Dreams, Reality, and Crazy Feelings
“Ok Brooke.” I sat down and she sat down too. “We need to talk.” we both said at the same time. “You first.” she said. Darn it I hate going first. “Ok I’ll admit it. I don’t have as much feelings for Kevin as I thought I would. And I have been noticing that he’s kinda feeling the same way too. I mean we haven’t really done anything together and I just don’t think me and him will work. He’s kinda like a really cute brother to me. Ok so there that’s what I had to say.” I breathed out.
“Oh good you made what I have to say a little bit easier.” she took a deep breath, “Aubrey you know how much I liked Kevin and I tried to be really happy for you but I am really jealous. Not only this but I think I’m really falling for him not just having a crush but really falling for him…” she looked up at me. “Brooke I knew this was gonna happen.” I sighed. “Huh?” she tilted her head. “I knew that Kevin would be like a brother to me. I knew it wouldn’t work but come on he is a Jonas Brother.” I laughed. “Well maybe your right…so would you hate me forever if I put the moves on him after you and him break up?” she smirked. “He’s all yours.” I laughed.
We walked back into the room and brooke went on leaving me and Kevin alone. “Kevin I need to talk to you.” I said as I sat down beside him. “I don’t think this is gonna work out.” I bit my lip, “I just think of you way to much as a brother and not a boyfriend. I mean I feel like I could come to your with anything but I just don’t love you like that.” I sighed. “Me too.” he said and looked straight into my eyes, “I feel the same and I’m glad you brought it up and not me.” we laughed. Well that went a heck of a lot better then I thought it would.
Finally everyone came back. I asked Brooke to tell all of them so that I wouldn’t have to. I know I’m a chicken. They were in slight shock but never said a word and Kevin was completely relaxed. Well this is nice I break up with a guy and everything is ok. How often does that ever happen?
“You guys lunch is ready!” Denise yelled. Joe got up as fast as he could and ran into the kitchen area, tripping on the way. We walked in there and sat down. Paul was driving and eating at the same time. I guess we couldn’t loose any time. “Ok I know its not the best lunch but there is cookies to make up for it.” she smiled and put sandwich stuff on the table. The only thing was all the sandwich stuff looked REALLY good so I didn’t think twice about it being a bad lunch because it wasn’t.
“Hey you cant take that slice of bread that was mine.” Joe frowned at Kevin. “Not anymore.” he licked it. Boys never get mature… We ate lunch laughing and talking. It was odd that my life was getting better I mean things always seemed so bad and now things were looking up. Nick kept glancing up at me. It was making me get red in the face. Having a Jonas Brother look at you was like a torturing heaven because it felt nice but your face got RED.
Denise came in with the cookies. They looked really good so we all just grabbed one. Or in Joes case five. The cookies were really good so I took another one. Finally we were all full and happy. “Lets do something!” Joe sat up all perky. “I don’t want to do anything. I think I’m gonna go take a nap.” I said but really I wanted to write a few things in the notebook I had with me. “fine.”
I walked away and went into my bunk and pulled out a pen and my notebook. I started to write just a small piece. I wrote randomly a lot. Sometimes I would just write what ever thing came to mind and sometimes I would get a song or poem out of it. I heard a couple crashes and wrestling around but I didn’t leave the bunk. Then I heard a movie go on so I didn’t think twice about it.
My bunk curtain pulled back. It was Nick. “Hey Nick what do you need?” I asked looking away from the notebook. “You wanna watch a movie with us?” he asked. “No I think I’m gonna write some more.” I smiled and my pen started on the paper again. “What are you writing?” he asked. “Just whatever comes to mind I guess.” I shrugged my shoulders. “Well can I watch?” he asked another question. “Watch what?” I raised my eyebrow. “You write.” he gave me a smile. “I guess.” I sighed and scooted over so he could get in the bunk.
I kept writing although it was harder now because Nick was so close and it was making me feel odd. “You write a lot?” he asked. “Ya quite a bit songs, stories, poems, you know a bit of everything.” I continued my writing. I was writing just a random description of a landscape. Although the place sounded beautiful.
“So why did you and Kevin break up?” he finally asked the question I knew was gonna come up. “Well I just felt like we were more like brother and sister then boyfriend and girlfriend.” I never looked at him. “So do you feel that way about me and Joe or just Kevin?” he asked another question. What was up with this boy and questions? “I don’t know why do you care?” I finally stopped writing and looked over at him. “Well uh…” he fiddled with is hands.
“Ok I don’t know how I feel about you guys but I just know that is how I feel about Kevin I have only been with you guys like a week and a day.” I said. I mean seriously how am I suppose to know these things. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so rude I just well never mind.” he ran his hand through his gorgeous curls. “You what?” I asked. “I’ll tell you later.” he said and left.
I wonder what that was about? I almost went after him but stopped myself. I kept writing. My hand stopped as I placed the last dot on the page. I ripped it out and folded it up and stuck it in my bag. I was really tired maybe a small nap would clear my head and help me feel better.
Aubrey walked back to her bunk. I knew she wanted some time alone so I didn’t follow. We plugged in a movie and I have no idea what it was because the moment it went in Kevin sat next to me. My heart was beating really fast I know I said I was gonna put the moves on him but it is harder then it looks!
The movie went on I finally figured out what movie we were watching after I looked away from Kevin. We were watching Dawn Of The Dead. Which I had seen before. Kevin was awfully close to me not that I didn’t like it but it was my veins boil!
He apparently seen the expression on my face and got closer to me. “It’s just a movie.” he whispered in my ear. His breath was warm and sent shivers all over my neck. “Ya I know but it still scares me.” I said even though the movie wasn’t scaring me at all it was Kevin being so darn close!
His arm touched mine. Ahh my mind was going crazy. I couldn’t think my mind wouldn’t work all I think about was his arm touching mine and us being so close. My mind was going berserk. I just snapped back to reality right when a zombie killed someone. I jerked. Kevin looked over at me. “You ok?” he asked seeming concerned. “Ya I’m fine it was just I was staring off and right when I came out of it that happened.” I said pointing to the screen. “Oh ok well I was just gonna say if you didn’t wanna watch the movie we could go talk or something.” he spoke again. “Well I have seen this movie before so its kinda boring lets go talk.” I smiled.
We walked away and into the bunk area. I looked in Aubrey’s bunk and she was sound asleep. How cute. She would kill me if she new I thought that! “Well she’s out. What do you wanna talk about?” I asked sitting down on his bunk. “Well I don’t know… I wanna talk about you. Like what you like and stuff.” he slightly mumbled it out rubbing his neck with his hand. “Well I like a lot of stuff but I love to just hang out. I know that sounds boring but just relaxing is nice for me.” I smiled awaiting his response about how boring I was.
“Well that’s fine with me cause I just kinda go with the flow. Whatever we are doing I just kinda go along…unless it was Joe’s idea.” we laughed. “Ya that’s kinda how I am.” I smiled he was so wonderful. A feeling hit my stomach. Then I realized why his hand lightly brushed mine on accident. “Sorry.” he said seeing my face. “No it’s fine I just…it just caught me by surprise.” I smiled weakly. It didn’t just catch me by surprise it knocked the breath right out of me.
We talked a little bit but mostly I just couldn’t quit staring at him. I have had plenty of guys in my life but I don’t think I have ever felt anything like this. What did Aubrey call it…love? Was I in…love? “Well we better get back in there Joe and Nick are wrestling and Dad will yell of anything’s broken and Joe has a tendency to brake things.” he said with a light laugh and we walked back in with Nick and Joe.