One shot. Gerard loves Frank, but by the time he tells him it may be too late.
I stomped up the stairs to Gerard’s house, late as usual. Alcohol hung heavy on my breath and my steps were wobbly. I knew Gerard was going to be upset, I was supposed to be at Ray’s birthday party over two hours ago. Whatever. I sighed as I pushed open the door, I’ll apologize later. Loud music and the buzz of chatter filled my brain instantly as I stepped inside. I put my gloved hands over my ears in an attempt to block out the incessant sounds, but I failed miserably. I scanned the crowded room, noticing Ray and Bob having a conversation in the corner, Mikey was asleep on the couch, but no Gerard. Maybe I’m off the hook. But my luck didn’t last, just as I tried to blend in with the crowd, Gerard walked down the stairs. He stopped in surprise when he saw me, but he recovered quickly and continued down with a determined look on his face. My head dropped down and I slunk over to an unoccupied chair. I was in so much trouble. Gerard found me almost as soon as I had sat down. His face was a mixture of frustration and pain. I sunk deeper in my chair in a futile attempt to avoid him.
“Frank where have you been?” Gerard demanded.
“Around with some friends,” I shrugged.
“Again Frank,” he sighed. “Is hanging with them so important that you blow me off?”
“You know I love you,” I joked, leaning in to try to kiss Gerard, but he pushed me back down.
“You’ve been drinking again, you only tease me like this when you’re drunk. I hate it!” Anger lit Gerard’s eyes, but his face softened and he took my hand. “You promised me that you stopped.”
Why does he always question me like I’m a criminal? It’s none of his business and I’ve had enough.
“Just leave me alone Gerard!” I screamed. “I don’t need to answer to you.”
“But Frankie,” Gerard’s voice became thick with tears.
“You have to reason no worry about me, I can take care of myself.” I shoved him out of the way.
“You want to know why I care Frank?” He whispered. “I love you.” I turned around slowly.
“What did you say?” I gasped.
“I said I fucking love you but you don’t give a fuck so get the fuck out of my house!”
“I stood there with my mouth open but Gerard had already disappeared into the crowd, wiping his tears away. I debated going after him, after all I have a crush on Gerard, actually I think I’ve loved him ever since the first day I saw him. I never thought he felt the same. I decided to let him cool down for a little, and I also wanted a cigarette. I stumbled outside, groping in my pocket for a lighter. I lit my cigarette and began to walk, almost unaware of what I was doing. I always walked when I was thinking.
So Gerard loved me, I almost couldn’t believe it. After all these years, after all the kisses that I stole on the stage, he tells me now. I think I was too drunk to comprehend it. I stopped walking and took a deep drag on my cigarette. But now he probably hates me, I need to go tell him I’m sorry. I turned around to head back the way I had come, when I realized that I was lost. Oh shit. I sobered up instantly. Getting lost in New Jersey was dangerous, especially in this part of town. I headed down a street that looked familiar, and immediately regretted the decision. Three thugs in scruffy clothes were leaning against an old broken down building, looking for trouble. One was very tall, one had a beard, and the third one just looked plain mean. I spun around quickly, hoping they hadn’t spotted me, but it was too late.
“Hey you!” the tall one called. I panicked and ran; oblivious to which direction I was headed. I just wanted to get away from here. They overtook me in less then a minute. Being five feet four does have its disadvantages.
“Give me your money,” the bearded man threatened me. The scent of alcohol wafted into my nostrils, and I gagged and backed away. So that’s what I smell like.
“I don’t have any!” I cried, trying to crawl away. The third one pinned me down harshly and I winced in pain.
“Well I’ll just check for you,” he grinned and punched me in the stomach. I let out a yelp, which he silenced with a fist to the side of my head.
“Stop it,” I whimpered. I struggled to get up but one of them kneed me in the chest and I hit the sidewalk hard. Usually I’m a decent fighter, but three against one was too much for me. I squeezed me eyes shut, preparing for the next blow, but it never came. I felt the weight of the thug thrown off me, and then they were screaming for mercy instead of me. I opened my eyes to find out who my savior was, and there was Gerard, Ray, and Bob, beating the shit out of the thugs. I breathed a sigh of relief; I didn’t even stop to think about how they found me. I dragged myself to my feet, preparing to help, when I stopped dead in my tracks and gasped with horror.
“Gerard look out!” I yelled, but my voice failed me. It was too late. The tall thug had pulled out a slender knife and, before Gerard could react, he shoved the silver blade into his side. Gerard gasped in shock and looked down at his wound. The tall thug grinned and yanked out the blade, but he was instantly jumped by Ray and Bob. Gerard stumbled to the sidewalk, then his body gave out and he fell, almost in slow motion.
“No!” I heard a voice scream, surprised that it was my own. I rushed to Gerard’s side, ignoring the fight still raging around me. I reached my love and craddled his head in my lap, there was blood in his hair from where his head had hit the sidewalk. I took my shirt off, and tried to staunch the steady stream of blood flowing from Gerard’s side. He was gasping for air, like there wasn’t enough oxygen in the alley. Even with my t-shirt over the wound, sticky crimson blood had soaked, all over the alley, my hands, and my shirt.
“Frank,” Gerard whispered. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t you dare say that,” I wept. “This is all my fault. I’m the one who is sorry. You are perfect. You’ve always been there for me, like right now, and I have never thanked you. I’m so sorry for everything that I have done to you. Now you’re hurt and it’s all my fault.”
“Frank I can’t breathe,” Gerard moaned, holding his side. Oh no. The blade punctured his lung. The realization hit me like a weight, Gerard is going to die. No, I won’t let him.
“Gerard,” I nudged him, “stay with me. You have to hold on. You can’t leave me. I love you more then life itself, I always have, and I always will. So you have to be okay so I can make it all up to you.”
Gerard’s eyes filled with tears of happiness and pain.
“I never knew that you cared,” Gerard smiled. “I think I feel okay about dying, as long as you love me.”
“No I won’t let you.” I sensed Ray and Bob come up behind me. Bob was holding a gun that he had taken from one of the thugs. Yet they were nothing to me right now, only Gerard mattered.
“Tell Mikey that I love him,” Gerard groaned. He closed his eyes and his breathing became shallow.
“No Gerard no!” I screamed. “I can’t lose you now. I want to live with you and be happy together. It can’t end like this. Please stay for me!”
“I’m sorry Frankie,” he gasped. “Just remember that I’ll always love you.” Then he shuddered violently and coughed up a large amount of blood. His eyes closed and his last agonizing breath left his broken body.
“No,” I cried again. “This is all my fault. Why now?” The emotions overwhelmed me and all I wanted was to be with Gerard. This world no longer held any promise, any meaning, without Gerard. I spun around and grabbed the gun from Bob.
“I’m sorry guys,” I breathed. “Please forgive me.”
“Wait stop!” Ray yelled, but my mind was made up and my finger pulled the trigger. Blackness consumed me as my body fell to the bloody concrete. Now my soul ws free to fly straight into Gerard’s waiting arms.
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