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The Doctor left Gallifrey for a reason. Songfic.
What does the free fall feel like?
Asks the boy with a spark in his eye
Know why the nightingale sings
Is the answer to everything
He has long learned to keep his real questions to himself. A condescending smile, a mocking glance, a dismissive retort; that is what he will receive, and he needs none of it. Instead, he asks himself, and dreams of the answers.
Instead, he inters himself in the philosophy of other worlds, the history and mythology and expression of aliens his peers could never understand, simply because they don't want to. Through them, he grasps enlightenment.
"The boy has his head in the clouds. He's not fit for Prydon, and certainly not to be a Time Lord."
They think he can't hear them bickering over his fate, or they don't care. All it does, really, is confirm his success.
Theta Sigma is a rebel without a cause, a callow layabout, a tragedy of wasted potential.
Taking a step to the world unbound
Spinning my fantasies all around
Freed from the gravital leash
I swear the heaven's in my reach
He does just enough to pass muster, just enough to gain what he needs. It's a step towards a goal they cannot comprehend, towards freedom they cannot grasp.
"I've noticed that your grades are consistently…"
"The bare minimum?" His grin, bright and large and nonchalant, has convinced many a person of his apathy. Borusa has long realised it looks out of place.
"What do you hope to achieve?" Always so frustrated, so bewildered, which puts him above the rest who simply accept.
"I like my free time."
He maps the universe in his head, highlighting every planet he wants to visit, every wrong he wants to right, every wonder he wants to see. He plans a revolution with his best friend, turning his world into what it ought to be.
He reaches for the stars.
Dancing with the spirit of the air
In this ocean so open and fair
Making love to the gods above
On my maiden voyage so bold
For too long, he cannot find them. They're dimmed by despair as his dreams are smothered. All that's left, in the end, is darkness.
Isolation becomes his only comfort when the last ties to his ideals wither away.
Then his granddaughter is born, and she asks why the nightingale sings.
"Grandfather, are we really going to do it? Can we really run away?" She's so filled with the awe and enthusiasm he used to know.
"Of course we can, my dear! The question is if we want to. It's going to be very difficult. We can never come back."
Together, they soar into the stars he'd almost forgotten.
Landing safely to the blue lagoon
Don't know if this is the earth or the moon
Joy of living is no more a mask
The Eden I found will forever last
He doesn't have a destination in mind, really. The old TARDIS is barely under his control; they're spiralling aimlessly through the Vortex, and it's the best feeling in the universe.
It will take some time for the barriers to weaken, for the bitterness to fade; he lost the child he was to the languor of Gallifrey, but Susan won't have to.
They land roughly, but harmlessly; they step onto alien sands, and hear the cries of strange birds, and walk beneath their sky.
Sometimes, he regrets. Sometimes he gets so frustrated he can't stand it. Sometimes he ponders simply going back and damn the consequences.
Yet he never does. Long after a human woman revives who he once was, after he leaves Susan to a steady life, he continues on, living the life he craved for centuries.
Migrating with the geese
My soul has finally found peace
Doesn't matter that man has no wings
As long as I hear the nightingale sing