"They're, they're these terrors
kind of like it feels like
as if somebody was gripping my..."
"they're these terrors
kind of like it feels like
as if somebody was gripping my throat..."
"they're, they're not like tremors, they're worse than
tremors. They're, they're these terrors"
"like late at night
umm they're not like tremors, they're
worse than tremors
they're, they're these terrors
kind of like, it feels like as if somebody
was gripping my throat and squeezing and,
"...it feels like as if somebody was gripping my throat and..."
Some say, now suffer all the children
And walk away a savior,
Or a madman and polluted
From gutter institutions.
Don't you breathe for me,
Undeserving of your sympathy,
Cause there ain't no way that I'm sorry for what I did.
And through it all
How could you cry for me?
Cause I don't feel bad about it.
So shut your eyes,
Kiss me goodbye,
The hardest part is letting go of
A drink for the horror that I'm in,
For the good guys, and the bad guys,
For the monsters that I've been!
Three cheers for tyranny,
Cause there ain't no way that I'm coming back again.
And through it all
How could you cry for me?
Cause I don't feel bad about it.
So shut your eyes,
Kiss me goodbye,
The hardest part
is awful things that I've seen...
"...sometimes I see flames and sometimes
I see people that I love dying, and it's always...
sometimes I see flames and sometimes I see people that I love dying..."
[Screaming:] Wake up!
"...sometimes, I can't, I can't ever wake up..."
Sleep- My Chemical Romance
A hopeful smile grew on Gerard's face. Poor pathetic man. "You remember me?"
The hope in his voice almost made me pity him. Did he really think I was such an idiot to believe whatever lie he was ready to feed me? "I'm sorry to say that I don't remember you," I said as his smile vanished, and then I added cruelly while narrowing my eyes at him, "I wish I could. I would love to remember the moment you ripped my powers and very life away from my body. Tell me Gerard, could you feel the rhythm of my still beating heart when you shoved your fist into my chest?"
The look of horror on his face was so that I almost believed he had nothing to do with it. Almost. He continued to try and trick me by putting on a face of pain and confusion. I wanted to laugh in his sad little face.
"Frank, I don't-"
"What's your name?"
He looked at me for a second longer, as if deciding whether he was going to tell me or not, and then said in a soft and smooth voice, "Gerard..."
I smiled at him, happy to finally hear him say a word, and said, "I'm Frank."
"Frank..."he repeated. I liked how he said it much more than I how I did. He said my name with much more care, as if trying not to break it, while I always just spat it out.
An intense white light blinded me and made my head ache in a way I had never felt. Igrasped the sides of it trying to force the pain away. What the fuck was that?
Gerard took afew steps closer to me seeing I was suffering. He probably wanted to take advantage and finish me off while I was weak and distracted. Reaching a hand out to me, he asked worriedly, "Are you okay?"
Hearing someone in his doorway, Gerard yelled, "Go the fuck away!"
"No, I'm not going anywhere." I walked over to his bed and sat next to him.
He glanced up at me, looking slightly embarrassed. "Frank, I..."
"You don't have to tell me anything, I just think you shouldn't be alone when you feel like shit, which you obviously do."
He glanced up at me through watery eyes and offered a smile. "Thanks, Frankie..." He leaned his head on my shoulder as I put an arm around him, feeling like that was my place in the world.
"What the fuck are you doing to me!?" I yelled at him, closing my eyes tight and crying out as the hot flashes of light hit me and then disappeared just as quickly.
Gerard rushed over to me. "I'm not doing anything to you! I don't have that kind of power!"
"The fuck you don't!" I yelled again, glaring at him through my sweaty bangs that clung over my face. I saw him about to take the last step that separated us and screamed through my teeth, "Stop!"
"Stop!" I yelled suddenly, with one hand stretched out towards them, scaring them and making them stay where they were, about half-a-dozen feet away from me. "Don't come closer, I don't know what w-"
I was cut off by my own scream of pain as the throbbing became so intense I thought my head would explode. I pressed my hands against my head so tightly as if to shut it all inside and suppress the pain by mere force. I heard a rattling coming from the table and associated it to the sound of silverware and plates clattering on the table, since it was lunch time.
"Save me, Gee... save me..." I whispered, looking down, not thinking he could hear.
"Its okay, Frankie, don't worry, I'm here," Gerard whispered back. I felt two arms wrap themselves around me and hold me tightly. I gasped in surprise as the pain started to subside as Gerard whispered into my ear. "Hold on, Frankie, it'll pass soon, I'm here for you, I'm not going anywhere, its okay..."
The flash of light made me fall to my knees. I continued to clutch my head as if trying to squeeze the pain out. I felt a cautious arm on my back and lashed out at it."Stay away from me! And stop filling my head with fucking lies!"
Gerard gestured confused. "I'm not doing anything, Frank, I swear! I could never do anything to you!"
From the floor I glared up at him. "What were those drawings near the entrance- who drew them, what do they mean?"
"I didn't see any drawings. I saw you pick up some papers and throw them away but I didn't look at them. I don't know!" I could see the sweat drip down his face; he was extremely nervous.
"Bullshit!We're both in them! What does it-"
"Did you draw all of these? They're fantastic!"
I turned back to the wall and my eyes got caught on a very dark drawing. It was of the cemetery. In the middle of it was a big tombstone with a willow tree on one side. I found it familiar... and then I saw a black figure hiding behind the tombstone. You could only see the top part of the face of the man and his hands as he looked over the tombstone. I gaped slightly as I realized the hidden figure was me the day I met Gerard. So he could see me after all.
"It's amazing... the detail of everything is just perfect. The leaves on the ground and the darkness and everything... it's just how I remember it too."
With an almost shy smile, Gerard handed the paper to me. "Your birthday present."
"It's amazing, Gee..." I whispered, still looking at the picture. "You are so talented; I've never seen anyone draw like you." I looked up at him and saw him smiling timidly at me, his cheeks turning a light shade of red.
"I... I just thought it was an important moment for you. I mean, it was your first time seeing real magic... well you saw me heal and stuff before, but in that moment you finally understood it was real, and instead of freaking out, it made you happy and... and I'm glad."
I had a strong urge to rip my head off to stop the throbbing from continuing. I stood up rapidly, grabbed Gerard by the throat and slamming him against the pillar we were next to, holding him up against it as I spoke. "I'm not going to fall for your fucking magic tricks, so you can cut the bullshit out right now!"
He was gasping for air and kicking about with his legs trying to free himself but I felt no pity for him at all. I didn't want him pulling his mind tricks crap on me again. His feet hit my shins over and over but I continued to hold onto his neck, glaring at him and wanting him to just disappear. I wanted to see the life escape his green eyes.
"Come on!Defend yourself!" I screamed in his face. "You're not so tough now, are you?Why don't you show me some of your almighty powers!"
A look of anguish came over his face as he continued to grasp at the hand that I had pressed against his throat. "I c-can't... I can't hurt you..."
I looked at him confused. He couldn't hurt me, but it wasn't something physical that was keeping him from doing so. It was something far stronger than that. He was /emotionally/incapable of doing so, but how could that be? Out of the corner of my eye, Isaw the Stone of Life begin to glow slowly brighter, but chose to ignore it. My hold on him weakened slightly.
"Please..." he managed, "Frankie...-"
A wave of anger came over me again. I tightened my grip on his throat. "Say goodbye, Gerard-" I snarled. A bright red light flashed from the Stone of Life, illuminating the entire room right before a huge amount of images exploded in my mind.
"Goodnight, Frankie." I could hear a smile in his voice.
"Goodnight, Gee." I was sure he could hear the grin in mine as I happily closed my eyes.
"The Ruins are not humans, you're right. Well, they are humans at the same time that they're not. They have no souls, you see, and are therefore not human. They are humans that have had their souls taken away from them. And that... that is exactly what they are after."
"That's why you took me down with you? You think I'll have powers?"
"With you I'm not mistaken. You will have powers; you're covered in signs."
"I," Ray said, standing next to the part of the table where I was, pointing at the frozen kitty, "can animate things." With a shake of his finger, the cat made of ice that Kat had produced suddenly stood up, shook itself and took a few steps, then sat back down and began to lick its paw. "I bring inanimate objects to life," he clarified as I stared in wonder at the little kitty that was now chasing its own tail.
"Dear boy, Iam none other than your father."
Gerard offered me a smile and wiped away the remainder of my tears from my cheeks. Ioffered him a weak smile in return, and he threw his arms around me once more."It'll all be better now, don't worry, I'll help you... I'll make it all go away... I promise..." he whispered into my ear, washing away all my worries.
I felt his warm lush lips press softly against mine, and then again but with more force. My heart raced as he held the back of my head with his hand, kissing me again more forcefully and rapidly with his lips parted.
Aileen nodded quickly, a frown forming on her pretty mouth. "Her name was Alyssa. She was Gerard's girlfriend... well, they were actually engaged... They were so happy together... you should have seen him..."
My heart pounded in my ribcage and I was seriously afraid he could hear it. "What feels right to you, Frankie?"
"This." I grabbed his face with both hands and pulled it down to mine, crashing my slightly parted mouth against his.
The black figure seemed to slowly limp towards us with great difficulty. A sudden feeling of dread filled my gut as I continued to contemplate the approaching figure. I found myself wanting -praying - for it to turn around and leave; deep inside I knew who it was but couldn't believe it.
She raised her head slowly, and with great effort extended a hand towards us pleadingly, uttering a single word. "Gerard..."
"Don't you think it's weird? It's been three months! I don't know her but - the Ruins, have they ever let anyone escape before? Have they ever even taken prisoners before?"
Before Icould say anything else, Gerard pushed himself off the chair and rushed at me. He stopped himself right in front of me, with his fist held in the air, about to punch me but holding himself back.
"Kat?" Bob asked. Shaking his head sadly, he said, "I haven't seen her all day."
Please stop saying my name... it's making it harder for me to breathe...
"What I'm trying to say... is that, I'm in love with you, Frank."
I touched his silky hair, letting my hand get lost in the raven mess that I adored. Istared into those beautiful eyes as his neck and head disappeared, hair included. All that were left were those eyes.
"You must have misunderstood her," and shook his head.
"No, Gerard, I didn't. She made it very clear... it's all a lie."
"Protect what you were made to protect," she repeated. "The object that is life itself and yet can destroy the entire world with just one blow!"
"I told him he would lose what he most valued; the person whom he loved more than anything else in the world would change into someone he couldn't recognize; he would be left with a broken heart, and his beloved would be as good as dead."
Mikey's words sounded in my head as Gerard placed wet kisses along my neck and jaw. It's a matter of life or death, Frank...
My thoughts were broken by Gerard's slurred words. "I missed you, babe... I hadn't kissed you for- what?"
He continued kissing any bare skin he saw on me. "A day..." I managed, gasping as he pressed against me.
"This can't go on," I heard myself say, and then imitated his brother's words, "I have to stop this now."
Rushing over to me again, he asked urgently, needing an answer, "But why?"
"Because Idon't want to lose you!" I said frantically, throwing my hands out towards him.
"Thanks for leading me here; I would've never found this room or the Stone without your help. So, thanks. I owe you one," she teased, smirking at my open anger.
"He wants you to get the Stone for him, Frank; he needs it. He's figured out what it does, or part of what it does and he wants it badly."
"The fate of the entire world will lie in his and only his hands. His life and entire world will take a twist on a cold Halloween night. The wind will blow, the leaves will dance, and he will be taken to the right place at the right time. Only he, the Chosen One, will be the tamer of the Stone of Life, stopping the world from its own self-destruction and bring peace to the magical world for once and for all. He will not be alone, he will have help, but the salvation of us all will depend on the life that runs through his veins. He will draw the line between evil and good, erasing, for once and for all, every sign of evil on the face of the earth. Flame will find fire, and all will be well."
"You guys should really talk. He's crazy about you, Kat; it's so obvious it's actually funny. He'd do anything for you."
"Friends..."Mauritius called out to the Ruins, like a politician about to give a speech, and receiving an uproar in response, "... enemies," he finished, smiling at them all. Everyone waited in silence to see what he would say. After a short pause, he said, "Look what we found snooping around our world!"
Would I die for him? Yes. Without hesitation.
I'd never be able to touch those lips again, kiss him softly and then passionately, feel him press against me and his fingers as they raced across my skin. Never again...
I clenched my jaw. "See you in hell, motherfucker."
The Ruin's hand quickly entered my chest. I gasped at the unbearable pain. Everything turned white and all I could hear were the horrible cries of Gerard...
Goodnight, babe, goodnight...
As Ifrantically gasped for air I let go of my hold on Gerard, making him fall to the ground where he began a cough attack. I staggered back and few steps and then dropped to my knees with my arms hanging by my sides. The entire time Gerard was trying to crawl over to me while still coughing with panic in his eyes. Panic for me.
My eyes began to cloud and my vision of Gerard blurred. I didn't understand what had happened; all I knew that I was in a place with Gerard injured in front of me.
I managed to murmur,"Gee..." before falling to a side and blacking out completely.
About the lyrics at the beginning... Sleep is probably my favorite song off the Black Parade. Its lyrics mean so much to me, I could never explain it. When I saw MCR in concert for this CD, they played this song and it impacted me in such a way... does anyone else feel that way about this song or any other? I was just... dumbstruck. No other way to put it. Also, the lyrics are amazing. If you don't know the story behind them I suggest you look them up or ask me about it. It's amazing also. They fit the entire story so, and especially this part. Frank gave his life for Gerard but he didn't feel bad about it, because he wanted Gerard to live. It talks about the hard times in life... this story is about that too, in a much more exaggerated way.
I'm telling you all this because it's important that everyone knows this: no matter what happens in your life, or how hard it may seem to you, you must remember that it will get better. Stick with your friends, talk to someone about your problems, but please, PLEASE, do not resort to cutting... or worse. Cutting won't make anything better. It makes things worse. It's make you feel bad for doing it, for having to hide it. Even if it's only to an online buddy... please talk to someone about your problems before taking any drastic measures. Cutting your wrists is not a game - you're cutting your fucking wrists! You could die! And because of what? Some guy that doesn't want to go out with you? Think about the little kids that die of hunger in Africa and how you're cutting your wrists because of one looser guy... it's insane.
Sorry about writing this here, but I've been hearing about some problems of this from afriend of mine and it saddens me how crazy the world has become.
On a lighter note, how many of you have actually read all the flashbacks and how many have skipped over them? Haha. Sorry they're so long; it's probably annoying but it's the only way I could think of writing this. Thanks for reading this huge-ass note. It goes along with the huge-ass flashbacks. Can't forget about the huge-ass lyrics, either. I'll stop saying huge-ass now. Oops.
Hopefully this chapter doesn't suck. Review and rate and I'll know. ;) Take care of yourselves. Seriously.
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