sorry for lack of updates, i had writers block.
we made our way through the hustle and bustle that was the streets of new york city. We were nearing the studio, fingers intertwined, but i was still nervous. What if i made a total ass of myself? What if the band didn't like me? i wasn't too sure of what i would do.
"You know for becoming a producer you sure don't look too happy." I looked up to see pete giving a cheeky grin at his own note of sarcasm.
"No just nervous."
"Don't be. Pat's in there you can go right on in." he said while ushering the door for me.
"Thanks. Ryan are you coming?"
"Yeah I'll be there in a minute. I just need to speak to Pete."
"Alright. See you in a few."
"What do you need to talk to me about?" Pete asked, concerned.
"She pretty much has this job doesn't she?"
"Pretty much." Pete answered. I let out a sigh.
"Does that upset you?" Pete asked a bit irritated.
"No, no. its just that we just began going out and now we are gonna be away from each other working. You're gonna be here right?"
"Well you knew she wasn"t gonna go with you on this tour anyway. It's not good for you, brendon , or her."
"I know, I know. But you ARE gonna be here right?"
"Keep an eye on her for me?"
"What the fuck do you mean by that? You don't trust her do you?"
"No i trust her. I'd just feel more comfortable knowing that somebody was keeping an eye on her."
"I'm no spy Ryan, and i'm not gonna go sneaking around her trying to figure out whether she'll cheat on you or not."
"Fine. Just make sure she is safe." I huffed.
"I'd do that anyway, you know she's nothing less than a sister to me."
we made our way into the studio where Maddy was meeting the band. Patrick was introducing them.
"So this is Travie, Eric, Matt and Disashi."
"hey, its cool to finally meet you all.
The rest of the night went on with Maddy and the band discussing what kind of sound they wanted and when they figured out that she was aiden's sister they flipped. Aiden was one of the best songwriters and producers. They also told her that they were sorry about his death and she just smiled and told them that she had let it go. Finally, after all the minor details were worked out we took a cab back to the hotel.
"How are we going to find you an apartment and move all your stuff to new york within a week?" i asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Well you're not going to stay in the hotel for three monthes are you?"
"Of course not."
"well then we need to find you a place."
"I was just gonna stay with pete and travie."
"Come on those two are slobs. i love them but they are so messy."
"I don't mind really."
"You can't just stay in a house with two guys Maddy. I'm not comfortable with that."
"What do you mean by that?"
"I think you know what i mean."
"God damn it ryan! this is exactly what i meant. we can't date like this."
"What? Why not?"
"You don't trust me! You don't trust anyone! Just admit it!"
"That's not true."
"Ryan, i like you alot."
"What happened to love?"
"I dont know!"
"What do you mean you don't know you just said it this morning! And numerous other times before!"
"I know i did, but i dont think i've meant it. Don't get me wrong i really do like you alot Ryan but i just got out of a two year relationship and my head isn't in the right place. Now, you've already begun thinking that im going to cheat on you and you have no reason to believe that. Maybe we should just take things slow and back up a bit."
"You want to break up?"
"I wouldn't exactly call it that, we've only been going out for a week and it's not like i dont want to work on a relationship with you. I'm just saying we shouldn't label anything."
"You like one of the band members dont you?"
"What? no. i just think dating seriously is too big of a step right now."
"Whatever, you dont know what you want."
I stood up and walked out of the hotel room. I needed to clear my head.
She didn't love me?