Knock me down to help me up
Yeah, sex will be in this chapter.
"Wheres my angel!?" I heard Luke call. I was stood looking in the full length bedroom mirror, making sure I looked okay. The door opened and Luke bounded over, sweeping me into his arms and kissing my forhead. "Hey there baby, you look amazing." He smiled. I looked down at my jeans and long sleeved red shirt.
"Err...thanks." I said, almost questioned. He was in a good mood. "You look gorgouse too." I added, he was wearing black jeans and a black shirt.
"Aw, thanks baby." He smiled, gently kissing me. "You ready to go?" He asked. I nodded and his fingers laced with mine as he pulled out of the room. "I'm taking you to that new resturaunt, remember me telling you about it?" He asked.
"Yeah." I didnt have a clue what he was on about.
The resturaunt was posh, and filled with posh couples. I didnt like it but Luke seemed to enjoy it, he kept me against him tightly as if he was flaunting a piece of jewellry. He requested a 'private' table and we were taken to a corner table. "So, did you get up to much today?" Luke asked once we had ordered. I shook my head, a lump rising in my throat and I prayed that he didnt see I was lieing. "Listen sugar. Theres a reason I asked you here tonight... we've been living together for so long now and you've become like my best friend aswell as my lover. I know we've had some bad times... well okay, a lot of bad times. But we've had some great times too - " I turned my head, staring off into space as he went off some big speech I guessed would end with me being dumped. But for some reason I just didnt care. Luke continued talking, going on about how much he cared about me but my attention was already gone...
"Alex... Alex. ALEX!" I snapped to attention and looked at him. He looked angry and my heart began to hammer. "Well. I guess the answers no then isnt it?" He snapped. I raised an eyebrow. "What question?" I asked. Luke threw his napkin down and pulled me off my chair, dragging me towards the door, his hand squeezing my hurt fingers tight. "We're leaving." He snarled, couples turned to watch us with curious expressions but he was oblivious. I had done something wrong. I just couldnt figure out what it was. In the car park I tried to pull away, and he turned on me. "Luke, whats going on?" I cried. He shoved me hard, causing me to stumble and nearly fall.
"Shows a lot doesnt it? When you dont even listen to me as I propose!" He shouted. A look of horror came across my face. He smirked, a sick, angry smirk. "Thats right angel. I just asked you to marry me, so glad you've caught on." I took a step backwards as he raised his fist. "So who were you thinking about baby? Was it that fucker Billy? Hm, come on. Do share." He spat. I shook my head, taking slow steps backwards as he walked towards me.
"No I... I wasnt thinking anything Luke. Please. I'm sorry, please Luke -" I was silenced by a sharp slap to the face. My head snapped to the side and I closed my eyes, to used to this all by now. "Please." I whispered.
"I bet you've said that to him havent you? Only when you said it you were on his bed werent you? DONT FUCKING LIE!" He shouted. I looked at him with hurt eyes and he pushed me to the ground. "I've never been with him Luke. I love you." I whimpered.
"LIES!" He snarled. I felt a kick to my ribs, and then he stamped on my already bandaged hand. Stamping and stamping. I knew he was making sure this time it broke. "All you ever fucking do is LIE!" He shouted. A kick to the head and then he straddled me, his long black hair tickling my cheeks as he leaned over me. "Fucking get your stuff and leave. I dont want you living with me anymore." He spat in my face and then stormed off to the car, leaving me lying in the car park tears on my cheeks.
I stumbled home, part of me wanted burst through the door and grab hold of him, to cry and beg him to take me back. Make him see how sorry I was and how much I loved him. Another part of me wanted to storm into the house and kill him, punch and kick, slap and bite, scratch him until he bled and make him feel the pain he had caused me. But the biggest part of me wanted to run, get as far away from the house as possible. To not get my stuff but to just run now, leave him waiting for me to return for the rest of eternity. But then that small part of me that made me go back to the house, intent on getting my stuff and leaving as quietly as possible was the part that won.
I guess it was the part of me Luke still controlled.
When I reached the doorstep I stopped, unsure whether to knock or not. It seemed like a stupid thing to be wondering about, after all this was my home. Our home. But I didnt feel like I was a part of it anymore. I felt like I was trespassing by being here, but then just as I was about to turn and leave the door opened. "Glad you finally made it.I was beginning to think you'd pissed off to that cunts house." Luke spat, I knew he was talking about Billy and his words made me flinch. He stood glaring at me with his hand on the door frame. He had no shirt on and his black jeans were low on his hips, exposing much of his midriff and hip bones. I noticed now how toned he really was, his stomach rippled with muscles and arms strong. It was the kind of muscles I liked, small enough to barely be noticed when hidden by clothes unlike steroid infested things. But this was no time to be noticing such things, shakily I allowed my eyes to lock onto his as I gulped.
"I - I just took a while to get here is all." I stammered. He snorted and stood aside, gingerly I stepped into the house and he slammed the door shut behind me. It was impossible for me to ignore the feeling of fear churning in my stomach as I looked about it, this house was no longer home and the man behind me was not the caring person I thought he was. Yet I still couldnt bring myself to say I didnt love him. Because the painful thing was, I still did.
"Dont just stand their Alex. Get your things and leave." He snarled. I jolted into action and hurried up the stairs, ignoring the pain in my limbs from the beating in the car park, and the pain in my chest from the beating of my heart. To my surprise he didnt follow me, but walked into the living room as I went up the stairs.
Once I reached our bedroom I stopped and closed the door softly, tears pricking my eyes as I looked round the room. We had had good times in here, especially in the first few weeks. I had felt then like I could never be more in love. All the play fights and laughter, the movies in bed and breakfast in bed seemed like so long ago. All those times of making love, not sex like we had now but actually making love - it was like it had all been a dream. I sniffed and walked over to the bed, slowly I lay down on my side and closed my eyes. Trying to hold in my tears as I took deep calming breaths, running my fingers over the silky sheets savouring how they felt before I would have to leave. I gently rolled over to Lukes side and the overwhelming urge to cry took over me once more as I held his pillow and smelt him on it. It was the smell of his cherry shampoo, and then as I slid down the bed I would smell aftershave from where it would linger on his neck when he slept, then as I went down further I would smell that delicious mix of expensive deodrant and showergel, mingled with the smell of him. The smell that was Luke. Tears ran down my cheeks as I breathed in the heavenly scent, wishing I wasnt doing this just to lock in my memories of him before I left. I so badly wanted to stay, despite everything and the utter hatred I knew I felt deep down, I wanted him, needed him and craved for his love more than anything.
It was a few minutes before I slowly slipped off the bed and crawled beneath it to claim my suitcase. I dumped it onto the quilt as I brushed away my tears, opening it and then going over to my draws and pulling out the clothes in them. I layed them out in the suitcase and then went over to the wardrobe. Picking through the clothes to find the items that were mine. I had most of them slung over my arm and was reaching for the last few pairs of jeans when I felt strong arms wrapping round my waist. I tensed and my breath hitched in my throat. His breath was hot on my fox ears, that warm black hair falling on either side of our faces, hiding us from the world.
"Talk to me Alex. Say something." He demanded his teeth nibbling on my fox ears. I faltered, unsure of what he wanted to hear.
"I - I love you Luke. I really do, I know you dont believe me but its so true and it hurts to know you think its a lie." His nibbling became softer, and he pulled me a tiny bit closer to him. So I continued. "In the resturaunt, when you proposed - I'm so sorry that I wasnt listening. I was just overwhelmed by the atmosphere, I've never been anywhere so posh and I havent left the house in so long before the other night and I was just confused and regaining my bearings. I wasnt thinking about Billy I really wasnt. Why would I think of him when I have you?" This seemed to have a good effect and his teeth released my fox ears and he moved his face down to my human ears, softly kissing the sensitive flesh directly below them. I melted into his arms and closed my eyes as I carried on talking. "Your the only person I've ever wanted Luke. And I dont think I could ever forgive myself for what I did tonight, if only I could turn back time. I would have forgotten how out of deph I felt in that resturaunt and just would have given my full attention to you, to melt into your eyes and let your kissable lips say all those things to me and I this time I would listen, and when you asked me this time I would answer you. And then I wouldnt be about to pack up my things and leave the one person I need most in this world because of some stupid mistake -" I choked on a sob and clamped a hand over my mouth, trying to regain control as I shook against him - hot tears dripping down my cheeks as I cryed. Luke stopped his kissing and turned me round, I closed my eyes tight not wanting to see him looking at me as I sobbed, but his touch was gentle as he wiped away my tears with the pad of his thumb. He hushed me and kissed my forehead as he held me tight against him, waiting for me to calm down.
"Shh Alex, dont cry like this." He whispered. He rocked me side to side as I swallowed down the rest of my tears and roughly brushed them off my cheeks with the palm of my hands. When I looked at him he was smiling slightly. He took hold of the top of my arms and looked me directly in the eyes.
"I know your sorry Alex but I just dont think I can forgive you that easily." I managed to hold back from crying again and nodded stiffly. "But I know that in time I may be able to truly forgive you. And because I love you I'm willing to take the time for us to acheive that, because I know in time we can go back to our full trust in eachother." My body relaxed with releif and I managed to breath a small thankyou before embracing him, desperately clinging to him as if he was my life support. His hands slipped round my waist and his lips latched onto my neck, suckling on the flesh there. Marking me as his. I ran my hands down his naked back, feeling the hard muscles beneath the soft skin. He began pushing me towards the bed, the clothes that had been over my arm now on the floor. The suitcase soon following with one sweep of Lukes arm. He pushed me onto the bed and began feircely kissing me with renewed heated passion. I felt emotionally drained and just wanted to sleep, but the last thing I wanted to do was anger him again so I lay back and tried to keep up with the clashing of his tongue against mine. He spread my thighs and nestled himself between my legs, breaking the kiss to remove my shirt before once more sealing my mouth with his own. He fumbled with my belt, whipping it off in one swift movement before doing the same with his. Jeans were kicked off, socks going with them and then his arms were around me, holding me tight as he worked his lips against mine, grinding his hips against mine with nothing but two pairs of boxers in the way. But apparently that was two pairs too much and Luke pulled off my pair, gazing down at my naked form as he pulled of his own. "Your so beautiful Alex, I've always thought that." He whispered, hovering over me and looking me in the eyes as I flushed pink. He laughed at my blushing and began kissing me once more, I wrapped my arms round his neck, stroking his long black hair and gently stroking his sensitive panther ears. He ran his hand softly down my chest, slowly getting lower and lower before gently gripping my semi and stroking it into its full length. I couldnt help but groan with pleasure into his mouth, feeling him smirk against my lips. He continued stroking me as he pulled back from my lips to start kissing my neck, nipping the skin and marking me again. But I didnt feel like I would be going out in public again soon so it didnt really matter. His lips trailed up from my neck to my jaw, leaving a trail of butterfly kisses to my mouth as he once more began kissing me passionately, his hand leaving my now full erection to root around in the bedside cabinet. I heard him place the condom onto the side of the bed and snap the lid of the lube open. I felt butterflies in my stomach even though I knew we had done this before, it was just that we hadnt done it in a while. But my nerves left when I felt one well lubed finger rubbing against my entrance, Luke pulled away from my lips and rested his forehead against mine. "Relax baby, I'm not going to hurt you. I want to make you feel sooo good." He whispered, I gripped the back of his shoulders and relaxed as he slowly worked his finger past the tight ring of muscle. I sighed into his hair as he moved his finger in and out of me, slowly adding a second finger, thrusting them and scissoring them. With the thrid finger I felt the stretch but Luke felt me tense and slowed his movement, taking his time to keep me comfortable. It was a moment before I told him I was ready and my heart hammered in my chest as he pulled his fingers away, softly kissing me as he sorted out the condom and lube. I wasnt afraid, I was just excited and nervous because of how things had swiftly been turned from anger and beating and me leaving to... this. I felt the tip of his member at my entrance and I clung to his shoulders as he slowly pushed into me, kissing me the whole way. I adjusted to him quickly, and he managed to pull out and thrust back in almost instantly. I let my head fall back and my legs wrap round his waist as he began thrusting slowly against me, our hips knocking gently.He looked me deep in my eyes as he moved, staring into my icy blues as if he was searching my soul. But then his lips were kissing my shoulder and my eyes closed. His movements became faster, thrusting into me with new found speed. I heard him groaning into my shoulder as he moved faster still, pushing himself deeper into me, friction building between our hips. I gave a breathy moan and rose my hips every time he pushed his down, creating a rhythm with him. His hands moved down to grab my hips, his upper body arching back as he threw his head back to moan at the ceiling, he pulled me down onto him as he thrust into me, driving deep into me and hitting that spot that made me moan loudly as I arched against him. "Agh Luke... Oh shit...Luke..." I gasped and clawed at his back, he moaned my name and moved faster than I ever thought he could go. I was overwhelmed with pleasure and as his hand wrapped round my leaking member I gasped and bucked against him, his fingertips playing with the head of my cock before pumping it in time to his thrusts. Our body heat mixed causing beads of sweat to appear on our foreheads, dripping down our bodies. Luke began repeatingly thrusting into my prostate and I knew I couldnt hold on much longer, I deliberately began clenching my abdominal muscles to work him into his own release. He fell back down so our chests met and I cupped his face in my hands as I kissed him, slipping my tongue into his mouth and tasting his sweet flavour. Our rhythm became lost as the bucking of my hips and his thrusts lost all timing, becoming wild and needy as our climaxs approached. I cried out his name as he slammed particularly hard into that special spot, squeezing my cock and making me come hard into his hand and across our chests. I moaned into his mouth and felt myself clenching like a vice around him, that was his release and he gave one last desperate thrust before coming inside of me crying out my name as he did. He rolled his hips against mine, drawing out our orgasms until we both collapsed against the sheets.
We panted and tried to regain our breath as Luke pulled the duvet up over us, he then pulled me close to him quickly kissing the top of my head. After a while I slipped my arms round him and closed my eyes with a yawn. "I love you baby." I whispered.
But either he didnt answer, or I fell asleep before he did.
A/N: So people let me know what you think. Reveiws - good, bad or whatever are all appreciated :]