The same day he almost loses his life, she tries to end hers. Is it some weird fate that they should wind up in the same hospital?
Blood was everywhere. On the floor, her hands, her arms; everywhere. She slowly cracked one blurry eye open as her mother pushed open the bathroom door. The last thing she heard before giving into the darkness, was her mother, screaming in terror.
- - - - -
Emmi slowly opened her eyes, blinking them a couple of times to clear the haze that clouded her vision. She became aware of the steady beeping of the heart monitor she was hooked up to, and the quiet whispers on the other side of the curtain. Looking over, she couldn’t even make out any silhouettes, and she could only catch a word or two of the words being said. After trying for a few moments, and failing miserably, to hear anything, Emmi gave up her eavesdropping and looked around her side of the curtain, not surprised to find herself alone.
She looked around again, her eyes finally falling on what she had been searching for; the call button. She slowly picked up the call button by her hand and pressed down on it, relief flooding her when the nurse didn’t take long to come in; although she could have done without the sickly sweet smile on the nurse’s face.
“Good to see you awake, Dear,” the nurse bubbled as she moved to stand by the hospital bed. “How are you feeling?”
Her throat too dry to speak, Emmi looked at the water on the bedside table, and then back to the nurse, hoping the petite blonde wasn’t as stupid as she looked. She smiled slightly when the nurse grabbed the small pitcher of water and poured some of the liquid into a cup. Emmi fought the urge to sigh as the nurse looked all over for a straw and, when she found out, stuck a straw in the water, holding it up to her lips.
“Sorry, it’s the most I can do for you right now sweet heart,” the nurse, whose name tag read “Allison,” said.
Emmi gave a weak nod and drank as much as she could through the straw, until her throat felt like ice had coated it, and looked up at he nurse as she looked down at her. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“Is there anything else I can get you right now?” Allison asked.
Emmi shook her head slowly and licked her dry lips. “Where are my parents?”
“They went home,” Allison answered, looking at the vitals showing on the heart monitor, reminding Emmi of the one beeping on the other side of the curtain. “They said to call when you woke up.”
No surprise there, Emmi thought to herself as looked at the curtain, frowning. “Thank you...”
“The doctor will be in shortly to check up on you,” Allison said before giving a small nod and heading to the other side of the curtain.
- - - - -
A soft groan escaped Ryan’s lips as he came to, wondering why it felt like all of his blood was in his head, why he hurt all over. He could faintly hear sirens, and he could smell something burning, but the screaming was louder than the sirens, and the coppery smell of blood stronger than the burning smell. He opened his eyes and frowned slightly when he saw the road almost at eye level, a cry of pain erupting from him when he tried to move his arm, a searing pain shooting up his arm.
He looked at his arm and saw it pressing into the shattered glass of what had been a passenger side window. His eyes widened when he saw the blood pooling by his hand as it ran off of his arm. His scalp felt moist and he didn’t know if it was blood or sweat from the unbearable heat; part of him didn’t want to know. He gasped softly when he remembered the Spencer’s startled scream when the car they were in was rear ended into the busy street and the driver’s side back of the car hit by an oncoming vehicle. He winced as he turned his head and looked at his friend to see him unconscious, and he couldn’t tell if he was breathing or not.
“S-Spence,” Ryan whimpered, his voice trembling as he reached over with his good arm and lightly touched Spencer’s shoulder, not even making him stir. Ryan looked over when he heard footsteps running, watching the people run over, screaming that the two had to be removed before the fire hit the gas tank.
The last thing he knew before passing out was watching Spencer get pulled out and his own cries of pain as paramedics got his arm out of the glass and pulled him from the rental car.
- - - - -
Brendon laid down the card he had been holding on to, waiting for what would seem like the right moment to do so; pouting when Ryan snatched it up with a small grin. “So, how’s the arm?” He asked, trying to distract Ryan with some type of conversation. The sound of two heart monitors beeping was driving Brendon insane he needed to hear another human’s voice and Jon and Spence weren’t options right now.
Ryan shrugged and looked down at his right arm that was wrapped in layers of gauze, the wounds underneath itching slightly. “I can still use it, even if it does hurt, so I guess it’s good,” Ryan answered as he turned his eyes on his own hand of cards, scanning them.
Jon’s soft snores made Brendon look at the man who was asleep with his head on Spencer’s hospital bed, his fingers tangled in his boyfriend’s hand. Jon and Brendon hadn’t been in the car with Ryan and Spencer, but they had made it to the hospital when Ryan woke up long enough to give a doctor Brendon’s number before slipping under the effects of the pain killers being pumped into his body. Amazingly Ryan and Spencer had only suffered cuts and bruises on Ryan’s part and cuts, bruises, and a concussion on Spencer’s part. To which all four were thankful for considering the fact that the car had been flipped four times by the side impact.
“At least nothing’s broken, or worse,” Brendon said as he looked at Ryan, who was looking at the curtain next to Spencer’s bed. “What?”
“I thought I heard something,” Ryan whispered before he looked back to his cards and laid a set to the side and laid down a card in the line of cards. “And yeah, I’m just glad we’re alive after that.” His words dealt a blow to his own mind as Ryan thought about what he had said.
Spencer had taken him for a ride in the rental car to help Ryan think and clear his head of the suicidal thoughts that had been filtering in. Two days ago Ryan wanted to die, and almost did, but now he was glad to be alive, and he deeply regretted his thoughts that day. If it hadn’t been for his depression Spencer wouldn’t be laying in a hospital bed, needing to be monitored for another day. He would be on the bus, snuggled up with Jon in the bunk they shared on tours. The guilt was eating him, and there was nothing he could do. He didn’t know what would have happened if Spencer had died.
The sound of the door to the room opening up made both men look to the curtain. “Good to see you awake, Dear, how are you feeling?”
Allison, Ryan mouth to Brendon who nodded and looked at his hand of cards, pouting slightly. He listened to the nurse talk to the person, curiosity peeking in his mind since he realized he had yet to see who was over there.
“Sorry, it’s the most I can do for you right now sweet heart.”
Ryan chewed on his lip as he wondered about the person in the next room. Was it a guy or a girl? What were they in the hospital for? He frowned as he laid down another set and his final card, making Brendon pout at his loss. He looked at Brendon who gave him a brooding look as he picked up the cards and stacked them before setting them on the table. “Don’t look at me that way,” Ryan said, lifting a brow.
Ryan looked at the curtain when he heard the female voice, weak and tired, obviously holding great sadness. He wasn’t even aware that Brendon was looking at him, trying to get his attention to ask if he wanted to play another game. He was too caught up listening to the girl’s voice. It sounded like how his own voice sounded at times, making him wonder what had made her sad. When a pen hit him upside the head, Ryan shot a glare at Brendon, who batted his eyelashes at him.
“Do you want to play another hand?” Brendon asked. He dealt another hand when Ryan gave a slight nod and looked back to the curtain.
- - - - -
Ryan was the only one awake when Spencer opened his eyes, frowning at the pounding in his head. The soft brushing sound of the bandage, wrapped around Spencer’s head, moving against his pillow was what drew Ryan’s attention to him. Ryan gave his friend a small smile, and had it returned when Spencer realized someone was awake with him.
“Hey,” Spencer whispered after taking note of the sleeping Brendon and Jon. He brought his hand up and lightly toyed with a small lock of Jon’s hair, a small smile dancing on his lips, a stab of jealousy hitting Ryan’s chest.
“Hey,” Ryan whispered, trying to seem unfazed by the fact that Spencer had someone to show affection to and now he didn’t. That was what had made him suicidal; the “love” of his life, Keltie, had let him know she had been cheating on him for a while. She finally ended it and didn’t even bat an eyelash when he actually shed tears in front of her. He hadn’t been trying to get her pity, but he couldn’t control the tears that the pain of her ripping his heart out caused. “How’s your head feeling?”
Spencer gave a small shrug and sighed as he rested his hand back down by Jon’s sleeping head. “Hurts, but less than when I woke up yesterday. How’s the arm?”
“Hurts like Hell,” Ryan answered, the tone of his voice making Spencer laugh softly. Ryan gave a little grin and got up, stretching for a moment before he sat back down. Part of him had wanted to go to the other side of the curtain, but he couldn’t get the courage up to. There was a bathroom on Spencer’s side of the curtain so he didn’t need to leave the room, but he didn’t want the girl to catch him looking in on her.
Spencer noticed his friend’s eyes drift to the curtain by his bed for a moment before snapping back to him. He grinned and cleared his throat softly. “Who’s over there?” He questioned, motioning to the curtain.
Ryan shrugged. “I don’t know to be honest with you. I only heard her talking a couple of times, but I haven’t looked over there...”
“Her?” Spencer grinned. “Are you sure you haven’t looked over there?”
“Spence, stop... I’m not going to hit on some girl in a hospital when I won’t see her after you get out of the hospital.” Ryan frowned as he listened to the coldness of his own words, hating that they were probably true. Besides, who could love him? Obviously he wasn’t good enough for anyone to stay loyal to, why bother wasting anyone else’s time?
Spencer could practically hear the thoughts in Ryan’s head, just from the look in his friend’s eyes, and it made him frown. “Ryan, you need to quit thinking about that shit,” he growled out softly. “Whatever you’re thinking, and I know it’s not something good, you’re wrong. Now go say hi to her because you can easily get her number and keep in touch.”
Ryan frowned at his friend. “I’m not going to go bother a stranger in a hospital room, she might need her rest.”
Brendon interrupted Spencer as he groaned and stretched in his chair, grunting slightly when something popped. He looked at Spencer and Ryan with sleepy eyes and yawned so wide his mouth should have split. “What’s going on?”
“Ryan won’t go talk to the girl on the other side of the curtain,” Spencer whispered, shaking his head.
“Why would he? He doesn’t need to be talking to another girl when he has Keltie,” Brendon said, a bit annoyed that Spencer would try to make Ryan cheat on Keltie. He got confused when Ryan looked down, and Spencer glared at him. He could swear he saw a glimmer of tears in Ryan’s eyes. “Wh-What? What did I say?”
Spencer sighed as Ryan gave him a sideways glance and nodded. He looked at Brendon. “Keltie broke up with him the day of the accident Brendon,” Spencer said softly. “She had been cheating on him.”
Brendon’s jaw dropped slightly as he looked to his best friend, suddenly realizing just how broken he looked. He got up and went to Ryan, pulling his friend close for a tight hug. “I’m sorry Ry,” Brendon said softly as Ryan snuggled into his shoulder, sniffling softly. “It’ll be okay...”
“You should just go gay and get with Brendon, think how many fans that would make happy,” Spencer said, the tone in his voice showing he was joking with his friend.
“And it’d make me happy,” Brendon said, playing along with Spencer as he wrapped his arms around his friend.
Ryan play shoved at Brendon, even though he had started smiling through his tears. “You just want me in your pants,” he pouted and snuggled back into Brendon’s shoulder.
“More like I want in your pants,” Brendon argued, grinning down at his friend before he giggled when Ryan’s fingers dug into his side and squirmed. “Stop it Ross or I’ll fucking kill you,” he cried out as he quietly as he could, not wanting to wake the girl on the other side of the curtain if she was asleep.
Ryan smiled as he pulled away from Brendon. “Okay, I’m done, are you done?”
“Yeah, can’t say it was as good for me as it was for you though,” Brendon smirked, thinking he had the last words.
“Well if you weren’t a cold, little fish boy...” Ryan let his words trial off as he lifted his brows at Brendon who shot him a shocked and wounded look.
“Boys enough,” Spencer said as he rolled his eyes. “You’re going to make my head hurt worse than it already does.”
“And this time it isn’t from Jon making it hit the headboard,” Brendon said, yelping when Ryan slapped the back of his head. He pouted as Spencer laughed softly at him as he rubbed the wound inflicted by Ryan. “So abusive.”
- - - - -
Ryan slowly opened his eyes, yelping in surprise and nearly falling out of his chair when he came face to face with a very perky looking Jon. “Damn you Walker,” Ryan growled as he rubbed his sleepy eyes. “Why do you do that to me?”
“Good morning to you too Sleepy Beauty,” Jon said with a grin. “You won’t hate me much longer, because I have a present for you,” he said the last part in a sing-song voice.
Ryan gave him a wary look as his eyebrows drew together. “What did you get me?”
“A lunch with the girl next door. Her name’s Emmi by the way,” Jon said, beaming at the confused Ryan. “But you have to ask her as if she doesn’t know she’s waiting for it.”
Ryan narrowed his eyes at Jon, who was giving him a sincere smile. “Why don’t I believe you?”
Jon shrugged. “I don’t know, but in all honesty, I’m wounded. It’s legit, she just didn’t believe me when I told her you were on the other side of her curtain, in the same hospital as her, and that you were interested in meeting her.” He shook his head, sighing softly. “You’re just as disbelieving as she was.”
Ryan chewed his lip as he looked to Spencer, who was asleep, and then frowned when he couldn’t see Brendon anywhere. He needed help and neither person that could help him was available. He looked back to Jon, who smiled at him as if he had just cracked some impossible code. “You’re not lying to me? She really is waiting for me to come over there and ask her to lunch?” When Jon nodded, Ryan smiled and hugged his friend tight.
Jon chuckled and hugged back, lightly patting Ryan’s shoulder blade as he did so. He let go of Ryan and pulled his friend to his feet. “Go get her,” he said with a smile. As Ryan inhaled and exhaled deeply and then headed toward the curtain, Jon looked at Spencer, who grinned at him, with one eye peeked open, and mouthed, Liar.
Brendon peeked out from behind the chair by Spencer’s bed, grinning, since it had been his idea to begin with.
- - - - -
Emmi, who had been staring out the window near her bed, heard footsteps come from the other side of the curtain and stop on her side. When whoever it was made no other movements, she looked away from the window, staring in slight shock at Ryan, who gave a nervous smile and a small wave. Too stunned to speak, and shocked she could even move, Emmi returned the small wave. Is Ryan Ross really standing in my room? She thought.
“H-Hi...” Ryan managed to stutter out as he looked at Emmi. By the confusion on her face, he was slowly beginning to believe Jon had lied to him, and he could feel his cheeks warming at the thought that he was probably making an ass out of himself.
“Hi...” Emmi replied, her eyes locking on his as he stared at her, obviously looking nervous.
“So, um, I was just wondering, if the hospital said yes, if you would like to have lunch with me...? We could have it in here if you’d prefer.” Ryan’s own words and tone played back in his mind and he felt the urge to disappear.
He wants to have lunch...with me? Why me? Is this some sort of joke? What if it isn’t? What if he is interested? But why would he be interested in me? He probably just wants to have lunch so he won’t feel alone in the hospital... Would it be so bad to have lunch with the cutest guitar player? Not really... But why is he in the hospital?
Slowly Emmi nodded her head, wondering if she had imagined the look of relief that seemed to flicker across his face as he smiled at her. “We can eat in here if you want to avoid being mobbed,” she said softly.
A realization dawned on Ryan. He hadn’t thought about the fact that she might have been a fan. What if she only wanted him for his fame? Or his money? What if she was another Keltie? He bit his lip and nodded, giving a sheepish smile. “I think it would be best to eat in here,” he said as he glanced at the curtain and then at her. “Can I just ask you a real quick question?”
Emmi gave him a slightly confused look, but nodded anyway. “Sure...”
“Um, did any of my friends come over here?” Please say yes... When Emmi shook her head, he sighed and nodded. “I thought so...” He looked up at her. “I’ll be right back.”
Emmi watched him disappear to the other side of the curtain, and lifted a brow when she heard a blow land followed by a yelp, and then hushed whispers. She gave him a small smile when he came back to her side and smiled slightly.
Ryan managed to smile at her even though his hand stung from how hard he slapped Jon on the back of the head. “I’ll just go check with the doctor about having lunch with you, okay?”
Emmi nodded and watched as he slipped out the door, looking over when there was a tapping on the curtain. She lifted a brow again when the curtain slid to the side, by the head of her bed, and Brendon poked his head on her side and smiled. Is all of Panic in the hospital?? “Hi...?”
“Thanks for having lunch with Ry,” Brendon said, still smiling. His eyes darted to the door, obviously checking for Ryan. “He’s been curious about you since yesterday, but hey, you didn’t hear it from me, okay? You heard it from Jon.”
Emmi watched as Brendon got jerked away the curtain, the curtain sliding back shut as Ryan came back into the hospital room.
- - - - -
“So... Why are you in the hospital?” Ryan asked as he and Emmi ate their lunch together. She was on her bed, sitting up on the edge, her feet barely brushing the floor, and he was sitting in a chair set across from the small food tray/table the hospital brought in for them. Spencer had promised to keep Brendon and Jon entertained so they wouldn’t be listening in on the two. “If you don’t mind me asking...”
Emmi bit her lip and took a sip from her cup of water, her eyes straying to the gauze wrapped from her wrists to her elbows, thinking how obvious it should have been. Unless he’d rather ask than just assume... “I’d rather not tell you,” she replied as she looked at him. “I’m really sorry Ryan, I’m not trying to be rude, I just-”
“It’s okay, really,” he said softly as he gave her a small smile. “I understand wanting to keep something quiet, I’m in the industry where everything leaks.” He chuckled, but it was obviously a bitter amusement. “I could have come in here by car, not ambulance, and people would have known by the morning after, no matter how much I didn’t want them to know.”
Emmi frowned, feeling bad for him. His eyes had gone from having little light in them, to none of at all as he obviously replayed his own words in his head. “It’s sad that you can’t live a life without someone finding out when you scratch somewhere in public. Some random guy does it, it’s fine, but you do it...”
“I must have crabs from some Vegas show girl,” he finished, both chuckling, some light returning to his eyes.
She noticed his right arm had the same time of wrap she had around both of her arms, but she doubted he would have tried to kill himself. Plus the scratch down the right side of his face, that wasn’t deep so it obviously wouldn’t scar, didn’t suggest he was trying to kill himself. Why cut his face? “Ryan... Are you the only one in the hospital?”
Ryan shook his head, frowning. “No, I’m not a patient anymore, I’m staying for Spence. We were both in a pretty bad car accident,” he answered, and quickly continued when he saw the worried look on her face. “He’s going to be fine, they just want to make sure he doesn’t get any bad headaches since he had a bad concussion when he came in here.”
“Is that what happened to your arm?” She asked, her voice quiet as she glanced to the gauze wrap and then back to his face. When he nodded she felt a bit of relief flood her since the guy she had feelings for hadn’t actually been trying to kill himself.
“I guess when the um, car, flipped my arm hit the window and busted through it,” he explained, frowning as he looked down at the pristine white of the gauze. “The doctor said it’s probably going to scar, but with cosmetic surgery they can take care of it and poof, Ryan Ross is ‘perfect’ again.” He was trying to make a joke, but it failed, and he sighed as he looked up at her. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to ruin our lunch.”
Emmi shook her head quickly. “No, no, you’re not ruining it,” she said quickly, giving him a sincere look. “I promise you’re not... I hope I don’t sound mean when I say this, but it was kind of refreshing to hear you so bitter towards the people wanting you to be perfect. You’re not perfect, no one is. It’s nice to hear someone say that word without a smile on their face, you know?”
Ryan nodded, smiling when she finished. “You didn’t sound mean, not at all Emmi,” he chuckled as he got up and tossed his empty plate in the trash can in the corner of her room. “Are you done with yours?” When she nodded and held out her empty plate, he took it from her and tossed it in the trash can with his own discarded plate.
“Kind of wish I wasn’t done to be honest with you,” Emmi said, hoping he would take her subtle hint that she wanted to spend a little more time with him. It was nice talking to someone who wasn’t looking at her with disappointment or constant worry. It was almost heaven.
Ryan smiled and sat back down in the chair, after moving the food tray/table away from the bed. “Just because we finished eating, doesn’t mean we can’t keep talking,” he said, looking at her with a sort of hopeful look showing in his eyes that made her faintly blush. “If it’s fine with you that is.”
Emmi nodded and shifted in her spot on the bed. “So, Ryan Ross, who speaks of himself in the third person, can I ask why you hit someone earlier?”
Ryan chuckled nervously and glanced down as his own cheeks grew red. “Well, um, you see... Jon told me that you were expecting me to come over here and talk to you, and you weren’t so I kind of...”
“Gave him brain damage,” Emmi finished for him, laughing softly as he blushed more and nodded, smiling sheepishly up at her. “So,” she said as her laughter calmed. “I’ll save you the embarrassment of asking you why since Brendon already told me that you wanted to talk to me... I just don’t know why...”
Ryan looked up at her, noting the slight saddened tone of her voice and the way her eyes had darkened slightly. “Well, I was curious at first about why you were in here, but then, I got curious about the face behind the voice I heard, and yeah... I’m a very curious guy.”
“I notice this,” she said with a small smile. “Hopefully I didn’t let you down on the face part..”
Ryan shook his head, blushing more, but she wasn’t sure it was from the Jon thing. “I, erm, like the face behind the voice... It’s a very pretty one,” he said softly, definitely not wanting Jon or Brendon to hear him complimenting her. He could only imagine the wolf whistles and cat calls that would have come from the other side of the curtain. He smiled shyly at her and gave a small shrug. “I was sort of wondering why such a pretty girl would want to have lunch with me, aside from it’s a hospital and she has nowhere to run,” he said, meaning the last part as a joke.
Emmi frowned as she stared at him in disbelief. “What do you mean by that? Why wouldn’t anyone, pretty face or not, want to have lunch with you? You have the most amazing voice ever, talking or singing, you’re obviously a very sweet, and funny, guy... Why wouldn’t anyone want the chance to just talk to you?” As soon as Emmi realized what she had just said, to who she had just said it, and the look of surprise on his face, she bit her lip and looked to the ground. She could tell from the heat on her face that she was blushing profusely; it made her wish to disappear.
“Emmi... Please look at me...” When Emmi looked up at him, Ryan gave her a small smile that she returned, even though her cheeks were still burning bright red. “Do you actually think that about me?” When she nodded timidly, Ryan got up and moved to her, hugging her lightly, so not to hurt her since he didn’t know why she was in the hospital to begin with; even if the bandages on her arms gave him a hint. Ryan closed his eyes when she hugged back, after hesitating a moment, and sighed softly, slowly pulling away, looking at her as she looked up at him. “Sorry, I... I shouldn’t have done that without asking fi-”
“No, it’s okay,” she replied, cutting him off with a reassuring smile. It had caught her off guard, but she hadn’t minded getting hugged by him; and she couldn’t help but think he smelled as good as he looked.
“Are you sure?” He asked, his insecurity practically radiating off of him as he backed up a little bit. When she nodded and took his hand in hers, giving it a small squeeze before letting go, he smiled. “If I’m not sounding too forward... Do you think I could get your number for when Spence gets out of here?”
“You want my number?” She asked, her eyes widening slightly as she studied his face. When he nodded, she bit her lip. Not to look a gift horse in the mouth... “Why do you want my number?”
Ryan smiled slightly when he noticed her emphasis on ‘my.’ “Because I’d like to be able to keep in touch with you,” he said as he sat by her on her bed, looking at her. “You’re nice, sweet, and to be honest, another reason is because you talk to me like a normal person, and it’s nice. And, to be honest, you’re cute.”
Emmi blushed and lowered her head, or tried to. She was stopped by his hand under her chin, making her keep looking at him. She blushed more when she caught her eyes dropping to his mouth as she realized how close he was to her. She nodded slightly as he lightly rubbed his thumb over her jaw line. “Okay,” she whispered, smiling a little when she realized they were a little closer.
“Would you just fucking kiss her already? My God, really.” Ryan and Emmi froze and slowly looked at the edge of the curtain, by the top of her bed, where Brendon, Jon, and yes, the bastard Spencer, had their heads on her side of the curtain. Brendon gave a guilty smile. “Hi.”
“Dammit Brendon,” Spencer growled as he jerked, and obviously elbowed Brendon in the ribs seeing as the singer yelped and bent over slightly, grumbling and shooting a glare at Spencer.
“Nice going Bren,” Jon pouted as the three disappeared to Spencer’s side of the curtain. “Couldn’t keep his damn mouth shut...”
Ryan and Emmi looked at each other, both blushing pretty badly. “I’m really sorry about those guys,” Ryan said. “Spencer promised he would keep Brendon and Jon entertained so that wouldn’t happen,” he explained, drawing out the ‘r’ to Spencer’s name, knowing how his friend, who was probably eavesdropping, hated to be called Spencer. “I’m going to kill him when I go back over there,” he grumbled.
“No, because if you kill him then you’ll end up in prison before we can talk next,” Emmi smiled and looked down at her hand when he took it in his own and gave it a small squeeze. She smiled up at him and returned the small squeeze.
“Emmi,” Ryan whispered, obviously not wanting the others to hear in case. When her eyes moved to look into his, Ryan bit his lip. “Um... Can I ask why you did it...?” He asked, looking down to her arms and then back up to her eyes.
Emmi frowned and looked down, biting her lip. “Because I was tired of living,” she said softly so only Ryan would hear. “I was tired of living with the memories of everything I’ve been through, tired of knowing no one will ever love me, or even want me. I know I’m not pretty and I don’t have anything to offer to anyone. What good am I?” She sighed and looked up at him, expecting to see disgust, the usual disappointment, but instead she met a face of concern, slight shock, and she was almost positive she had seen understanding in those beautiful eyes.
“You’re very beautiful Emmi,” he said softly as he brought his hand up and cupped her cheek. “You shouldn’t think you’re not because you’re wrong.”
“And the other stuff?” She questioned as if trying to prove a point.
“You and I feel the same way about ourselves,” he answered. “I hate myself even more since the car accident... There wouldn’t have been one if Spence hadn’t taken me for a drive to cheer up. I wanted to die,” he looked down, lowering his hand from her face. “I felt like I wasn’t anything to anyone, I wasn’t worth anyone’s time, and because of that my best friend is laying in a hospital bed, could be laying in a casket, because of me...”
Emmi frowned and leaned in, hugging Ryan tightly when his words broke off in a cracked voice. She rubbed his back softly when he shifted and put his arms around her, obviously needing the comfort more than wanting it. “It’s okay Ryan, it wasn’t your fault. It could have been anyone, you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. You couldn’t have known there would be an accident, so stop blaming yourself Ryan. I’m sure he tells you the same thing, am I right?” When he nodded weakly against her shoulder, where his forehead was resting, she brought up the hand that had been rubbing on his back and softly rubbed the back of his head. “Then that means he feels the same way and you shouldn’t blame yourself if he doesn’t blame you.”
Ryan sighed softly against her shoulder as he relaxed in her arms, thinking how nice she smelled, underneath the clean, antiseptic stench of the hospital. Her words were making him feel a little bit better, probably because it was helping to hear it from someone besides Spencer, and he couldn’t help but smile slightly at her when he slowly lifted his head. “You know, it’s kind of weird how you’re making me feel like I am actually worth something,” he whispered.
“But you are,” she replied. She was about to say something else when his mouth softly came against hers, silencing her words. It caught her off guard, and her first instinct was to jerk back, but it was Ryan, Ryan Ross, the guy she had been wanting to kiss. She returned the soft kiss, her eyes slipping closed when his did the same. Chills went up and down her spine as his hand lightly brushed over her cheek while his mouth continued to melt against hers. There was no urgency, no need, just a soft, sweet kiss that managed to suck the air from her lungs; as cliche as it may be.
Ryan’s head swam when she didn’t push him away, but kissed back, and as he kissed her, his heart thudded against his chest. He loved the way her mouth felt against his, unable to help it when he let go of a soft blissful sigh. He slowly broke the kiss and returned the small smile she gave him. “Sor-”
“Don’t apologize,” she said softly. “If I didn’t want you to I would have pushed you away.” She fought the urge to frown when his cell phone went off and he quickly gave her an apologetic look as he took it out and answered it, stepping out of the room. She sighed softly, smiling when she realized her lips were tingling from when he had kissed her a few minutes ago.
“He likes you, you know...” Emmi looked at both ends of the curtain and frowned when she didn’t see anyone. “Down here.” She turned on the bed and looked down at the bottom of the curtain, where Brendon was poking his head on the other side. It was obvious he was laying on the floor, and probably partly scrunched up against Spencer’s hospital bed.
“You know Spencer is going to hurt you again if he sees you down there,” she said quietly so Spencer wouldn’t hear incase he didn’t know.
“You know you should try to get with him, he’s a good guy, you’re obviously a good girl if he kissed you,” Brendon grinned, winking in play at her as she blushed bright red. “Yeah, I saw. Spence is busy right now so he doesn’t even notice I’m down here,” he chuckled. “But in all honesty, you should ask-”
“Brendon, what are you doing?” Spencer hissed, making Brendon freeze.
“Gotta go,” Brendon said before disappearing on the other side of the curtain, leaving Emmi to stare after him as she shook her head before she looked up at the door when Ryan came back in and gave her another apologetic look.
“Sorry, I had to take that, it was my Mom,” he said and sat down next to her. “So... I take it that just completely killed that little moment we were having, huh?”
“Kind of, but not fully,” she answered.
Ryan nodded and bit his lip looking down as he slightly swung his legs since his feet barely touched the floor. “Are you sure you didn’t mind me kissing you? I can leave if you want me to...”
“No, Ryan, you don’t have to leave, it was fine, I mean it,” Emmi said reassuringly, offering him a small smile as she put her hand in his, which made him look up at her. “I didn’t mind you kissing me.”
Ryan smiled and gave her hand a small squeeze before loosening the slight grip, but still held her hand. “So, does that mean I might have a chance at maybe getting a date?” He questioned softly as his eyes took on a shy gaze that would have made her blush if she wasn’t stunned.
Emmi stared at him, unable to believe he had asked her out. She had somewhat been able to absorb the part of him asking her for her phone number, but a date with Ryan Ross? That was a bit to absorb, and she didn’t even realize she was just sitting there, staring, until he shifted, looking worried. The look brought her back and she smiled. “I’d like that Ryan.”
“Really?” He asked timidly, smiling more when she nodded.
“Pssst... This is the part where you kiss her again,” Brendon whispered from against the other side of the curtain.
“Brendon!” Jon groaned and Brendon’s feet disappeared from the other side of the curtain as Jon obviously pulled him away.
“What? It wasn’t me! Maybe there’s a ghost in here, yeah, a gho-OW! Jon, why did you hit me!?”
Ryan chuckled and looked at Emmi, who was obviously trying to be subtle about trying not to laugh. “Think I should listen to him?” He questioned, smiling. When she nodded, he smiled and closed the space between them, his lips pressing against hers as he brought his hand up and placed it on the back of her neck. He sighed softly into the kiss when she put her hand on his chest and returned the soft kiss.
[Author's Note: Viola! One-shot lol As promised, Emmi and Ryan, with a little Joncer thrown in. I swear to Gods if it was me I would've whacked Brendon so many damn times lol. But yeah, that was it and I hope you guys (and Emmi!) liked it. If you see any weird mess ups, I'm working on fixing them lol]