That's how I feel right now, but I still love that bastard! So I changed my number and my locks, but he somehow got my new number. Bet that stupid slut JJ gave it to Patrick and then he gave it to Pete. JJ really wasn't so bright sometimes and all Patrick had to do in order to get anything out of JJ was sing to her. Those two need to just make a move already. It was pissing me off how they would spend hours on the phone and together and never do anything. Two people who are completely head over for each other and too chicken shit to make a move. Damnit their drama made me dramatic. Well, not like my own drama doesn't have it's appeal though. Not.
Here I am on a Friday night exactly two weeks after the break up and I am listening to that stupid Fall Out Boy CD and crying. Well, it's not stupid and it's shitty that it makes me cry. I love this CD. And listening to the words of G.I.N.A.S.F.S. didn't help either. How on EARTH did Peter know how to word everything so perfectly? And he wrote this about me too. I know this because he told me so. That brillant bastard.
After about a half hour of crying I managed to dry my eyes when there was a knock on the door. I walked into the front hallway, wiped my red puffy eyes and looked through the peephole. Of course they were covering it with their hand. I opened the door until the chain gave resistance. And speak of the devil.
"What are you doing here Pete?" I said. The look on his face instantly turned into concern.
"Kristin, let me in. Why are you crying?" he said as he got closer to the door. Being the weak thing that I was right now I gently shut the door and unhooked the chain and opened the door to let him enter. I turned away and walked off into my living room and sat on the couch. Pete followed close behind and kneeled in front of me. I closed my eyes in order to not look at him and tears rolled down my cheeks. Pete brushed my tears away with his thumbs.
"Please don't cry, I hate seeing you like this," he whispered as he kissed my forehead.
"Well it's your fault," I said as my breath caught in my throat.
Pete looked down at the ground for a second and looked back up at me. "I never ever wanted to put you through this."
"But you're still with Ashlee, aren't you?"
Pete didn't say anything. He sat himself down on the couch next to me. "I told Ashlee about you."
He what? "You what?" I said with complete disbelief. "You told her? did she try to murder you?"
"No, she cried, screamed, slapped me, broke up with me then begged me to take her back until I told her how long you and I have been involved. Now she wants to take a break. I told her it's over."
I don't think I heard that last sentence correctly. "Um... excuse me? You said what now?"
"I told her it's over. Look Kristin, these last two weeks have been the hardest of my life. I never realized how much I've needed you until now." Pete leaned in close to me to kiss me. This is what I had wanted, but I couldn't risk getting my heart broken again.
"It's too late Pete," I said in a soft whisper and he stopped dead in his tracks and looked into my eyes. Damn those beautiful hazel eyes. I could see that look in his eyes, the one where his world crashes down around him. He was going to cry right in front of me and I couldn't handle that. "I think you should go Pete."
Pete let out a heavy sigh, stood up and walked out the door without looking back at me. I picked up my cell phone and called Patrick. The last time Pete was this upset he ended up in the hospital.
"Hello?" Patrick said in a chipper tone through the phone.
"Patrick hey," I sniffled.
"Kristin hey, what's wrong? Everything ok?" His chipper tone immediately turned to concern.
"Um, not really, but will you call Pete and make sure he's okay. We just had a little, well, heart to heart that didn't go so well. I'm worried he might do something stupid again."
"Yeah yeah, I'll leave now to go see him. So I take it you didn't take him back."
"Why should I? He's lied to me and lead me on for months. I can't trust him not to hurt me again." I became defensive. Why should I take my chances for the millionth time?
"I know Kristin, but just hear him out."
"So that he can feed me more bullshit? No thanks Patrick. Just make sure Pete doesn't do anything stupid okay?"
"Okay Kristin, and hang in there. Call me if you need anything." Patrick sighed. He hated how things were between Pete and I. We were best friends and Pete was like his brother. He was stuck in the middle.
"Thanks Pat, night," I hung up the phone and blew my nose. I can't keep living like this. I need to remove Peter from my life for good. I didn't want to do it, but it's for the best. I think I'm going to move.