The Great Captain Usopp is a man of many skills, and more than a little common sense.
Warnings: Bit of het.
Notes: Of course it wasn't long before the humor seeped in. Continuing from the previous chapter.
"Wow," Chopper breathed out silently as he gazed up in awe. "You can tell all that just by looking at a person!?"
"Yep," Usopp grinned and nodded. "The Great Captain Usopp is a master of body language. That's the only reason I escaped from the Turel Island alive. You see there was a tribe of-"
"What the hell are you going on about now?" Sanji leaned in the kitchen doorway looking bored, and effectively scaring the other two pirates.
"Well, I-" Usopp stuttered out when his heart had calmed down.
Chopper was much quicker to calm down and excitedly said, "Usopp was just telling me about how he can tell what a person's really thinking or feeling just by looking at them. Isn't that great!?"
"Right," Sanji snorted.
"It's true!" Usopp didn't like the skeptical look the cook had. "I really can!"
If the cook didn't believe him he could always ask Robin. She'd been the one who gave him that book about body language saying he already seemed to understand the basics. He was still reading the book, but so far his observations hadn't been very far off from the truth.
"Oh, yeah?" Sanji looked around the deck before pointing. "Then tell me what you can see there."
Usopp followed the blonde's finger in time to see Nami wake Zoro up with a few well placed kicks to his head. Ow. She was even wearing the pointy ones with the heels. /Ow/. Zoro opened his eyes reluctantly and growled something at her.
"Ok," Usopp muttered and, ignoring some undoubtedly snide comment from Sanji, watched his two crewmates.
Several minutes passed in silence. Chopper anxiously looked back and forth between Usopp and his subjects. Sanji pretended to not be paying any attention to anything until Zoro stormed off leaving a cutely fuming Nami behind. "Well?"
"I, uh... Well- Oh!" Usopp stood suddenly grinning widely as he grabbed Chopper. "Oops! I almost forgot that I have this thing to do. And it's very important that I do it now! Bye!"
Usopp fled into the men's quarters letting the door cut off the cook's laughter. Slumping against the door he let out the breath he'd been holding.
"Usopp," Chopper spoke up, "what did you need to do in here?"
"Nothing," Usopp said with a dismissive wave. He fixed the young doctor with a solemn look and said, "One of the things I've learned in life is that, unless you want a bad case of food poisoning, you never tell a cook that the girl he's smitten with is smitten with someone else."