FicWad

Maddy's Pov

"Of course i still love you, despite what you did. I know you are an amazing person and i don't think I'll ever be able to let go of what we had." It felt good to finally tell him what was going on. I looked back up and my eyes met his. For s couple of seconds we just stared at each other in silence, taking one another in. Brendon broke the silence.


"You know that when i tell you i'll never stop loving you that i mean it, but all i want for you is to be happy Maddy. I need you to be happy. If that means not being with me or trying to get over me, well then i support you in that. Just know that what ever you do i'll always be there for you and I'll always have your back."


I tried with every bit not to cry at what he let pour out, but a few tears escaped from my eyes and crept down my cheek.


"Please, don't cry baby," he begged as he stood from the couch and approached me. He sat down on the couch that i was at and embraced me in a comforting hug. I buried my head in chest, i was now lightly sobbing.


"Brendon I love, I do! My heart wants you, I can feel it, but my head is telling me to just walk away from both of you."


"It's okay baby, it's okay."


"But i just, god i can't let you go brendon! I've tried so hard, but every time i hear your song on the radio, or see you on tv, or somebody mentions your name around me my heart does backflips. I dont sleep much but when i do i dream of you. So vividly, too. Sometimes, when i wake up and realize that it was just a dream I cry uncontrollably for hours. I think deep down that you're the only one for me, but I feel something for Ryan. It's completely different though. I dont know how to explain any of this."


"It's alright Maddy you don't have to explain yourself to me," he soothingly whispered. He planted kisses on the top of my head and held me a bit tighter. I closed my eyes and took in his scent, and his touch. I was trying to hold on to every bit of him that i possibly could. After what seemed like a few minutes we finally pulled apart. "Feel any better?" he asked.


"A bit. Thanks," I smiled. Our faces were only inches away. He put his forehead against mine.


"Maddy," he breathed.


"Hmm?" I barely let out.


"I want you back. I need you back."


"Im scared, brendon. I'm so scared."


"I won't hurt you again, Maddy. Ever again." I pulled back from him and looked him in the eyes. He made the most immaculate eye contact with me. I believed him.


"We have to keep this absolutely silent." he smiled and kissed me passionately on the lips for the first time since 4 monthes ago, back at the apartment. I broke away for a moment. "Im serious bren, nobody can know. Not Pete, not Jon, not Spencer, not your parents, not my parents, and most definitely not Ryan."


"It doesn't matter to me. I'm, I'm just do happy right now." I leaned back in to kiss him. This time it was a bit slower and explorative. I missed how his lips felt and how he tasted. I missed how he'd grip my neck lightly and run his calloused fingers through my hair. I wanted him and I'd have him tonight.


"Brendon," I broke from the kiss grasping for breath.


"Yeah, babe?" he replied in a husky voice.


"Let's go upstairs," I whispered.


"You sure?" he asked in a concerned way.


"Positive," I smiled.


He stood from the couch and reached out his hand to help my up. We began kissing again, but this time that were a bit shorter. we walked of the living room and towards the stairs. His lips began to explore my neck and my ear. We continued kissing as we made our way up the stairs, down the hall and to my bedroom. Once i managed to open the door we made our way to the bed. He lightly set me down. He removed my tank top and began kissing down my chest and my stomach and then traced his way back up again. I sat up and once again met his lips as i pulled at the hem of his shirt. I pulled it up over his head and threw it somewhere across the room. I planted tons of kisses down his neck and on his chest. I rested my forehead against his while i fiddled with his belt. I finally got it unclasped and let the belt and his pants fall to the floor. He laid me back down again and let his hand travel up my leg to the buttons on my jeans. He teasingly undid them one by one. The anticipation was driving me insane.


"Brendon," I whined. I glanced down and caught him smiling as he painstakingly slipped my jeans off. After he got my jeans completely off and we were both in nothing but our under garments he stopped and looked down at me. I suddenly felt awkward.


"Something wrong?" I asked.


"No," he simply replied, " you're just so beautiful." I smiled and sat back up to meet his lips. I let my hands meet the elastic band of his boxers and lightly pushed them down until they finally fell the rest of the way on their own. We laid back down across the bed and he fiddled the the clasp of my bra. I could feel his erection against my leg. I wanted him so badly now and dont know i much more i could take. he finally shed me of my bra and my panties. He hovered over me for a second and stared into my eyes.


"I love you," he whispered to my lips.


"I love you, too" I whispered back before his lips crashed onto mine. I gasped when he first entered me. He gripped my hips as his thrust became rhythmic and deeper. I knew i was nearing an orgasm and by the way he was breathing i could tell he was, too. Sweat dripped from his forehead and graced across my stomach. He bent down to kiss my neck and then it happened. I felt bolts of pleasure pulse through my veins and for a few minutes felt nothing but pure bliss. He fell to me and burried his head in my neck. I closed my eyes and played with his hair for a bit. After some time he rolled off me and pulled me into his arms. I rested my head against his chest.


"I missed this so much," he admitted," just lying next to you."


"I missed it too." I smiled. I felt exhaustion come over me and began to drift off as he traced his fingers up and down my back.