Then again at 24, I had to watch that brother sink to his lowest of lows. I remember how mad I was at him, for not thinking about all those nights when we'd hide from our dad. He became our father, he was just like him. Now I was following in their drunken footsteps. There was one main difference between Gerard and I; I knew how to keep a secret.
I counted on that bottle to be there for me every night. And you know what? It was. It never once let me down. Not like everything else in my life. I didn't have to justify anything to it, never had to tell it what was wrong, it was a silent friend. Made me feel better, without words.
I was at the point, that I felt as if I couldn't function without my silent friend. We usually met up around nine a.m. in a very Irish coffee. Then, casually and secretly, throughout the day. By ten o'clock I was spent, and passed out on the flat surface nearest me. This...worked for me. I wasn't happy, but I wasn't miserable either. I was content.
We were playing our last show in Chicago, or...was it Detroit. Anyway. One more show until I could be in the comfort of my own home, for six whole months. The band made a collective decision to take a break from this chaos. I swore I could taste alcohol in the sweat dripping down to my lip. Between songs I would take large gulps from my water bottle, which as you would guess was actually filled with some cheap vodka I had picked up on the way there.
We finished the set, and I was amazed that I had gotten through all those songs without screwing up. I tried to hurry away, but two Frankie's stopped me. My vision took a while to focus, and then there was only one Frank.
"You okay Mikey?" He asked me.
I nodded, slowly. It felt like there were weights on my eyelashes, forcing my eyes to shut for long periods of time.
"You look tired, bud, lets go back to the bus," he said. They were all so oblivious. I mean, I could hold my liquor pretty well. But couldn't they smell it? Not like I wanted them to, it just didn't make sense. Maybe, I did want them to. I dunno... I couldn't tell right from left at that moment, so there's no way to know what I wanted.
He patted my back and we walked to the bus together. I laid down in my bunk and stopped fighting the eyelash weights.
A/N So, I dunno, please tell me what you think... is it worth continuing? I love reviews. :)