Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance

Of E-Cadherin and Gravity

by xXKobraKidXx 1 review

Everyone knows that scientific pick-up lines are the best kind of pick-up lines. [Pikey]

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor,Romance - Characters: Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Published: 2014-02-01 - 2040 words - Complete

Normally, the first period of the day sucked. However, the first period happened to be Mikey’s favorite class- Chemistry.

There were many things to love about the subject. Chemistry was so hands-on and logical, Mikey felt like he belonged. In that class, nobody hated him, since he knew /everything/. Plus, the teacher, Mister Toro, tended to use a lot of elemental puns and Chemistry jokes, which made the class all the more interesting.

“Since Valentine’s Day is around the corner,” Mister Toro said, “I’ve decided to do something fun. In this box I have everyone’s name. Each one of you will draw a name. If you got your own name, put it back and draw again. There will be no trading. Then, you will create a valentine with a scientific pick-up line for the person you drew. Your valentine must show effort. It doesn’t have to be perfect or professional, but it can’t be a sloppy note written on a piece of notebook paper that took you all of ten seconds to do, nor can it be store-bought. If you need help coming up with pick-up lines, feel free to ask me. I know plenty of websites that can give you ideas. Do we have any questions?”

When nobody raised their hands, Mister Toro started walking around with the box of names. Since Mikey sat in the very front row in the very first seat next to Mister Toro’s desk, he was the first to pick. Mikey simply snatched a piece of paper and opened it.

Pete Wentz.

Mikey immediately felt his cheeks turn pink. What were the odds of getting Pete Wentz as his Chemistry valentine?

He and Pete had a rather complicated relationship. They dated for about a year, but Pete broke it off with him, since he fell in love with Patrick. Pete didn’t do something like break up with him over a text or something- in fact, he was very sincere when they broke it off. He even said that he still wanted to be friends. Mikey was happy that his ex was happy, really, but the problem was that he was still in love with him.

Pete sat three seats away. This meant that his chances of getting Mikey’s name were much lower, considering that there were thirty people in the classroom.

Mikey watched as Pete drew a name and opened the paper. He studied his ex’s facial expression for any change. There was none when he closed the paper and placed it on the table.

No reaction, none at all. Mikey couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed.

“So, Mikeyway,” Pete asked, “Who did you get for your Chemistry valentine?”

Pete was genuinely curious. He saw the little blush on Mikey’s face when he saw who he got. Part of him thought that maybe, just maybe, it was him… but what were the odds of that?

Pete and his current boyfriend, Patrick, were having problems. Pete really hated to admit it, especially since he had broken poor, sweet Mikey’s little heart in order to get with Patrick without hurting him by cheating. Lately, he felt as though Patrick were slipping away from him. The blame didn’t completely fall on Patrick, though- Pete discovered that he was still in love with Mikey.

Currently, Mikey was single- his last boyfriend, Gabe Saporta, broke it off the night before he moved across the state. Mikey was heartbroken, of course, and Pete was honestly sympathetic- Gabe treated Mikey right, and probably would’ve made a better older brother than a lover. But a glimmer of hope showed, and goddamn it, if this was Pete’s chance to win Mikey back, he was gonna take it.

“I, um, I can’t tell you, Pete,” Mikey mumbled, “You’ll probably tell them, anyway. You do have a big mouth.”

Pete couldn’t help but smirk. “Oh, you would know.”

This caused a massive blush to appear on Mikey’s face. Pete laughed, “C’mon, tell me!”


Pete rolled his eyes, “C’mon, I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours!”

Pete was lying. Actually, he could never tell Mikey that he pulled his name. But he could easily bullshit it.

“I… I can’t, Pete,” Mikey said. Pete thought he detected a bit of sadness in his ex’s voice. “I, um… I need to go.”

“So, you’re trying to make a valentine for your Chemistry assignment… and this valentine is supposed to go to your ex-boyfriend?”

Mikey sighed, “Yeah. I really don’t want to make this awkward, so I need your help, Gee! You’re good with awkward situations!”

Gerard sighed, feeling sorry for his brother. He remembered getting this assignment from Mister Toro his sophomore year, but back then, he wasn’t put in this situation. He had been lucky enough to still be with his first love.

“I don’t really know what to say, Mikey,” Gerard said, “I mean, as long as you don’t use an overly sexual pun, it shouldn’t be that bad. And it’s not like Patrick will be jealous- he knows it’s just an assignment.”

“I know, but… I mean… I just… I still love him, Gerard. I tried moving on, I really have, but Pete… he’s the one I fell in love with. Not Ryan, not Brendon, not Gabe, but Pete.”

Gerard pulled Mikey into a tight hug. “Love sucks, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Mikey mumbled.

“I guess the only thing there is to say is to be honest,” Gerard said, “It won’t be as hard to do with a pun, but there really isn’t much that I can do to help.”

Mikey sighed, “Thanks anyway, Gee.”

Whether you’re measured in Celsius, Fahrenheit, Kelvin, et cetera, you’ll always be smoking hot to me.

You’re so hot I might precombust in your cylinder.

If I were a protein, I’d be a heat shock protein and hold your hand through rough times.

Are you sure you don’t contain a singularity? Not only are you attractive, but the closer I get to you, the faster time seems to slip by.

“These are all good… but not good enough,” Mikey sighed. He groaned loudly, smacking his face into the keyboard. He decided to follow the blog, this way he wouldn’t spend hours searching for it on Tumblr. He really needed something that really told Pete how he felt, but was so subtle, Pete might not see it coming.

Mikey decided to spend a few more minutes searching on the blog, this time checking a few of the older posts. He went back a few pages, and a few posts down was a pick-up line that really got his attention.

“This one might work,” Mikey said. He got to work on his valentine right away.

Pete stared down at the paper, frustration evident on his features. He had written down a list of various pick-up lines and puns, but none of them were good enough.

“Try this one,” Frank said, “/If I was a hydrogen atom, I’d be more attracted to you than fluorine./”

“That one was worse than the last five Sodium puns,” Pete sighed, “Frank, I need one that’ll let Mikey know that really, really like him.”

“Um… /If I were an enzyme, I’d be helicase so I could unzip your genes./”

Pete sighed, “That was even worse.”

“Well, I’m sorry that I’m bad with Chemistry puns! If this were a math assignment, I’d totally kill it!”

Pete tapped his pencil on the desk, wondering what he should write. He was brought out of his thoughts, though, when his cellphone rang. Pete picked it up immediately, recognizing that it was Patrick’s ringtone.

“Hey, babe,” Pete said.

“Pete… we need to talk,”
Patrick said, “Um… can you meet me at the park?”

“Sure. I’ll see you then, Patrick.” Pete hung up, getting a horrible feeling in his gut. “Frank, I gotta go. See you later.”

“Everything okay?” Frank asked.

“Honestly, I don’t know… but I have a feeling it’s gonna get worse.”

As Pete predicted, the vibe he got off of Patrick wasn’t a good one. Patrick wasn’t smiling or showing any sign that he was about to prove Pete wrong. In fact, he seemed rather reluctant.

“Pete… I… this is really important, and I felt that I shouldn’t do this over the phone-”

Pete cut Patrick off, “You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?”

“How did you know?”

Pete sighed, “Well… this was the same way I broke it off with Mikey. It’s pretty much the same thing, except I didn’t break up with him at the park. And I know what’s gonna happen next- you’ll go on and on about how you love someone else and it just wouldn’t be fair to lead me on. I get it, ‘Trick.”

“I’m sorry, Pete, really,” Patrick said, “I, um, I hope we can still be friends.”

“Yeah. Of course, man,” Pete said, “I… um… You actually saved me from going through this again, anyway. I was considering breaking up with you when I…”


“You know that chemistry project we were given?”


“I… I drew Mikey’s name, and in the process of working on it, I-”

“You discovered that you still love him.”

Pete nodded. “Yeah. I do, and I was a fucking fool to let him go.”

Patrick chuckled, “Well, since you and I are just friends again, and it’s a friend’s job to help another out, I think I might have the perfect pun for your valentine.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, class,” Mister Toro said, “Who’s ready to express the love they may or may not hold towards their valentine through cheesy scientific puns?”

With it being the first period of the day, the class didn’t answer. But that didn’t stop Mister Toro from being as enthusiastic as ever.

“Go ahead and exchange valentines. If we do this quickly, I might consider giving you all a break from the school work and watch /Revenge of the Nerds/.”

At this, the class enthusiastically ran to find their valentine. Mikey gathered up the courage to approach Pete, holding onto the valentine he made with shaky hands.

“H-hey, Pete,” Mikey mumbled. “Um… Happy Valentine’s Day.”

He handed the valentine to Pete, who seemed a bit surprised. “Wait… I’m your valentine?” He opened the valentine and read what was written in Mikey’s neat handwriting.

I never want to stop expressing E-cadherin, and hold you tight forever.

Pete smiled. He then handed Mikey the valentine he had made. The stunned look on Mikey’s fact told the older that he just wasn’t expecting it.

“I know, right? I mean, what are the odds of getting each other?”


“It was a rhetorical question, Mikeyway,” Pete said, “If I really wanted to know the probability of getting you out of anyone else in this room, I would’ve gone to Frank. Now, stop staring at me and read it.”

Are you exerting a gravitational pull, because I’m falling for you.

“Oh, Pete,” Mikey whispered.

“Mikes… I broke up with Patrick the other day. Ironically, he fell in love with another guy. But, even before we broke up, discovered that I made the worst mistake of my life. This project, it made me realize that I can’t be without you. You’re… I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you’re the sodium to my chlorine.”

“You’re associating our love with /table salt/?” Mikey asked, clearly amused.

“Yes… I’m sorry, but Mister Toro now has me doing these stupid pick-up lines…”
Mikey smiled shyly at Pete and took his hand. “So… does this mean that you want to go out again.”

“Yeah,” Pete said, “It does. Michael James Way, will you be the activating agent to my zymogen?”

Mikey rolled his eyes, giggling. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
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