Take the money and GO.
I held Emily in my arms, trying to calm her down, but it was useless, her wails became louder, and my sobs became even bigger. My whole body shuddered, as if I was sitting in the snow wearing nothing, but the funny thing was that I wasn't crying because I was sad, or angry, I was crying because I felt relieved to finally know the truth. For all those years I had thought he had abandoned me, but that wasn't the case at all.
"I want daddy back," Emily cried into my breast. "Why did you make him go?"
"I didn't make him go," I whispered.
"Yes you did! I heard you."
There was a loud knock, and simultaneously, Emily and I ceased our crying. It couldn't be Ronnie, because he didn't have to knock, he still had a key. Before I could think of who it might be, Emily was up and running out of the room yelling "Daddy!"
"No, Emily, don't open it!" I yelled after her, but as I rounded the corner, she had just unlocked the door and swung it open. I sucked in a big breath of air when I saw Gerard standing outside the door, with a blood stained t-shirt clinging to his body.
"You're not my daddy," Emily said before she ran off into the other room. Gerards eyes were glued to the spot where she had just disappeared.
"She looks just like me," he whispered, his eyes darting to me. "Her hair, her nose, her skin, that's all me. But she has your gorgeous eyes." Without saying another word, Gerard shut the door behind him, and took me in his arms. He began to cry as he ran his hands through my hair and down my back. The feeling of his finger tips touching me sent pleasant shock throughout my body, and that's when I realized how true it was: I would never fall out of love with him. Had I known that within the next day my whole world would change, I would have told him right then.
I had never even dreamed about being unfaithful to Ronnie, but I lost myself in the moment. Everything became a blur as Gerard undressed me, and then himself. I vaguely remember wondering where Emily had wandered off to, but when Gerard pressed himself inside of me everything became irrelevant. I clawed at his back and he sucked at my breasts, all the while pushing himself into me as deep as he could thrust. I cried out loudly when I climaxed, but Gerard drowned me out by covering my mouth with his. Seconds later, after he let himself go inside of me, he pulled out and fell next to me panting.
I collected him in my arms, said, "I thought I had lost you. I thought I was never going to see you again," and then began crying.
(almost six years earlier)
My phone vibrated for the second time that minute, with the same unidentified number flashing across the screen. I was skeptical on whether or not to answer it, but when it continued ringing and ringing, I finally answered.
"Gerard, this is Ronnie." I wasn't quite sure I had heard him right, after all why the hell would he call me? But then I realized it probably had to do with the shoot that I was going out to LA to do with Sara.
"What the hell could you possibly want?" I asked in a bored tone.
"When are you coming to LA?" he asked.
"That is none of your business."
"Let me rephrase that, I need to talk to you when you come to LA or you'll be sorry you didn't."
The next day, I sat uncomfortably across from Ronnie at his rehab center, his eyes drilling holes into mine.
"I have a proposition for you," he said calmly, and I started laughing at how surreal he sounded. "This is a serious issue, and I cannot see how you could be laughing right now."
"Listen to yourself. You sound like you belong to the mob." I continued laughing, but I stopped when Ronnie leaned forward so fast and hissed, "You better shut up before I castrate you mother fucker." I glared at him as he sat back up in his seat and smiled evily.
"This time it's my turn to play dirty Mr. Way. But, unlike you, I stay true to my threats. I happen to know a few people who are so desperate for money that they'll do just about anything I ask them to for a couple thousand dollars. So," he reached into his shirt pocked and pulled out a small rectangular piece of paper that looked like a cheque. "My wife is going to end this little affair with you and when she does, you will never step foot near her again. Are we clear?"
"What makes you think she'll do that?"
"Mr. Way, I am not suggesting she will, I know she will. What I do suggest, is that you take the money, and disappear, or someone you love will get hurt."
"Bullshit," I said, and he raised an eyebrow, looking slightly amused. He reached for something under the table, and produced a folder. He slid it in front of me and tapped it once.
''Perhaps you'd like to look in there before you say another word."
Very reluctantly, I flipped open the folder and there were only a few sheets of paper in it, but when I saw the names and addresses of my family, friends, and the other guys in the band, I became very alarmed. I looked up at Ronnie who was watching me with a smile.
"Do we have an understanding?"
I looked at the cheque, the zeros almost smiling at me, too. I was rich, I didn't need the money, but my friends and family were at stake.
"Mr. Way, I said do we have an understanding?"
Once more, I looked at the cheque with all it's zeros. I stood up, grabbed it, and walked out. I didn't even have to turn around to know that Ronnie wore a smug smile. Inside, I was on fire; I had just been defeated.