Gerard and Frankie have a day out.
We talked more and then made a decision to go to Starbucks, maybe check out Forbidden Planet, get some DVD’s and come back the room. I was standing next to the door putting my coat on while Frankie waited by the door, fiddling with his cuffs in a manner likewise to an impatient six year old. I grinned to myself and pulled on gloves, walking out the door into the empty hallway. Frankie shut the door behind me and we both walked briskly to the elevator. The cold hit me the minute I walked out of the elevator. It wasn’t snowing just yet, but it was certainly bitey. I wrapped my arms around myself and smiled as Frankie pulled on his old Misfits gloves. He finished, and dropped his arms by his sides as we crossed the busy streets. I ignored the strong impulse to grab one and squeeze it tight… No Gerard, this is your day. Prove to Frankie you’re a good friend, don’t freak him out. I thought to myself as we approached the Starbucks, and walked inside. “Ah thank fuck!” Frankie said, inhaling deeply. I could relate. Whatever was going down, walking into a café and breathing in the warmth, the sweetness and strength of coffee beans, chocolate, bagels and all sorts of caffeine filled goodies to get the heart racing. We shared a smile and he motioned for me to sit. In a few minutes he returned with two lattes with “Iero” scrawled on the side. “I put your sugar in already.” Frankie said as I started to stand up. I sat back town and sipped the coffee, looking forward to the warmth I knew would possess me when I did. What I didn’t expect was watery, bitter, weak liquid to run down my throat leaving me just as empty as before. I wrinkled my nose. “Is your coffee bad?” I poked my tongue out in distaste, as he reached for it and took a sip. “It tastes fine” He said, shrugging. I took his and sipped, and it was exactly the same. Frankie smiled slightly at my reaction. “I guess maybe it’s just one of those days…” I said. “Haha I guess. Well, should we go on?” I nodded as we stood up and left the store, back into the blistering cold. I took one last inhale of the coffee shop. Why did it smell better than it tasted? Frankie sipped his as we walked along the crowded streets, towards Forbidden Planet. However, when we got there, it was shut. “Aww, fuck.” I said. I hadn’t been to a comic store in ages. Frankie shrugged again and as we turned around to walk to the nearest Blockbuster. And that’s when it hit me. It hit me like a sack of fucking bricks. It was all fine until I got the craving. The craving for the liquid sliding down my throat, for the burn afterwards. The craving for the acidic taste and crunch of the pills. The craving for the small pinch that would have me going in seconds. I shook my head and swallowed. I thought I’d be fine. I had to be, even if just for today. I looked at Frank, who hadn’t noticed anything, and smiled. He smiled back and then pointed to something. Oh, the store. It was right across the street. We walked across, me completely oblivious to traffic. Millions of thoughts flew through my head. Fuck, I want a beer. Gosh, Frankie looks cute today, doesn’t he? WATCH OUT, TAXI! Want some fucking Xanax, don’t you, you little bitch. Jesus, Fuckface, stop staring. He hates you enough. These thoughts were broken by his voice. “So, shall we get Revenge of The Nerds? I haven’t seen it in ages, and yeah.” I nodded “Yeah, cool. I’ll go out and get a smoke, yeah?” Frankie nodded suspiciously. “Well, I’ll pick then. You get one. Any preferences?” I put my fingers to my temples, just wanting to leave, and said “Er yeah get me… I dunno, surprise me.” The store was swimming around, I couldn’t see straight. I rushed out and to a bottle shop I noticed on the way. I picked up a bottle of tequila with shaking hands and paid nervously, looking around. Once I’d got it I walked around the corner with it, unscrewing the lid and lifting it to my lips. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a few dusty pills. They’d have to do. I pushed them through my lips and swallowed, along with the alcohol. I instantly felt better. Calmer. I smiled, sipped again, dropped the bottle on the ground, and walked away when it smashed. I made my way back to the store, where Frank was just paying, and politely saying no when the cashier asked if he was a member. “Hey man, you alright? You looked pretty fucked up before…” He said when he saw me, trying to disguise his obvious concern with casualness. “I’m ok Frankie.” I said. He smiled warmly and grabbed the bag of DVDs, and we walked back to our hotel, chatting happily, him seeming not to notice my sudden energy boost. When we got back we room serviced for tasty snacks, and positioned ourselves on the couch under blankets, with the remotes. The snacks arrived just as Frankie pressed play on the menu of the movie he chose for me- It. I thanked the attendant and sat down next to him as the movie started. We dug into the ice cream, chips and lollies, and got right into the movie. I left 3 times, disappearing to the bathroom where I had a small bottle of Bacardi hidden to swig deeply. I felt guilty as fuck but I figured it was what I needed to be how Frankie wanted me. Confident, charming, charismatic Gerard Way. Not pathetic, depressed, quiet, stuttering imbecile Gerard Way. I took another pill while Frankie was going to the bathroom, and as the last move rolled by along with 3am, I was a little bit tipsy. Frankie came back and said softly “Well, we have no more movies Gee. What do you wanna do?” I shrugged as Frankie moved closer and whispered “I’m not tired at all….”
So is anyone actually reading this?
Teehee. R&R please.