Because he doesn't care about you.
Something in my mind whispered maliciously.
"Shut up, that isn't true." I whispered back out loud.
Oh you know it is. You're just a sex toy to him. Mikey's the one who really loved you.
"No. Gerard wants to take care of me. He just slips up sometimes." I whispered furiously into the cark, no longer caring if I woke Nathan.
Did Mikey ever slip up?
My mind burned the words into me. I shuddered and retorted "Shut up. Go away. You're wrong."
No, you are. And you know you are. That's why you're so afraid of me.
I shook my head furiously "Mikey kissed that girl. Mikey left me." I argued defensively.
Like he had a choice. Can't you see, you silly girl? His excuse for leaving was the exact same as your was for sleeping with his brother.
Those words, even if only imaginary, hit me like a sack of bricks. A tear ran down my cheek.
Oh, and you're forgetting that dear Gerard SLEPT with another woman.
"He was... He was drunk. He..." I stuttered, my voice breaking.
You're running out of excuses, Adrienne. You know very well that Mikey is the one for you, however much you try to convince yourself otherwise. You wanted him more all along, but you thought you could have both, didn't you? And you were wrong, weren't you? So now you're stuck with Gerard. Gerard, who doesn't need anyone. Gerard who murdered your family. Gerard who you will NEVER EVER be safe with!
"No! You're wrong! You..." I stammered. I no longer remembered or cared where I was or who was sleeping above, or in a 10 mile radius. My breathing got fast as I struggled underneath the tape.
Yes! Yes Adrienne, Yes!
The voice echoed in my brain. I screamed and struggled. "NO!" I shrieked, squirming and jerking my limbs.
And now he hates everything about you, and you'll never get him back.
"Go AWAY!" I screeched one final time before I collapsed and sweet, merciful blackness came for me.
I drifted in and out of dreams. As soon as one would end another would begin. I knew I was dreaming but couldn't wake up. I dreamt Gerard was in bed with Courtney, who was quite alive, but all burnt and black with a noose around her neck.
I dreamt that Mikey was choking me, and all sorts of horrible things only found in nightmares
I dreamed longingly and desperately of a time gone by, when I didn't know what fear was, torture and tears weren't apart of my day to day life.
My eyes snapped open. I was in my bed, under covers, while a pair of bright hazel eyes gleamed overhead. "Mikey..." I whispered. He said nothing, and my arms reached up and flailed blindly, to touch him and soak him in. He flinched nervously under my touch. Was that stupid voice right? I jerked my hand away as though he was as hot as fire. He reached down to stroke hair from my forehead, which I could feel was hot and sweaty. "You're running a fever." he murmured. "You'll have to stay here. Don't worry, I'll look after you." I didn't reply. Again, I drifted into sleep. But no dreams plagued me this time. I couldn't stay asleep for too long at a time before waking up, hot, panting and sweaty. I tried to keep my heavy eyelids open, and found myself to tired to utter one word. I tried to keep my eyes shut and keep up the pretence of sleep while Mikey was around. I admired my own self control, and stopped myself from trying. This small flicker of happiness didn't last long in my hazy thoughts.
Finally, when I could hold it no longer, I opened my eyes and choked out "Why are you here?" He raised his eyebrows "You'd rather be taped to the couch still?" I shook my head "No, but why?" He adjusted his glasses and said calmly "Well, you were left tied up to the couch with nothing to keep you warm, there was a risk you'd become dehydrated, you were alone with a potentially dangerous victim, and you appeared to be hallucinating." My eyes widened. "Don't worry, just go back to sleep." I lay my head on the pillow and he walked out. I waited a few minutes before standing up to leave and take a shower... And find Gerard. But as soon as I had stood up, I felt so dizzy I had to fall back to the bed. Mikey walked back in, looking concerned. "Why are you sitting up?" I shrugged as he gently pushed me down by my shoulders. "Mikey, I'm fine. I was a little tired and upset last night, and I needed a good sleep." Mikey looked at me sadly. "Adrienne, that was 5 days ago. It's Thursday." My jaw dropped. "Huh?" I stammered. "You were asleep for over a week, baby." I cringed. "I wanted to take you to a hospital, but Gerard said we couldn't risk it." Gerard knew I was sick, but wasn't at my bedside, and wouldn't even let me go to a hospital. I felt a lump rise in the back of my throat and my eyes prickled with tears. Soon I was crying and heaving into a bucket Mikey provided, and he kindly held my hair as I threw up violent,y sputtering and choking on my sobs. Once I'd finished, He took the bucket away and returned with a glass of cold water and a damp towel. "Thank you." I croaked before sipping the cool water gratefully, and staring up at Mikey. Not long ago, this man had only wanted to cause harm to me. He left me in a cellar for dead. I shivered and finished my water. Could I trust him? I'd have to decide soon. Maybe he wasn't yet ready to forgive me but was just helping me because he had to. But if this was so why did he speak his brother's name with daggers in his voice. Mikey had deinitely changed, in alot of ways. I had to decide whether I could have him back in my life; in my heart. I heard voices and banging downstairs and Mikey nodded at me before walking out. A few minutes later Gerard ambled in, looking like the kid who broke a window while playing baseball inside the house after his mother had warned him not to. It reminded me of the first day he came, how nervous he had been. Gerard confused me to no end. He seemed incapable of handling his emotions, but at the same time he seemed to be (Or want to be) completely in control of not only himself and others, but everything around him. He shuffled to my bedside, and ran his fingers through his inky hair, a habit of his that he did when nervous. "Adie..." He whispered brokenly. I said nothing, but looked at him in what I hoped was a forgiving way. Apparently it didn't get across to him, because soon he was kneeling and sobbing into my bed covers and mumbling things I couldn't understand. "It's alright Gee." I whispered, patting his hand. "I forgive you." He looked up "I didn't say sorry to you." He said nastily. I instantly felt heartbroken, but if I felt it, he looked it. "Oh god Adie, I didn't mean that. I am sorry, I am." I shook my head "It's fine. It was a mistake- You were drunk." He lifted his head and said "No, it's not alright. Being drunk is no excuse, Adrienne. I can't treat you like that! But when I'm in a mood you can't stand up to me, there's no stopping me and you know it!" He cried. I bowed my head. It was so true. But I didn't want to fight about it. I didn't even want to think aboiut it. "Look Gerard, just go. I forgive you, now can we please just forget it? I have. Now please leave, I have a headache and need some rest." He nodded slowly, stood up and walked out. I sat patiently, until I heard the last step creak, and then jumped out of bed and tip toed to the shower. I stood under the hot water, and tried to let it calm me in vain. Who was I kidding? I hadn't forgot. I probably never would. Anger rose inside me, and I felt like screaming, but then it was gone, and I was left feeling stupid and irrational. I stepped out of the foggy shower with my eyes closed and reached for a towel. I screamed, when my hand collided with a body. My eyes opened; It was Mikey. "Mikey!" I scolded "What are you doing?" He said nothing, only stared and took one step towards me.
Hai Guise. Yeah I'm really proud of this chapter. I realised halfway through it that it's an awful lot like the book "Gerald's Game" By Stephen King, and that's actually one of my favourite books. If anyone's read it they'll know what I mean. (Hence the Summary title)
Anyway keep reviewing! I'm leaving to go away in two days and me posting the next chapter all depends how many reviews this chapter and the last chapter get.
Thanks in advance :D