When I woke up I was left to do what I do almost every morning. Pick myself up and face the day. I struggled to my feet, my head was pounding and my hand hurt from where it had been stamped on. All my bones were aching and I felt like I was about to be sick. I stumbled through to the kitchen where I took my usual place beside the cuboard that held the first aid box. I covered the cut on my forehead with a square plaster, luckily my fringe covered it. I bandaged my hand and took some painkillers. I stayed slumped by the cuboard for a while, despite being passed out for most of the night I was still tired. I closed my eyes and sighed. Would today be any different to every other day? Was this how I was going to live forever? I knew I should leave, I should get away because Luke wasnt going to change but I couldnt bring myself to do it. Because through everything I really did love him.
After a while I heard him walking downstairs, I quickly struggled to my feet and sat down at the table. Snatching an apple out of the fruit bowl to try and look natural. I took a small bite out of it and was just chewing on it when Luke walked in. He didnt so much as look at me as he got a coffee and sat down. "How are you this morning?" He asked coldly. I swallowed the bit of apple and mumbled. "Fine". He nodded and looked down at his coffee.
"Good. I want you to do something for me today" He said. I didnt reply, waiting for him to continue. "I want you to ring that guy up and tell him you cant see him again." He said. My jaw dropped. "Who? Billy!?" I cried, he glared at me and nodded.
"Yes" He snarled.
"But. He's my best friend!" I cried. Luke sprung to his feet, slamming his hands onto the table he leaned forward and glared at me. "I - I'll do it!" I squeaked.
"You better" He snarled before hitting his cup so that it fell onto the floor and shattered, coffee going everywhere. "And clean that up!" He ordered before storming out. I was left feeling hollow. He would know if I didnt ring Billy, he'd check the phone to see if I had called anyone. He'd make sure I did it. I swallowed back my tears, throwing away the apple and finding some stuff to clean the coffee up with.
I was walking to the living room when Luke cornered me. He raised his hand and I flinched as he brought it down, but he didnt hit me as I had expected, instead he gently ran his hand down the side of my face. I looked at him with wide, fearful eyes as he raised his other hand and began to caress the other side of my face. "I dont mean to hurt you..." He whispered. I continued to stare up at him, tears in my eyes. "I love you Alex. I hate hurting you but you have to be taught a lesson when you do things wrong." He said, his voice soft and gentle. I swallowed hard and watched him looking down at me with concern in his eyes. He took my bandaged hand and looked at it. "Is it okay?" He asked, pressing his fingers down too hard on it, I gave a pained gasp and he grabbed my wrist to prevent me from pulling it back. "Sorry, I didnt mean to hurt you" He said quickly, he raised my hand to his lips and gently kissed it. "I didnt break it did I?" He asked, looking at me with such concern it made me remember why I loved him. "N - no. I dont think so" I whispered. He smiled, but his smile faded when he must have caught a spot of white beneath my fringe. He brushed my fringe back and looked at the plaster. He touched it gently with two fingers and gave a pained smile. "The cuts not deep is it?" He asked.
"No" I answered. He looked me up and down and realised I hadnt changed.
"Havent you had chance to shower yet?" He asked. I shook my head.
"I - I was just going to ring Billy like you asked." I mumbled, he smiled at me and without so much as a word he scooped me up into his arms bridal style and gently kissed my forehead. "No no, have a shower first. It will make you feel better." He said, it was almost like he could tell how much my body was aching as he took slow and gentle steps, carrying me upstairs to the bathroom. "Why dont you take a bath? Nice and relaxing" He offered.
"I - I dont mind" I mumbled. He opened the door to the bathroom and sat me down on the toilet seat. He then began to run a bath, even adding some of the expensive bath oils which were his. As the bath was filling up he beckoned for me to stand up. I did so and walked over to him in the centre of the bathroom. "I really do love you" He whispered as he began to unbutton my shirt. I didnt answer, it had been a while since he had been so nice to me. Once all the buttons were undone he gently pushed the fabric and watched it slip off my shoulders to the floor. He gasped when he saw my torso, it made me feel self concous and I tried to cover myself with my arms. "No. Let me look" He whispered, gently pulling my arms away. His eyes filled with hurt and guilt when he saw all the bumps, bruises and scars. "I...I did all this..." He breathed. I nodded slowly. It had been so long since we had seen eachother without all our clothes on that he hadnt realised how bad it was. He took a step closer to me, closing the gap between us. "Oh babe I'm so sorry" He whispered, tears in his eyes. I looked away.
"I - it doesnt matter" I mumbled. He placed a finger under my chin and lifted my face up to look at him.
"Yes. Yes it does matter." He said and then he leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to mine. Cupping my face in his hands he worked his lips against mine. Slowly he dragged his lips down my jawline, to my neck and then down to my chest. He gently licked and kissed every cut, bruise and scar. Holding my hips with his hands. I bowed my head and sighed as he worked lower, taking his time as if he was trying to heal all the damage he had caused. Once he reached my hips he worked back up again until he reached my lips and he pulled me into a deep kiss, hugging my body close to his as his tongue began licking my bottom lip. Begging for entrance. I parted my lips and his tongue snaked round mine, I wrapped my arms around him, it had been so long since we had kissed like this. Since I had tasted him. I loved him so much, and things like this made me feel relieved that I hadnt left him. He pulled back and nuzzled his face into the cruck of my neck. Planting a few kisses as he unzipped and unbuttoned my jeans. Slowly pulling them down my legs until I could step out of them. The bath was half full and he felt the water, checking the temperature. He seemed satisfied and he turned back to me, pulling off my boxer shorts until I was naked before him. He hugged me and kissed my cheek. "Take a bath and relax. Be as long as you like" He whispered and then he left the bathroom. For a moment I just stared at the closed door, slightly confused. He beat me a lot, but never had he really shown any sign of regret or apologised for it. It made my heart swell with love for him and I just wanted to hold him and kiss him.
I turned to look at the bath which was still filling, I walked over to it and slowly sank into the warm water. Sighing with relief as it soothed my aching body. I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of the running water from the taps. I tipped my head back and felt sleep coming over me. I knew it was dangerous to fall asleep in the bath but I just didnt care. 'I'll just rest my eyes' I thought to myself, savouring the feeling of the warm water on my bruised body. I crossed my hands on my stomach and smiled to myself. I could just sit in here all day. I absent mindedly flicked the top of my tail making the water gently swirl about. The smell of the bath oils was sweet and relaxing and soon I had fallen asleep.
When I woke up I saw Billy, sat on the edge of the bath, grinning at me. I gasped and covered my most private areas with my hands. "Billy! What are you doing here!?" I cried. "I came to see how you were, you left the club in such a hurry last night I didnt get chance to really talk to you" He said.
"Well. Do you mind waiting outside a moment, its just this is kinda awkward..." I said. Billy leaned foreward.
"Why dont I improve the situation?" He whispered, I raised an eyebrow and then without a warning he had grabbed my face and was passionately kissing me. My eyes were wide writh shock, what the hell were we doing? Suddenly the bathroom door banged open and Luke stormed in. I pulled away from Billy with such force he fell off the edge of the bath. "Luke! I - I can explain!" I cried.
"Save it!" He snarled, he grabbed Billy and threw him at the wall. His skull cracked and he lay slumped on the floor, blood pumping out of his head.
"BILLY! NO!!" I shouted, tears poured from my eyes. Luke turned to me, eyes flaming and fists clenched.
"I BET YOU LOVED HIM DIDNT YOU! YOU FUCKING MANWHORE!" He shouted, crossing over to me.
"Luke no! Please Luke let me explain!" I cried, he ignored me as he shoved my shoulders down so that I went under the water. He kept his hands on my shoulders, preventing me from sitting up. My eyes were wide and I struggled to get up, I opened my mouth to scream and water filled my lungs. I tried to cough, but it just made me inhale more water. Bubbles erupted from my mouth, I couldnt sit up, I couldnt cough, I couldnt breathe. I was drowning.
My eyes snapped open, I took a huge gasp for air - it had been a dream. But water still filled my lungs, and my gasp had made it worse. It had been a dream but as I slept I had slipped under the water and now I was drowning. I tried to yell out and I flung myself upwards, sending water everywhere. I slumped over the edge of the bath so that only my legs remained in the water, the top half of my body was dangling over the edge of the bathtub as I coughed and spluttered, water shot up my throat and onto the floor as I coughed. Choking and struggling to breathe. I could have drowned. I could have died. I wrapped my arms round my body as my energy left me, I slumped back against the wall and took deep shuddering breaths. There was a loud knock on the door and I heard Luke shouting from the other side. "ALEX! ALEX ARE YOU OKAY!?" I turned the taps off but I was too out of breath to answer. "ALEX!?" Luke opened the door and rushed to the bathroom, he looked at me slumped against the wall, my fox ears flattened down, my eyes half open and mouth wide as I panted. He looked at the water all over the floor. "Alex. What happened?" He asked.
"I...dream....drowning..." I gasped, he walked across the floor and pulled me out of the bath, for a moment I thought he was angry and was going to hurt me and I was about to raise my arms in defence, but he didnt hurt me. Instead he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my shaking body before holding me close in his arms. "I heard the water going over the floor and I heard you yelling. I was so scared." He whispered, rubbing my back through the towel. I laid my head on his shoulder and began to sob. I dont know what made me, maybe it was fear and shock from almost drowning, maybe it was the horrible dream, maybe it was overwhelming how kind he was being all of a sudden...maybe it was all those things. All I know is all of a sudden my eyes welled up and I couldnt hold back my tears and I was sobbing and gasping like my heart had just broken. "Alex? Hey! Come on now babe, whats wrong?" Luke asked, pulling back to look at me with concern. I couldnt answer him I just continued to sob. "Alex sweetie dont cry" He begged, pulling me back into a hug. I clung to him as if he was my life support, I dug my fingertips into his back and pressed my body into his. I needed him. I needed him to hold me and care for me like he used to all those years ago before the beating began. "Alex?" He sounded confused, upset, concerned. His voice was small and next thing I knew he was picking me up and leaving the bathroom. He walked into the bedroom. The bed had been made, that was usually my job...even if I hadnt slept in it because I had been passed out downstairs. He pulled the sheets back sat me down on the edge of the bed. He sat down next to me and put his arm round me. "Alex what happened?" He asked. I fought with my tears for a moment before choking out - "I...I fell asleep and I had a bad dream and when I woke up I couldnt breathe and the water was in my lungs and I was choking and drowning and dieing and and -" The tears took over and Luke pulled me back into his embrace.
"Shh, its okay. Your fine now, its okay, I'm here." He soothed. "Didnt you get any sleep last night?" He asked. I shook my head.
"I...I blacked out when I hit the wall and when I came round it was morning" I whispered. Luke sighed and held me tighter.
"Its all my fault stuff like this keeps happening...I will change Alex, really I will." He promised. I just nodded into his shoulder. He had given me the same promise a hundred times and each time I ended up believing him. He got up and walked over to my chest of drawers, he took out some boxers and walked back over to me. "I'll go clean up the bathroom. You should get some sleep, you look exhausted." He said. I took the boxers off him and nodded, rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand. He leaned forward and kissed my cheek, his lips lingering there for a moment before he pulled back and smiled at me. Then he turned and left the room. I took a deep breath and dried my body, wincing at some of the bruises that still hurt, then I pulled on the boxer shorts and crawled into the double bed. I pulled the covers right up to my chin and closed my eyes but I couldnt sleep. I felt lonely, lying in this big bed with no one beside me.
I tried to sleep for the hour Luke was in the bathroom but it just wasnt happening. I was tired but I felt uncomfortable and small and lonely and swamped in this bed. I heard Luke come into the room and I opened my eyes. He smiled at me. "Havent you slept yet?" He asked.
"I cant sleep" I replied. He looked concerned and walked over to me. He knelt down beside the bed and felt my forehead. "Do you feel ill? Do you want me to get you a drink or anything?" He asked, getting to his feet and turning to leave. "No!" I cried, I grabbed the bottom of his shirt and he stopped and looked at me, one eyebrow raised. "Please...W - Will you...lie with me for a bit..." I mumbled. He smiled and pulled his shirt off, followed by his jeans so that he too was only in his boxers then beckoned me to shuffled up. Which I did. Then he climbed into bed with me and pulled the covers back up. "T - thanks" I mumbled. He smiled and placed a hand on my cheek.
"No problem" He whispered, he leaned foreward and gently kissed my lips before placing his arm round my waist and pulling me into him. He wrapped both arms round my waist and I wrapped my arms round his shoulders. I'm a head shorter than him so I rested my head on the top of his chest and he rested his chin on the top of my head. I fell asleep wrapped in his warm arms.
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