But Ryan didn’t hear the words perfectly. He didn’t hear them at all. He felt his grip slacken and his breath quicken. He was letting go of the railing. And letting go of his heart.
Maybe...no...No it was fine.
This was what anyone would do in his situation.
He knew this would happen sometime anyway.
He stared sullenly out over the bridge at the many passing cars.
This was what he had planned. He knew that he was going to do it.
You see, he was in love.
With someone too perfect to be real.
With someone SO perfect, that anyone and everyone around them, gravitates towards them, like a flock of geese around a swan.
The boy looked at the passing cars again and slowly pulled himself onto the railing where he sat, precariously.
He sighed to himself and again wondered why he was doing this.
Was this really the only thing he could do?
Was this the only way out?
He closed his eyes slowly and concentrated on all the reasons that he was doing this.
He was in love. With someone perfect, but that person, was in love with someone else who was also perfect.
As he thought about it, the wind bit into him sharply and made the pain a little bit more real.
Thoughts flew dangerously around his head and locked with each other in constant conflict.
He sighed again and opened his eyes.
This was it.
He slowly turned himself around, so that his back was facing the road he was planning to throw himself onto.
What is the point?
What is the point in life when the one thing, person, love that you ever wanted, isn’t a possibility.
He nodded to himself as he thought those thoughts.
“Yeah, what is the point?” He muttered to himself.
He took a very large breath in and very slowly, let his hands slip from the railing and-
“RYAN!” His name echoed eerily around his ears and he strained himself to hear who it was that was calling him.
“RYAN!” The call came again and he saw a figure running towards him.
Maybe it was the person he longed to see.
Maybe it was going to be the one person he ever wanted to see.
He smiled and tightened his grip on the railing.
He would wait a little longer.
The figure approached, but the shape was all wrong.
“RYAN!” He called again but the voice was wrong too. “What the HELL are you doing?”
His heart fell as his mind quickly matched the voice to its owner.
“Spencer?” Ryan’s voice was small and weak.
“Yeah, Ryan. Right, I want you to come over here for me.” Spencer said slowly, so that every word could be heard perfectly.
But Ryan didn’t hear the words perfectly.
He didn’t hear them at all.
He felt his grip slacken and his breath quicken.
He was letting go of the railing.
And letting go of his heart.
Everything went flying past Ryan, so fast that it felt unreal, but for once, Ryan felt in control and everything moved in perfect motion.
He felt his eyes slip close and a smile ran across his lips.
He was almost at the floor now.
But he wasn’t ready; he had one thing to say.
The ground was coming up fast, he had to hurry.
He took a deep breath and just as his time was over, the 4, beautiful words softly escaped his lips.
“I love you Brendon“