Eight things she would have told him. (Cloud/Aeris)
- This is quite a sweet little story focussing on what Aeris might have been thinking in the Lifestream. It's quite an original idea.
I don't really mind the listing effect you used to write this short piece, but I am not sure it added anything to the story. It's just that some of the numbered points seem to be more than one thought even.
But the memories and fragments of Aeris' life and the messages she wants to send are quite lovely. I especially like the mentions of things that she holds back and where she lies.
I like that she is trying to nudge Cloud and Tifa together. I like the way you discuss the effects of the Lifestream on Aeris, how it is difficult for her to remain conscious of the present and how it is easier for Marlene to hear her because Marlene is young.
- I like this - it's a welcome new take on the subject. Aerith is always so... overly sweet and motherly in this kind of stories, and while yeah, that's part of her personality, I do think there's more to her than that. And most of it is along the lines of these things you wrote.
I'm not wild about the list-format, but that's just me being picky. I love the idea of Marlene being the messenger between her and Cloud, and the thought of Aerith lying or holding things back goes well with many things that happened in the game.
Overall, cool story - thanks much :)