Well, that was...boring. The jokes were weak and over used. The characters lacked depth. I don't know where you posted this before, but if you're gonna repost it as all one chapter like this, take out the authors notes in the middle of the thing. They're hella annoying. Almost as much as Lily breaking the 4th wall.
Sorry. Try again.
Author's response
Wow...and you're a tool. I'm keeping my story like it is, and thank you, really, from the bottom of my heart, for giving me a flamer as my first review. Lol. You don't like it, WHY DID U READ THE WHOLE THING???