my sins and an angel must have heard me.







So they let me wander.






Not too far away, but near enough to Los Angeles so I could just see my house.


Its that one over there; the one beside the part.


The house with the blue walls and the pool.




Yeah.




That one.




I even saw my mother once.


I couldn't catch the words in her mind.


But she was sad.




So very, very sad.



I hope that wasn't my fault.

I didn't mean to hurt her.

I thought I was saving her.



But it didn't take as long as I hoped it would for them to find the suicide note.
She'd barely recovered from my sisters death.
An angel told me she went to heaven.
But I never saw her again.




Maybe she's the one with the silver grey wings that watches me some times.





She must have seen me then - what I had done.




The rope.






And then the cross.





Ah yes, the cross.
I'd almost forgotten.






I crucified myself to the cross above the Church a mile from our house.




Took me a month to pay someone enough to help me to climb.





Then slit my wrists.





And I thought it would've hurt more.





Someone told me once that I was lost.




Lost.







Lost?





No.



I knew exactly what I was doing.



I just forgot about everyone else.



I thought they wouldn't care.
Maybe most of them didn't.





But mother did.





And she cried so quietly in her mind.


I could hear the tears.





Feel them burning the agony of her loss inside her heart.





It hurt more then the razors.





But I can't help her. I can't save her.


That was the price.

That was my punishment.

Not even one last goodbye.





My name is Creed.





I'm Mercy from heaven.





I can't save anyones life; I'm not that kind of angel.


But I can hear you when you cry.


And I'm sorry I can't hold you.





But I'll pray for you.





-fin