This was the most fun chapter yet.
Five Letter Word For Bad Ass
“You could have called me down, you know” he said, knowing full well she never in a million years would have. “I would have gotten it for you.” He smirked at her.
“Fuck you” she muttered whilst sitting up and rubbing the elbow she banged on the sink on her way down.
“Such language” he mocked.
“You’re one to talk” she spit back. Frank, who had long ago hopped straight up from being crash-landed on, extended a hand to Egan. She grabbed and Frank heaved and she was up, all in one swift motion. She didn’t let go of his hand, not right away. It was warm and friendly and very nice to hold. He looked down at their hands and smiled and swung them a little. He seemed to exude happy bouncy five-year-oldness.
“Yeah man?” this Frank guy said, snapping his head up and dropping Egan’s hand.
“What’re you doing here man?”
“I’ve taken up burglary as a hobby. Your house looked like a good mark. No idea you lived here man, sorry.” He looked at Gerard incredulously for a moment, then said “Why do you think I’m here? I came to see you Gerard.” They looked at each other for a few seconds and then, would wonders never cease, each started across the room at the exact same time and met in the middle, hugging and clapping each other on the back. This continued for some time. As it was beginning to move into the realm of the painfully awkward for Egan, she searched for something to do to make them stop. Ahah. The metal stool was still by the sink.
She felt the vibrations run through her feet and up her calves. Both men broke apart abruptly and whirled to stare at Egan who, standing right next to the chair, now on its side and rocking slightly to and fro, was the epitome of guilt.
“You have no idea how fast that got old.” Was all she said. Frank, God bless his soul, started to laugh. Gerard death-stared at the side of her head, which was the most he would get what with his purposely putting the coffee out of her reach and the fact that his death stare was very menacing. No way was she looking him in the eye.
From out of nowhere, something low to the ground and very strong rushed her and suddenly she was swept up, her feet leaving the ground for the second time in less than five minutes. “FRANK!” was all she could manage between gasps and giggles as he twirled her around. He had her around the middle, and she leaned back slightly, reveling in the centrifugal force. When he finally put her down, they were both out of breath and leaning over, hands on knees, she looked up at him and panted out “What—“ wheeze”—the hell—“ wheeze” was that?”
“I thought you felt left out.” He grinned at her and she grinned back. Frank was someone she could get along with as easy as breathing.
“Touching” they heard Gerard say dryly from another metal stool where he had sat down. “Frank, I was under the impression you came to see me. Any particular reason?”
“I need a reason?” Frank asked. He seemed a little hurt. “I haven’t heard from you in months. I know you wanted, um, space—“ here his eyes darted to Egan, ”I just wanted to make sure you were still alive and bitching.” He tried a winning smile. It didn’t have the effect he had hoped for.
“Did you warn them to stay away because of me?” Egan asked, not angrily, just curious. Gerard heaved a sigh at Frank and gave him a look before turning to Egan and simply replying “Yes.”
“Whatever for?” That Gerard asked his friends and family not to come around because of her seemed absurd. She was actually beginning to grow angry at him for it; guests would have broken up the endless monotony!
“Just in case. Temptation manifests itself in many forms. I thought for your first few weeks, you might want to be alone.”
“Weeks? Gerard, I’ve been here for more than a month and a half! You could have at least asked me if I wanted visitors barred from the house!”
“Why does it matter so much? If memory serves, you were in a perpetually bad mood the entire first two weeks you were here. You weren’t fit for company”
“All I had for company was you! And all you would do was smile nicely and tell me I could have anything I wanted and refuse to show any type of emotion but detached politeness, even when you knew I was screwing with you! I can’t even believe you! Jesus Gerard! Just, just…Jesus!”
“You’re a drug addict fresh out of rehab! What the hell am I supposed to do? You never said anything to me about it! If you wanted to interact, you could have done something besides scowl as hard as you could and get huffy when I asked for the milk in the morning! How was I—“
“By thinking like a human being, that’s how! Wouldn’t you have gotten—“
“NO! Because I would have said something long before—“
“Bullcrap. You’re too polite to—“
“I’m was only being polite because I’m living with a—“
“So it’s a sexist thing?!?! If I were a dude, you would have walked around—“
“No, Egan, just…no. I would have worn clothes even if you were a guy. Because I have some vestiges of common decency and—“
“Decency would have been asking my preference on whether or not I wanted—“
“I am sorry, okay? I should have—“
“Damn straight you should have asked—“
“I said I was sorry! From now on we can flood the house with—“
“Well it’s not like it matters anyway. I don’t know anyone to—“
“Then why are you so—“
“Just BECAUSE! I can be mad if I want too! I am, after all, a—“
“Who’s being sexist now? You are such a—“
“Oh, don’t even, I am not the hypocrite here, you are the—“
“How am I the hypocrite? All I’ve ever done is—“
“That’s not the point, the point is that you didn’t ASK ME IF I WANTED GUESTS!”
By this time both were yelling, and both of their pale faces were flushed bright red. Egan was breathing like she’d run a race, and Gerard’s forehead was shiny with sweat. Briefly the words If looks could kill flashed across Frank’s brain.
“So…How did you guys even know what was going on? Because I gotta tell you, I got lost after—“
“Shut up Frank.” Gerard said. He said it quietly, but there was definite menace in his voice. Frank shrugged his shoulders and decided to make himself some coffee. Dammit, the coffee was still up in that cabinet. Frank, having learned from Egan’s first attempt, decided to hop up on the counter and inch his way around to the cabinet above the sink. This method worked out well, and within minutes the kitchen was flooded with the smell of brewing caffeination. The scent had a soothing effect on both Gerard and Egan, and both came and sulkily sat with Frank for an unofficial conciliatory cup. After a sufficient amount of time for each to down at least a cup and a half, Gerard voiced something he’d been considering very carefully. “It’s not good that you’re bored. And you’re right, it’s not good that you have to stay inside here with no visitors. I should have asked what you preferred.” He paused. Admitting he was wrong was a bit harder than anticipated. “So I think we should go out.”
“Been there, done that Gee. I love you, but not like that man.” Frank giggled in that weird high pitched way of his and Egan laughed into her cup, but Gerard glowered. At least until Egan tried to take another sip of her coffee and choked because she was still giggling. Then he almost fell out of his chair. It was Egan’s turn to pout. “It ain’t funny.”
“Sure it is.” Gerard smiled at her. The smile wasn’t entirely unpleasant. She decided to be forgiving. “What was it you were saying Gerard honey?” She batted her eyelashes, her voice dripping with fake sweetness.
“I was thinking we should go out and do something sometime. You and I and Frank if he wants to come—“ here Frank nodded his head vigorously”--and maybe the other guys too. You could meet my family if you wanted.” Egan was giving him a weird look, and it was making him uncomfortable. “I mean, it’s a thought.” He muttered.
“You’d introduce me to your family? I’m not exactly the kind of girl you take home to mom.” Realizing the implications of what she had just said, Egan quickly back pedaled. “Not in a dating way, no! I, um, I meant, just…Moms, even yours, might not like me. I mean, look at me. Look at what I’ve done. I’m not a mother’s dream.”
“Ah, don’t worry about it. You haven’t done anything I haven’t done in some form or another. I’ll admit, I never did shoot up, but that’s ‘cause I’m scared of needles. I inhaled more than my share of shit, though. Popped enough pills to stock a small pharmacy for a good 5 to 7 months. And look at you? Look at Frank. Yeah, that’s it, just take a good overall assessment of his appearance. And my mother loves him. She’ll probably try to adopt you.”
“I don’t know Gerard,” Frank said, choosing to ignore the jab at his appearance. Even if he couldn’t be the bigger man in stature, he would be the bigger in spirit. ” She’s got me beat in the ink department. Least from what I can see. What all have you got? How many?” he directed this at Egan. Egan blushed.
“Uh, last count was…69.” Frank’s mouth twitched. Gerard’s hand smacked into him before he could relax the muscles in his face. Egan was a little irritated. Apparently she was missing out on a joke. She frowned. “But a lot of them are small.” she continued.
“What’s your biggest one?” Frank asked.
“There’s a cross I’ve got that covers most of my back.” Frank whistled in awe.
“She’s got moxie.”
Author’s Note: Ever notice how they interrupt each other a lot? Gerard and Egan, I mean. Did you guys know what was going on during the argument? The whole point was they sort of knew what the other was saying before they said it. They've been cooped up too long, yeah? See if you can fill in the blanks correctly. Twenty bucks if you can tell me why Frank’s lip twitched when she told them how many tattoos she has. Read and review. Because you love me, remember? Also, who thinks Egan and Frank will develop a thing? Is there chemistry between them? Maybe just a very natural and easy friendship. But who could resist Frankie? Only time will tell. If you have an idea, for God’s sake, lemme know! I like hearin’ ‘em! And finally, you guys, I really am getting stressed out. My schoolwork is getting ridiculous. Apparently none of the teachers bothered to see if anyone else was giving a research project or alot of home work assignments or what have you this month. So, fuck about sums up my mental state as of late. I thank you for your coming understanding and patience if I take things a little slower in the near future.