Categories > Original > Drama

You have a point

by FinnFhone 0 reviews

Hermie has a talk with Norm about Herms' method.

Category: Drama - Rating: PG - Genres: Angst,Fantasy - Warnings: [!!!] - Published: 2023-03-18 - 1685 words - Complete

hi quick author's note! this fic is for a podcast called DnDads, go check it out! Wishing they had a podcast category... enjoy! criticism is highly appreciated.


Hermie was laid down face up in a far-back seat of the CatBus. He was flipping and catching a coin periodically, with a pretty good success rate. 

The Main Cast were out doing something, and he volunteered to stay behind and guard the Bus. In this scene, he was the getaway driver. He caught the coin and held it in his fist, thinking of getaway drivers in movies and the theater. Even though his mind immediately went to Mean Girls (“Get in loser we’re going shopping”), he settled on Carter McCoy, immediately sitting up and straightening his posture, getting into character.

His body went into auto-pilot as he stood up, wincing only a little despite the sharp pain in his burnt legs, and walked to the front of the CatBus. He thought about his new personality traits, finally landing on reserved, paranoid, and cold as ice. He changed himself, his demeanor, everything he could to fit those three core traits. 

Hermie stumbled out of the CatBus, barely catching himself descending the steep stairs. He put on a face of neutrality and quiet scrutiny as he looked around the apocalyptic wasteland below the Doodler’s bum, scanning for the Main Cast. He wondered if he should arrive at their location, and finally decided that the getaway drivers don’t let the main character find them, they find the main character.

He inwardly groaned at the thought of getting up those steep steps into the Bus, but turned on his heels and gripped the sidebar with all his unburnt hand’s might.

Sidling into the driver’s seat (his legs were shaking), Hermie cracked his neck, gripped the wheel with his hand, and shouted, “Punch it, baby!” as he stepped on the gas.

First off: It was actually, like, super boring. Nothing really to look at in this wasteland. Cue travel montage.

Second off: Probably cause of the Doodler’s, erm, presence Hermie had an urge to crash the CatBus whenever he saw an outjutting rock or pile of rubble.

He knew this was the time the scene would cut to whatever the Main Cast was doing, so he imagined what they were up to. Tapping his fingers, he pictured epic fights, emotional moments, and fond farewells to side characters. He imagined Scary, Link, Normal, and Taylor in a freezeframe shot, doing something incredible. Who knows? They could be riding a dragon, eating with royalty, or simply hanging out together. Hermie thought that would be nice.

Hermie zoned back in after a fair while of driving, trying to remember the map they had found and where the Main Cast said they were going next. He finally arrived at the location, destroyed trees and bushes guarding view of the building he knew that was in the thicket. Various noises of battling and chaos came from the building.

Hermie pulled up to the front of the thicket, seeing a sign above the entrance that was tattered and broken. He squinted through his glasses and finally made out, ‘Bull E. Wugs!’  He parked the CatBus in front, and sighed dramatically. He crossed his arms behind his head (“ow”) and crossed his legs (“OW”) and hummed a tune. 

Once the sounds of fighting died down, Hermie perked up from his idle. He fiddled around for the door opener, and looked over towards the abandoned bar. Out through the doorway marched Taylor, walked Link, stumbled Normal, and stomped Scary.

“Get in losers, we’re going shopping.” Well shit. Hermie couldn’t help himself. He’s done improv before, why not be Regina George? He can be manipulative and intelligent. The Main Cast is his group of followers. His demeanor changed to that of sass and confidence, and he crossed her legs, wondering if today was Wednesday.

“Hermie! You got the Bus!” Taylor sauntered to the front steps of the CatBus, and gave Hermie a thumbs up. She smiled in response.

She needed to get more into character. Hermie beckoned for them to hop in the bus, then stood up from the drivers seat and reached a hand towards Taylor’s hair.

“Why do you wear your hair like that?”

“Oh, because it’s the signature hairstyle of-”

Hermie grinned with malice. “Your hair looks sexy pushed back. Scary, would you tell him that his hair looks sexy pushed back?”

Taylor grimaced, then groaned. “Mean Girls?” Scary snorted at the scene.

The Main Cast had settled in the back to the Bus, the quiet crushing. Normal twiddled with his thumbs. Link stared out the window. Scary sat silently, arms crossed. Taylor was reading a pirated manga website.

Hermie was in the front, driving the Bus with a cunning focus. He- No, Regina- She hummed under her breath. She didn’t notice as Normal perked up with curiosity, stood up, and walked to the front of the bus.

“Hey Hermie?” He begun awkwardly. Hermie gave a seemingly non-committal ‘hm?’

“You- You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to or don’t know, but, um. How did you, uh, survive the… burning? The cheese, y’know.” Normal rocked on his heels and fiddled with his hair.

… Damn, good question. Hermie thought. She had tried not to think about it and accept it as it was. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, they say. But now, as the landscape below the Doodlers bum stretched on, they didn’t have anything else to think about. No, no. She didn’t have anything else. Stay in character. Respond to Normal.

“I don’t know.” She responded simply.

“Oh, alright. Well, I’m thinking it has something to do with your dads, y’know-?” Normal caught himself. “Sorry, sorry. I won’t talk about it anymore.” She didn’t want to admit it, but a small part of Hermie wanted him to stay, wanted somebody to talk to about this. They- She felt the Doodler’s presence bore into them- HER. Stay in Regina. If she wanted Normal to stay, tell him to. Ask him to. He’s walking away, act now. Act.

“Wait.” Hermie let go of the wheel, letting the Bus do it’s thing for this conversation. “Hold on.” 

Normal spun on his heels, a quizzical look on his face. He stepped forward and sat in the passenger seat wordlessly. Hermie sighed.

“I do wanna talk about that. I don’t know, honest.” Regina George was gone. Who was it now? Are they back to Carter McCoy? No, he’s too distant for this talk. Hermie didn’t know who it was. Maybe it was time to just be… Hermie. But being Hermie was horrifying to Hermie because it doesn’t know who it is.

“Oh, Hermie… C’mere.” Normal’s face twisted in sadness, his arms outstretched for a hug, and had Hermie said that out loud? It’s breath hitched and they leaned forward tentatively. They moved suddenly after that, leaning entirely on Normal’s weight. Their breath came out as a sob. Normals arms held them tightly.

They stood there for a stretched out time, waiting for Hermie’s breath to stop hitching. They backed up carefully. They took a breath. Normal waited patiently.

“You asked about the cheese?” Hermie tried to make themself small, It didn’t work. They took a breath. Normal nodded.

“Well, like I- Reigna? No, no, whatever-” they waved their arms dismissively. “-Like I said, I have no idea. I have a hunch it has to do with my, er, dads.” Hermie stammered. “What were they called again, Jodie and Scam? One of them is a demon, the other one is a... What the fuck is Scam again?” They fiddled with a knot in their hair. “Whatever. Doesn’t matter. I bet with Jodie being a demon, he’s, like, fireproof or something. I dunno.” Hermie scratched their head. “And, like, half of that passed onto me. So I kind of didn’t get hurt.”

“..Alright. Hermie, you know you can talk to us about anything you want? Like, I know you method act a lot, like, a lot-” Hermie snickered. “-But you can be yourself around us, alright? It’s alright. Alright?”

Hermie couldn’t help but laugh. “You said alright four times, hehe.” They straightened their posture and responded seriously, “But, yeah. I do. Uh, thanks.” Hermie crossed his arms awkwardly. “I think I’m okay now. Um, should I still method?”

Normal looked lost in thought. “Uh, probably noooott? I’m not sure. Maybe… not?” He shrugged with a sorry look on his face. Hermie narrowed their eyes.

Hermie paused, then responded, “Alright, sure. Maybe when you guys aren’t around I’ll method. It’s hard to be myself all the time- what a fucked up thing to say.” They snickered. “For now, I think I’m gonna take a nap, think about this, capiche?” They stretched and grinned at Normal.

“Sure, sure. Capiche.” He walked away towards the back of the bus and layed down in the far seats like a couch.

Hermie sat down in the driver’s seat (their legs hurt. As usual.) and leaned back, tired. They wanted to fall asleep so badly, it had been quite a day or emotional vulnerability. They needed a break, let their body go on autopilot and mull over this. They decided to follow through on their promise to Normal: They would only method when the Main Cast were gone.

They decided on the clueless Inspector Gadget, from the new Inspector Gadget: Reloaded, The Musical Anime Reboot. He crossed his arms (they had learned to ignore the pain) and began snoring comically, hoping it would lull them to sleep faster. 

Later, Scary shouted, “Shut up Hermie!” He obliged, tuning the snores down from a 7 to a 3. Not long after that, they had all fallen into an uneasy long rest, the Doodler’s presence no doubt giving them disturbing dreams.
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