"Hey Kiley," Joe said as he opened his front door to let me in. "So Patrick told me that you guys had a lengthy talk last night." He walked down the stairs to his TV and I followed with Succah at my heels. I picked up the puppy and sat on the couch, rubbing behind her ears.
"I have never been so fucking torn in my life. I mean, I know things with Gabe and I have progressed so fast, but you see how he treats me. I've never been treated this well before in my entire life, except by you, but you're my brother. It doesn't count as a comparison in this situation."
"Well I'd fucking hope not," he said smiling and changing the channel. He stopped it on some cartoon that I didn't know.
"Anyways..." I rolled my eyes at him and continued my dramatic story. "Pete was sitting at my place last night waiting for me. He was telling me things like he fucked up and he'd blown his chance to be with me forever and some other things. It honestly broke my heart, but the thought of leaving Gabe breaks my heart too."
"Well what would make you happy?" Joe was smarter than he looks. I knew that, but you'd never think him capable of this serious of a conversation.
"If someone would make my decision for me, then I could point the blame for hurt feelings on them," I pulled my hood over my head to hide my face and Succah pranced off somewhere.
"Well that isn't going to happen, so you need to figure things out." I hated it when Joe was right. He fucking lucky he's never gone through this.
I laid on Joe's couch and watched TV with him until Marie arrived a few hours later. They were going out to dinner. Joe gave her a run down of my problem before he ran upstairs to change.
"Marie, will you decide for me?" I looked over at her. I was laying flat on my back on the couch like I had been for about two hours.
"No! Kiley, you know I can't do that. We'll make this easy. Who is better in bed?" She laughed and so did I.
"Well, I've had lots of sex with Gabe and sex with Pete only once. I can't judge it based off that."
"Who's bigger," she said as her eyes gleamed. I knew that this question was purely for her own entertainment and my bragging rights.
"You're so trashy!" I threw a pillow at her laughing.
"But seriously, I gotta know!" She whispered as we heard Joe's footsteps at the top of the stairs.
"Gabe." I said with a big smile. Joe walked in and took one look at our childish grins.
"What were you girls talking about?" He eyed us suspiciously and Marie giggled.
"How you look like a fucking caveman." I turned my head towards the TV and he shrugged it off.
I left Joe's when he and Marie did. They invited me to dinner, but I decided to pass. I wanted to go home and write to get my mind off my oh so dramatic love life. Lady sat in my lap as I typed on the amazing laptop that Pete had given me. I had tried to give it back once in the past, but Pete refused to take it. I even tried leaving it at his place and he gave it to Joe to give to me. I was reading over my latest chapter to edit and refine when and IM popped up on my screen.
clandestinepete: hey :)
clandestinepete: are you writing
clandestinepete: need a break?
ktrohwoman: what did you have in mind
clandestinepete: dinner? in a public place, no worries ;)
ktrohwoman: i guess, but you funny stuff
clandestinepete: deal pick you up in 20
FUCK! I needed to get ready. I threw on a pair of skinny jeans, off the shoulder tee and some converse. My hair was a mess, but whatever. I spritzed it with some spray gel and made it look like the wavyness was on purpose. Pete knocked on my door within a few minutes and I grabbed my jacket and purse.
"Hey," I shut the door and locked it behind me. Pete did look really good. Damn my feelings. This was a horrible idea huh?
"You look beautiful Kiley," he said sincerely. I smiled and he lead the way to his car. He ended up taking me to some regular old restaurant. We sat on opposite sides of the table and he didn't try any funny stuff. We talked about things other than our situation and Gabe. We were eating when my phone rang. It was Gabe. I answered it and walked to the bathroom at the restaurant. I felt like I was cheating.
"Hey Kiley, what are you doing?"
"I'm um, eating out with a friend. What's up?" God I was a horrible liar.
"I just wanted to see you. Call me when you get home okay?" He sounded slightly disappointed.
"Okay, bye." I said and returned to the table.
"Gabe?" Pete said, never looking up from his plate as he stuffed his face. I mumbled a yes and we continued eating. After dinner he walked me to my door.
"Look Kiley, I really really love you and care about you. Whatever choice you make will make me happy as long as your happy." I would have melted on the spot if Gabe wasn't standing but 5 feet behind Pete. Pete noticed I was looking over his shoulder and turned around. Gabe looked so angry.
"What the fuck?" He asked Pete. I had never seen Gabe mad and I was a little nervous.
"Gabe look, it's how I feel and I didn't want to come between you guys, but I can't help it." Pete was pleading for his friendship. I wanted to run inside and lock the door, but I was frozen in place.
"Are you guys sleeping together?" Gabe looked at me and then Pete.
"NO!" I said, now angry. So he thinks that I would cheat on him with his friend?
"Gabe no, don't be mad at her okay, be mad at me. I'm the one pursuing her, not her pursuing me."
I could tell that Gabe wanted nothing more than to tear Pete apart. Pete just said bye and left. Gabe looked up at me and I turned to unlock my door.
"Do you love me Kiley?" Gabe asked me in a soft tone. He leaned up against the wall next to me and I looked up into his eyes.
"Yes," I said.
"Do you love Pete?" He asked. Damnit, how did I know this was coming?
I took a deep breath before answering. "Yes," I said and my voice trembled a little bit. I didn't want to lose Gabe. He closed his eyes as if to hold back the tears. God it hurt me so bad to see him this way. I reached down and took his hand in mine, lacing our fingers. He opened his eyes and looked deeply into mine. What I had said just broke his heart to pieces and I could tell as a tear slid down his cheek. I leaned up and kissed him tenderly and he returned the kiss, pulling me closer. He pulled away and hugged me tightly.
"Let's go inside," I said softly and Gabe pulled himself from the hug as I led him inside. We walked into the bedroom and got under the covers together. I wish he had never heard what Pete said because it was tearing him apart more than it probably was me. The woman he was engaged to loved him and his friend. Fucking love triangles, no one wins.
Gabe stayed in bed with me all night and didn't say one word, just held me close. He was obviously afraid of losing me, and I was afraid to lose him. I didn't see Pete for about two weeks and he didn't bother to call. Joe and Patrick would mention him from time to time, but never told me anything about how he was handling the situation. Gabe couldn't stand to hear his name and became mad if he was brought up in conversation. I hated how their friendship was torn apart because of me. Gabe and I were hanging out at Joe's when Pete came walking in and stopped when he and Gabe made eye contact.
"Gabe wait," Pete said and Gabe pushed past him, walking towards the door. "Gabe seriously, we need to talk."
"About what Pete? How you fucking betrayed my trust and made moves on my fiancee?" I just stayed put and Marie, Joe and I exchanged uncomfortable glances.
"Just hit me Gabe, I can see it in your eyes that you want to."
"I'm not going to hit you Pete," Gabe said and tried to go out the door. Pete stood in front of hit.
"Hit me, come on. Do whatever you want, I don't want to lose you as a friend." Pete pleaded.
I guess Gabe had enough of Pete because he hit him, and pretty hard too. We all ran over there. Pete's lip was busted up and slightly bleeding and Gabe shook his now red hand.
"What the fuck Gabe?" I asked and he glared."
"He was fucking begging for it!" He pointed to Pete, who had Marie washing his wound.
"Is this how it's going to be everytime you see him? I chose you didn't I? He wants us to be happy together. He is my brother's best friend and your boss. You'll have to get over it sometime Gabe. I'm fucking tired of this!" I screamed and walked out the door. Gabe followed me.
"Kiley baby, please wait." He said and grabbed my arms to stop me. "Don't go, I'm sorry. Please, I'll get over it, I just need time."
"Call me when you have because I don't want to be in this drama anymore. I'm constantly stressed out Gabe. I feel like you don't trust me at all." And he didn't say anything. That means that he didn't trust me. "I'm gonna go," I said and got into my car and drove home. I cried the whole way there. Was this a breakup? I don't know if I wanted to do it, but I think I did. I'm still wearing the ring. I think I'll take a few days to myself to evaluate the situation. I won't talk to anyone or do anything but figure things out. My phone was already ringing and it was Gabe. I hit the ignore button about 5 more times on Gabe, Pete, Joe and Patrick. I just wanted to be left alone.