Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Experiencing A Broken Heart
I wasn’t sure.
Really, I wasn’t.
I wasn’t sure if he was really there.
He shouldn’t have known where I lived.
He shouldn’t have known anything about me.
He said he’d forgotten, but that obviously didn’t matter.
It didn’t matter when his lips found mine.
It didn’t matter when he told me he loved me.
It didn’t matter when...
He was perfect.
It was perfect, but I couldn’t help but think that he was faking it.
He was faking everything.
But part of me didn’t care, just the contact with him, skin on skin, was enough to wisp away any of those thoughts.
I didn’t care how fake and troubled his movements were.
How fake his kisses were and his smiles were.
I was so wrapped up in his beauty and his kisses that I didn’t hear the steps approaching.
Or the door opening.
Or the man standing in my room.
Until I felt the fist in my eye.
And I felt the pain in my ribs.
And I heard Brendon shout out my name.
I couldn’t move.
I doubled over as an explosion of pain erupted in my stomach.
“Bren...Brendon...” I stammered, my voice sounded empty and I reached out towards the boy who was being wrestled by my father.
I slowly stood up and ran as fast as I could into my father, who, at that moment in time, was very, very drunk. I sent him to his knees and quickly helped Brendon up from the floor.
The pain lingered in my stomach but I withdrew from it.
“Hurry up Brendon.” I muttered and pulled him out of my room.
We raced as quickly as we could down my staircase and out of the door.
Things were getting dangerous.
Very dangerous.
There was a yell from inside and I heard the sound of heavy feet on the landing.
I dragged Brendon along the street faster and faster until I couldn’t go any faster.
The red face of my father rounded the corner behind us and I dropped Brendon, turning to face the drunken man.
“Back off!” I yelled at him. He paused, taken aback by my new found confidence.
But it didn’t last long.
He came charging at me and I braced myself for the worst.
But he didn’t connect with me.
Instead, I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder.
The smiling face of Mrs. Urie entered my view and I smiled back.
My father had stopped his rage and had run off, not so brave now that there was an adult involved.
“You two better come back to the house with me.” She said and looked down at Brendon, who was lying on the ground, smiling happily.
Things were looking better.
Much better.
I finally had a future.
I could feel it.
Brendon was with me.
I was with him.
He was whole.
And beautiful as ever.
As beautiful as his old self.
I hadn’t ruined him.
He was perfect again.
Perfect.
Perfectly mine.
Really, I wasn’t.
I wasn’t sure if he was really there.
He shouldn’t have known where I lived.
He shouldn’t have known anything about me.
He said he’d forgotten, but that obviously didn’t matter.
It didn’t matter when his lips found mine.
It didn’t matter when he told me he loved me.
It didn’t matter when...
He was perfect.
It was perfect, but I couldn’t help but think that he was faking it.
He was faking everything.
But part of me didn’t care, just the contact with him, skin on skin, was enough to wisp away any of those thoughts.
I didn’t care how fake and troubled his movements were.
How fake his kisses were and his smiles were.
I was so wrapped up in his beauty and his kisses that I didn’t hear the steps approaching.
Or the door opening.
Or the man standing in my room.
Until I felt the fist in my eye.
And I felt the pain in my ribs.
And I heard Brendon shout out my name.
I couldn’t move.
I doubled over as an explosion of pain erupted in my stomach.
“Bren...Brendon...” I stammered, my voice sounded empty and I reached out towards the boy who was being wrestled by my father.
I slowly stood up and ran as fast as I could into my father, who, at that moment in time, was very, very drunk. I sent him to his knees and quickly helped Brendon up from the floor.
The pain lingered in my stomach but I withdrew from it.
“Hurry up Brendon.” I muttered and pulled him out of my room.
We raced as quickly as we could down my staircase and out of the door.
Things were getting dangerous.
Very dangerous.
There was a yell from inside and I heard the sound of heavy feet on the landing.
I dragged Brendon along the street faster and faster until I couldn’t go any faster.
The red face of my father rounded the corner behind us and I dropped Brendon, turning to face the drunken man.
“Back off!” I yelled at him. He paused, taken aback by my new found confidence.
But it didn’t last long.
He came charging at me and I braced myself for the worst.
But he didn’t connect with me.
Instead, I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder.
The smiling face of Mrs. Urie entered my view and I smiled back.
My father had stopped his rage and had run off, not so brave now that there was an adult involved.
“You two better come back to the house with me.” She said and looked down at Brendon, who was lying on the ground, smiling happily.
Things were looking better.
Much better.
I finally had a future.
I could feel it.
Brendon was with me.
I was with him.
He was whole.
And beautiful as ever.
As beautiful as his old self.
I hadn’t ruined him.
He was perfect again.
Perfect.
Perfectly mine.
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