Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts
Reviews
Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts
(#) LuLingQi 2008-02-27
seems like the third chapter was
cut off. other then that excellent like i said i like this pairing.Author's response
The first time I uploaded it it didn't take, but it's all there now, try again.Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts
(#) NacNud 2008-02-27
Really like story so far. Can't wait to see what you continue to do with it. Keep up the great work.Author's response
ThanksHarry Potter and the Marriage Contracts
(#) jabarber69 2008-02-27
ah the evil cliffie! great story! and I think it is quite original to not actually tell what had happen at the final battle or with the fallout!Author's response
- Original, yes. And it's annoying a lot of people.Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts
(#) JVTazz 2008-02-27
I agree, it seemed cut off at the end. I also like the pairing and am definately curious to see where else you take it :)Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts
(#) Cateagle 2008-02-27
That was a very interesting and informative chapter, though appropriately slow in action. I did appreciate the nibblets of back story you dropped and I'm looking forward to more.
The picnic was a nice touch, putting both of them on neutral ground and letting them get to know each other without other influences. I find it interesting that Daphne's early history left her almost as alone as Harry was and I can see how that point helps them connect with each other. I can see them definitely being friends after all this and the potential for something more to develop is there, though I don't expect it to be esp. rapid since both have lots of defenses they have to let the other through.
It's obvious that Harry understands and supports the difficult choices that Ron & Hermione have had to make; it's got to be difficult for him not to have them around, but he seems to be coping (wonder how Ron feels when he sees Neville in the role he used to have?). In the same circumstances, I think I'd respond much the same as Harry has here.
The second date sounds like it should be interesting. That's a nice mini-cliffie you left us with and I'm looking forward to seeing what pleasant surprise(s) Harry has in store for Daphne.
It sounds like the nickname another author's fanfic gave Ron works here for Ginny, the "Ginger whinger". Mehtinks that her reaction to Harry with Daphne should be quite colorful, indeed. As should, when it happens, her reaction to Harry's formal and oh-so-exquisitely polite turndown of the contract.
I suspect Harry, and Neville, have managed to score some major points with the girls at Hogwarts by making certain that their pictures are carefully returned without being scrutinized by anyone else. That's a level of politeness and concern not all guys that age would show.Author's response
- Originally I didn't intend to have a back story... But the readers get nasty if they don't get one...
- I've had the picnic in my head for a while and tried to use in in a couple of different fics, but it never worked.
- Harry's not happy with the Weasley situation, but he can live with it.
- The second date will be a unique experience for Daphne...
- Iwas going to call her 'the Broomstick' because everyone gets a ride, but that's me...
- Neville's happy with who he's got and not looking to commit suicide for thinking about other women... Harry's doing ok..Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts
(#) hawk426 2008-02-27
seems like a good story so far, but reading your latest notes at the end of chapter 3, you might want to rework some of the earlier parts that had hermione in them, because it really did seem like you were setting up to have Ron controlling Hermione through something (one of my first thoughts when reading her earlier segments was along the lines of "Oh, Ron's controlling Hermione with something. wonder what will happen to him..."). I'm fine with that not being the case, it's just that if someone doesn't read the Author's Notes, they're going to be quite confused unless what you mentioned is also mentioned in the story. As for how Voldy was killed and the falling out... well, you seem to have pretty much given a basic explanation to what's going on with the falling out... I personally don't think it needs to be expanded on very much unless some later plot point really needs it. As for Voldemort, I'd also say don't bother with an explanation for it either; rather I'd suggest it becomes a running gag that Harry and Neville have a bet every month or so where Harry tries to convince Albus that he killed Voldy in some outlandish way - i.e. time turner training, heir to __________ (& ________ & _________ & _______ & ________ &... you get the idea), non-human heritage (reinforced upon retelling with various illusions), etc.
So, yeah. other than the confusion over Ron and hermione that I mentioned above, seems like a good story. I look forward to the next chapter, especially after this cliffhanger you've left us with =)Author's response
- the 'Hermione's being controlled' camp became rather large based on her thoughts in the first chapter and continued when Ron coaxed her into making out instead of studying. Personally I've had second thoughts wondering how I've gotten to a place without being controlled... Of course if I don't do what I'm told...
- I like the running gag thing, and I'll see if I can work it into the story...Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts
(#) melferd 2008-02-27
**snorts in an unladylike manner***
Essence of Mertlap indeed!! Twins had it coming, loved watching..somehow I don't think this qualifies me for the Marquis de Sade news weekly.
I love seeing Harry be relaxed and having a life. You really nail him character-wise, and it's refreshing to see him just be a guy. Not to mention I laughed my ass off at Dumbledores' idiocy. Glad Snape went down in a blaze of arm clutching glory, thanks for that as well. Harry's revenge with the Malfoys and Dursleys makes ME want to marry him, contract notwithstanding, seeing as I'm taken. OK, maybe just see to it he gets well loved and well shagged, not in any special order.
Thanks for the more, big guy!Author's response
- Sure, but I bet you look at the boots and think "ooh, kicky!"
- Sex isn't going to happen too soon for Harry. At least as far as my outline shows... In fact in chapter 5 or 6 he turns it down... Ah the curse of being a nice guy.Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts
(#) melferd 2008-02-27
PS
Really glad there are no potions or control issues with Ron. Hermione is at least going to get her 'smart woman, astoundingly stupid choice bastard' out of her system young.
Ron Weasley shouldn't be terminal, just an embarrasing learning expirence.Author's response
- One of my regrets is that no woman ever made me her bad choice. I was always the friend who got all the graphic details of what she did with the bad choice. When I was in my teens, I suspected that that was my superpower.Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts
(#) DrT 2008-02-27
I like Hawk426's idea of the final battle, if it fits in with your plans. Glad to hear Hermione is just being the hormonal idiot she was in books 6 & 7. As for Ginny, may she wish for the treatment the twins got. Did she force Harry off the team, or was that Dumbles? Or just Harry's choice? I'll go back and look to see if you said anything about her, but I hope that Luna pops into play at some point, as a friend if nothing else
Excellent chapter
"T"Author's response
- So do I. I'm going to try to use it.
- Harry quit to avoid conflict. Since he decided that what he really enjoyed was the flying, he let the Broomstick have her way.
- Luna is indeed coming soon.Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts
(#) OdinMage 2008-02-27
Well, I'm really liking this story so far.... which is odd, since, despite loving pretty much all your other work, I avoided this for a while, thinking it was going to be a stupid forced marriage story like most of them are.... that aside, I don't think you should tell about the falling out... we can figure things out on our own, and leaving some mystery might help you later on in the story... so far my assumption has been Dumbles convincing Remus to do something he wouldn't have if he actually cared for Harry, and maybe suggesting something to molly and ginny that they would have done without the suggestion anyway....
keep writing, but don't forget your other stories... I love them too!Author's response
- I'd already done the 'there's a contract and you've gotta marry her' story. For this, the marriage contracts is nothing more than an excuse for Harry to talk to girls he normally wouldn't.
- What Remus did is far worse than your assumption.
- The muse for this one just won't shut the hell up. I'll have to work on it for a while so that it will let me work on other stories.
Sign up to review this story.