As you guys know I've been locked out of my Reign_Madden account I'll be using this one until further notice.
Present: September 2012
‘Ok I’m ready to discuss this like a rational adult’ Cheyenne said taking a seat at the table
‘Thank you’ Gerard said offering her a smile. She came in with the mentality that she would conduct this like a business meeting and not even Gerard’s causal but sexy smile could throw her off. She was focused.
‘What's the plan?’ She asked covering Gerard’s hand with her own but wishing it was Frank’s hand she was really holding. She needed her strength her, he was like comfort blanket and she stifled a laugh as she imagined dragging Frank across the floor everywhere she went.
‘Plan?’ Lyn asked
‘Yeah’ Cheyenne said rudely ‘I assume Gerard wants to see his…Paige.’ She couldn’t bring herself to say the word daughter it sounded wrong when they weren’t speaking about Jasmine.
‘Oh erm well I desperately need to go home…’ Lyn started before she was interrupted.
‘She isn’t here with you’ Cheyenne asked ‘why not?’
‘Well I wasn’t sure how I’d find Gerard to be honest or how people would take the news I didn’t want my daughter to be met with hostility so I left at her with my husband.’
‘My God someone married you?’ Cheyenne said not bothering to hide the disgust.
‘Yeah someone did and we’re HAPPILY married.’ Lyn shot back.
‘Pff’ Cheyenne snorted ‘sure you are.’
‘Cheyenne’ Frank warned her softly his light brown eyes pleading for her to be nice, she felt her heart skip a beat and she calmed herself.
‘Like I was saying I need to go back home, I’ll discuss this with Marcus and we’ll decided when Paige can visit.’
‘No, hold on a minute’ Gerard said ‘she’s my kid too I should get a say on when she visits.’
‘Ok’ Lyn said taken aback by his tone ‘how about we come down next weekend we’ll ALL meet and decide times that suit us all?’
‘Can’t next weekend’ Cheyenne said ‘we’re having a dinner party.’
‘Oh’ Lyn said ‘erm ok how about you guys come up to Arizona? That’ll be fun too.’ She said smiling broadly at the idea. She’d feel much more comfortable if she were on her own turf.
‘I’m not dragging Jasmine all the way to Arizona.’ Cheyenne said with a roll of her eyes.
‘And yet you want me to bring Paige all the way to Jersey?’ Lyn challenged
‘You’re the one who neglected to tell Gerard he was a father.’ Cheyenne retorted throwing Lyn a dirty look for good measure
‘So, that doesn’t mean that now he knows I have to bend over backwards.’ Lyn snapped back
‘You bending over is what got us into this mess in the first place’ Cheyenne stated. ‘If you told Gerard from the start things would be different now, you big whore.’
‘Whoa ladies!’ Frank said interrupting before a serious argument could break out ‘let’s not get nasty.’
‘She’s being impossible’ Lyn snapped ‘and I’m not a whore.’
‘Gerard?’ Frank asked he noticed his friend was deep in thought.
‘I think Lyn should bring Paige down next weekend’ he held up his hand to silence Cheyenne who had opened her mouth to argue ‘the dinner party isn’t going to take up the whole weekend and I would like for Mikey and my Mom to meet Paige as soon as possible. The six of us can go for dinner on Friday, we’ll have our dinner party on Saturday and then Mikey and Mom can meet Paige before you guys fly back to Arizona on the Sunday’
‘I think that’s very fair’ Lyn said with a nod ‘I’d like for her to meet her Uncle and Grandmother too.’
‘Where does Jasmine fit into all of this?’ Cheyenne asked
‘I said the six of us’ Gerard told her ‘she’ll be with us also.’
‘No, I mean what do we tell her?’
‘Nothing’ Gerard said ‘I’ve already explained to Jasmine about Paige.’
‘Without talking to me first’ Cheyenne cried snatching her hand away from his ‘don’t you think we should’ve discussed what to tell her?’
‘You didn’t let me finish, she doesn’t know she has a half-sister all she knows is that a little girl is coming to visit soon. That’s all.’
‘That all’ Cheyenne said sarcastically and the room fell quiet no one knowing what else to say.
‘I really have to be going’ Lyn announced after a few minutes ‘my flight.’
‘I’ll drive you to the airport’ Gerard offered pushing his seat back
‘Over my dead body’ Cheyenne told them not bothering to hide the venom in her voice ‘she can take a cab.’
‘I don’t mind’ Lyn sighed. She didn’t relish the thought of getting in a dirty cab especially since it was getting dark but she wanted to show Cheyenne that she wasn’t going to let her get to her.
‘I got it’ Frank said ‘I’ll drive you’
A growl erupted deep inside Cheyenne chest and she threw Lyn the nastiest look she could muster. Lyn took a step back and Frank hurried to her side and ushered her toward the front door.
‘Where are you going?’ She snapped as Gerard followed them.
‘To walk them out…’
‘Sad your girlfriend is leaving?’ Cheyenne mocked
‘No’ Gerard replied ‘don’t be ridiculous.’
‘I’m not, shall we review your track record with her.’
‘She’s not a threat to you Chey’ Gerard said placing his hands on her shoulders and looking into her eyes ‘I love you.’
‘I’ve heard that before’ Cheyenne retorted batting his arms from around her.
Gerard groaned, his arms dropping heavily to his side ‘I’ll be back as soon as I can.’
‘Whatever’ Cheyenne said marching to the front door, Gerard followed her reluctantly shaking his head he could tell the next few months wouldn’t be easy.
‘Why do you have to drive her?’ Cheyenne whined quietly to Frank a few minutes later as Lyn and Gerard said their goodbyes over by Frank’s car.
‘Because it isn’t fair to make her take a cab.’ Frank said ‘you know that.’
‘Do you like her?’ Cheyenne asked
‘She ok now I suppose’ Frank shrugged ‘I haven’t really thought about it but don’t be jealous’ he told her giving her ribs a soft poke.
‘I’m not’ Cheyenne cried ‘it’s just, you’re my friend and she’s not allowed to play with you.’
Frank laughed out loud and pulled her into a hug. ‘Don’t worry’ he whispered ‘You’re my favourite.’
‘I better be’ she said
‘Trust me you are’ he said releasing her ‘I’ll see you later.’
‘Bye Frankie’ she said as he turned and ran towards his car.
Cheyenne watched Lyn through hate filled eyes as Gerard hugged her and Frank opened the car door for her. She watched the two cars drive away in separate directions before heading back inside the house, her fists clenched and her jaw tight. She wasn’t sure why she was so angry or jealous but she had a feeling she would be feeling these two emotions a lot through the coming months.
Gerard sat at Mikey’s kitchen table, nursing a coffee while he explained everything that had happened that day. He could feel a headache coming on as he retold the story and was able to look at it in a different perspective.
‘I can’t believe she’d do that’ Alicia said her hand rubbing her stomach absentmindedly ‘she makes me so angry.’
‘Calm down’ Mikey said worriedly ‘stress isn’t good for the baby.’
‘I’m not stressed’ Alicia snapped ‘I’m annoyed.’
‘Have you told Mom?’
‘Not yet’ Gerard said ‘I will tomorrow.’
‘This is heavy’ Mikey said ‘I can’t believe you have another kid, this is so big.’
‘Times that by five thousand and you’ll only have a fraction of how I feel’ Gerard replied
‘You seem to be taking this pretty calmly’ Alicia commented. She still hadn’t fully forgiven Gerard for the mass pain and disruption he caused to their group five years ago. She didn’t trust him one hundred percent yet and although she loved her brother-in-law her instinct was to always second guess him. For all she knew Gerard could’ve known about Paige years ago.
‘I don’t know how to feel’ He told her honestly ‘This is so big, too big. Everything is going to change and I don’t know if we can handle it’ he said meaning him and Cheyenne.
‘You think Chey won’t cope?’ Alicia said her suspicions slowly deteriorating
‘I don’t know’ Gerard replied ‘its so strange because I really wanted another child, Chey wasn’t so keen on the idea and now I’ve –we’ve got one and it’s not what she wanted and it’s certainly not how I imagined us having another child. I really don’t know how to feel right now. I want to know Paige I do, but I don’t know what her arrival will do to us as a family. I’m afraid. I don’t want to lose Cheyenne.’
‘You won’t’ Mikey insisted ‘You and Cheyenne have been through a lot worse than this and you survived it. She’ll stand by you I know she will, she loves you and she’s a good woman Gee, you know that. There will be major changes but you’ll face them together.’
‘I don’t know’ Gerard said shaking his head ‘you didn’t hear her Mikey she said she had no interest in Paige. What if when Paige is around Cheyenne chooses not to interact with her? I don’t want Paige to feel unwanted and I don’t want Chey to feel uncomfortable in her own home either Paige hasn’t even come to visit yet and already I’m stressing.’
‘Listen to me Gerard’ Alicia said her hand reaching for his across the table, she felt his fingers clasp around hers and she smiled. It had taken ages for her to be able to comfort or receive affection from Gerard without feeling uncomfortable after that night but now it was as easy as breathing again. ‘We will be here for you throughout this whole process, hell I’m thrilled I have another niece although her mother is another thing entirely, but Mikey and I will support you as much as we can won’t we?’ she said turning to her husband
‘No doubt’ he said ‘we’ve got your back. Promise’
‘Thanks’ Gerard said feeling a small amount of reassurance from their words ‘I better get going Cheyenne and I have a lot to discuss.’
Ten minutes later Gerard was on the porch with his sleeping daughter nestled safely in his arms, he kissed Alicia goodbye and nodded to his brother before getting into his car and heading home. As he drove home he wondered and feared what Cheyenne would say about the subject when they were alone.
Past: Early August 2007
‘You know what you are?’ Gerard slurred ‘you’re a fucking bitch she’s my Goddamn daughter too.’
‘Well when you start acting like her father you can see her’ Cheyenne retorted ‘but right now you are unfit Gerard and you’re not coming anywhere near her.’
‘You’re acting like I’m some fucking convict.’
‘No you’re worse. You’re an alcoholic and I don’t want you taking care of my child. You are unstable.’
‘OUR CHILD’ he screamed ‘SHE’S OUR CHILD. HALF MINE AND HALF YOURS’
‘No! she’s all mine’ Cheyenne replied ‘and if you don’t sort yourself out I’ll make that shit legal.’
‘Like hell you will.’
‘I can and I will, so don’t fucking push me Gerard.’ Cheyenne warned ‘I’ll go to the courts so fast it’ll make your head spin.’
‘We’ll fucking see’ he laughed ‘I’m the one with the money, I’ll hire the best lawyer in the world and then what will you do?’
‘I won’t need to do a thing, you’ll turn up drunk and disorderly, make an ass of yourself and I’ll walk away with Jasmine free and easy’ Cheyenne laughed bitterly ‘Now if you don’t mind I have to put MY daughter to bed’
‘You can’t stop me from seeing…’ Cheyenne hung up and threw her mobile phone down onto the sofa. She rubbed her throbbing head and sighed heavily hiding a sob that was begging to escape her body.
‘You alright’ Frank asked quietly. He was lying on the floor on his back with Jasmine sitting on his stomach facing him. She giggled as he tickled her tiny toes and babbled to him in her baby language while they played.
‘Not really’ Cheyenne said offering a small smile.
‘You really going to take him to court?’
‘No’ Cheyenne said quietly ‘I just don’t know what to do with him. He cannot see Jasmine when he’s like that. It’s not safe and I won’t allow it.’
‘No you’re right’ Frank agreed quickly ‘it’s just this must be hard on hi…’
‘Don’t’ Cheyenne snapped her voice coming out louder than she intended ‘don’t you dare. What about me Frank? God damn it! I’m so sick of everyone feeling so sorry for Gerard. Poor Gerard, Cheyenne won’t let him see his daughter. Yeah it’s because he’s a fucking alcoholic. I’m not doing this to be mean, I don’t get a kick out of it. I’m doing it because it’s the right thing to do. I’m her mother and I’m supposed to protect her.’
‘I’m sorry’ Frank said sitting up and crossing his legs under him, he stood Jasmine up in front of him and held on to her waist ‘I didn’t mean to make you more upset I just meant if I had a beautiful daughter like Mini and I wasn’t allowed to see her it would drive me nuts. I’d be angry too.’
‘Its his choice’ Cheyenne reminded him as she sunk to the floor in front of Jasmine who was now bouncing in Frank’s arms, her little knees bending and straightening as Frank held her steady. ‘I just want to do what’s best for her.’
‘She needs her father Chey’ Frank told her honestly.
‘She has you’ Cheyenne pointed out holding her hands out to Jasmine who gripped her mother’s fingers tightly.
‘She does’ Frank said ‘but I’m not her father she needs a steady male role model Cheyenne its important for her to have that, you know that just as well as anyone else.’
‘And you think Gerard is a steady role model?’
‘Not now he isn’t but he was in the beginning and he could be again’ Frank said ‘I know what happened between you two, I’ve heard both sides of the story and there’s a lot of confusion from both of you, he’s betrayed you and your trust and you weren’t sure what you wanted and that messed him up Chey…’
‘So you’re saying his current state is my fault’ Cheyenne interjected
‘No I’m just…you guys have to work this out for Jasmine’s sake’ Frank said ‘she deserves better.’
Cheyenne looked at her smiling, dribbling daughter and knew that Frank was right. Jasmine did deserve better she deserved parents that didn’t argue and could agree on what was best for her.
‘I don’t know how to communicate with him anymore’ Cheyenne said sadly ‘I remember a time when we were so connected, or so I thought, but now I don’t even know how to have a conversation without screaming at him. I don’t want a drunk around my daughter Frank.’
‘Do you want me to talk to him?’ Frank offered he hated seeing her upset but he also hated the fact that Gerard was missing out on seeing his daughter grow. He wouldn’t miss watching his own daughter grow up for anything in the world.
‘No’ Cheyenne said ‘you do enough for me. Don’t you get tired of rescuing me Frank? Don’t you get sick of being there for me?’
‘No’ He said smiling as Jasmine gurgled happily ‘I’ll never get tired’
‘Are you sure you don’t want to take me up on my offer?’ she said removing her hands from her daughters, she saw Frank tighten his grip on Jasmine and she smiled. He was so protective.
‘What offer?’ He said his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to remember what she was referring to.
‘You know the one I made you before Jasmine was born, for us to be together and pass her off as yours.’ She said casually a sly grin forming on her lips.
Frank laughed at her hoping she was joking as not to offend her but she laughed too and he knew it was ok.
‘I would but everyone knows she’s Gerard’s now it’s a little too late.’
‘Shame’ she said talking to her daughter who bounced excitedly as Cheyenne’s attention was on her. ‘isn’t it baby? Yes it is’
‘Are you going to come to mommy?’ Cheyenne said clapping her hands in front of her while Jasmine bounced excitedly
‘Whoa ok’ Frank laughed at the baby’s enthusiasm ‘take it easy’ He laughed as he held Jasmine tightly and she bobbed up and down as she reached out for her mother.
‘Let her go Frank’ Cheyenne said
‘Are you sure?’ he said worriedly ‘I don’t want her to fall’
‘She won’t’ Cheyenne said ‘look at her she’s balanced, plus she’s gotta fall sometimes.’
‘That doesn’t make me feel better’ Frank moaned slightly
‘Trust me’ Cheyenne whispered. Frank slowly and reluctantly released his hold on Jasmine’s waist, he grimaced when she wobbled but she found her balance and stood unaided while Cheyenne smiled broadly and Frank worried from behind her.
‘Come on Mini’ Cheyenne half squealed ‘come to mommy’
Jasmine hands were clasped in front of her and she was giggling as she watched her mother clapping her on in encouragement
‘Come on pretty baby’ Cheyenne said holding out her hands ‘just take one step’
‘Oh man this is making me nervous’ Frank whispered
‘shh don’t put her off’ Cheyenne replied holding out her hands a few inches from Jasmine ‘Just one step for mommy.’
Frank watched anxiously as his God daughter wobbled uncertainly on her young legs, he could actually feel his heart beating in anticipation. He had his arms either side of her ready to catch her should she fall. He felt that he would burst from the suspense. He lifted his eyes and they met Cheyenne’s head on and he felt his heart rate speed up, he could see the excitement in her eyes but for some reason he knew that it wasn’t the anticipation of Jasmine’s first steps that caused the butterflies in his stomach it was the connection he felt when he looked into her eyes. There was something about her. Cheyenne averted her eyes to her daughter but Frank continued to stare at her unsure of why he didn’t want to look away, he wanted to look into her eyes again.
And then it happened Jasmine took a slow but deliberate step forward, Cheyenne gasped and Frank held back a whoop of surprise as not to scare the walking child, she took another step, her giggling filling the quiet room and then she took one more before falling. Frank lunged to catch her but Cheyenne was faster and she caught her daughter pulling her into a hug and finally allowing herself to squeal in delight. Cheyenne stood and Frank followed and he pulled the mother and daughter into his arms hugging them both.
‘Well done Mini’ he exclaimed proudly his arm snaking around Cheyenne body pulling her close to him while his other arm rested on Mini’s back. ‘You just walked all by yourself. Yeah you did, you little genius’
‘That was so cool’ Cheyenne said laughing happily ‘she walked my little baby took her first steps.’
‘I’m so glad I was here to see it’ Frank said stroking Jasmine’s hair he kissed her head and then kissed Cheyenne’s cheek.
Cheyenne smiled as Frank’s lips touched her skin and Cheyenne felt herself leaning into him not wanting his lips to leave her, he pulled back and Cheyenne felt herself frown slightly.
‘I’ve got to go’ Frank said reluctantly ‘I’ve been here for hours’ he held his hands out to Jasmine who reached for him ‘but it was worth it to see you my little angel’ he said as he placed kisses on her face ‘Uncle Frank is very proud of you’
‘We love having you here Frank’ Cheyenne said taking Jasmine back and placing her back to the floor, she surrounded her daughter with a few toys before walking Frank to the door.
‘I can’t remember the last time I felt that excited’ Frank laughed.
‘Me neither’ Cheyenne agreed’ man do we need to get out more’
‘I wouldn’t change spending time with you two for anything’
‘Me neither’ Cheyenne agreed ‘when are you coming over again?’
‘Real soon’ he promised pulling her into a hug. ‘Promise me something’
‘Anything’ Cheyenne said breathing in his familiar smell of cigarettes, gum and aftershave.
‘What? Why?’ she said trying to pull away but Frank held her close.
‘You need to tell him that his daughter took her first steps today. Its something her father should know’ he told her softly.
‘He’s probably passed out by now’
‘Please Cheyenne’ Frank begged ‘do it for me’
‘Fine’ Cheyenne agreed ‘If you want me to’
‘I do’ he said kissing her shoulder and then her cheek before pulling back ‘it’s important’
‘He doesn’t deserve a friend like you’ Cheyenne said shaking her head.
Frank said nothing but shrugged his shoulders. Maybe Cheyenne was right but they all made mistakes and maybe Frank was too soft when it came to his friends but the bottom line was this wasn’t about his friendship with Gerard it was about Jasmine and she deserved to have both her parents involved in her life and maybe this is what Gerard needed to get him out of his stupor.
‘I’m outta here’ Frank said opening the front door ‘Goodnight Cheyenne, look after my beautiful God daughter.’
‘I will’ she said smiling at him
‘And don’t break your promise’
‘Bye Frankie’ she said closing the door behind him. She waited for a while staring at the door before remembering her unattended daughter in the other room.
‘Right where I left you’ Cheyenne said as she scooped her daughter off the floor ‘Let’s go call your daddy sweetheart. I made uncle Frank a promise.’
Present: September 2012
‘Can we talk?’ Gerard asked as he walked into the master bedroom he shared with Cheyenne. He had put Jasmine in her pyjamas and tucked her into bed before coming to face his girlfriend.
‘If we have to’ Cheyenne replied making a mental note of the page number of the book she was reading before placing it on the nightstand.
‘Don’t you think we need to talk?’ he asked curiously as he undid his jeans and slid them to the floor.
‘I don’t know what else there is to say on the subject’ Cheyenne said with a shrug ‘you had an affair with Lyn and now you have another child and now we have to incorporate both of them into our life and family. What else is there to say?’
‘I want to know how you feel’ he said sitting on the bed and taking her hands in his.
‘I already told you how I feel’ Cheyenne said softy ‘I don’t want this Gerard I don’t want Lyn in our lives and now she’s here permanently. Do you have any idea how much I hate that woman, how much I hated you for sleeping with her? And now there’s a constant reminder of your infidelity in the form of a child that you want to see. Do you know how much this hurts?’ she said her voice breaking at the end.
‘I’m sorry’ Gerard said pulling her into a hug ‘I am I’m so sorry for everything, I hate that I’ve let you down again. This is all my fault. Do you hate me?’ he asked quietly
‘No’ Cheyenne sniffed ‘I don’t hate you I just…I don’t know I….’ she trailed off not knowing how to explain how she felt. She didn’t hate him, she hated the hurt that she was feeling, she hated that all those past emotions came rushing back when she saw Lyn. She hated that now that Lyn was around again she couldn’t feel that she could trust Gerard and she hated the uncertainty of their future.
‘I need you’
‘What?’ Cheyenne asked he had spoken so quietly she wasn’t sure if he had actually said anything
‘I need you’ he repeated ‘and I know this is hard for you and I understand if its too much so I think that maybe Paige shouldn’t come here, maybe I’ll just go and visit them in Arizona.’
‘Them?’ Cheyenne said ‘so this isn’t about Paige, it’s about Lyn you just want to sneak off and spend time with her.’
‘What are you talking about?’ Gerard asked confused at how the conversation had taken such a sudden turn.
‘Don’t try and deny it all you want to do is rekindle your affair with that whore.’ Cheyenne said pushing him away from her and getting off the bed
‘Don’t be ridiculous’ Gerard cried ‘I have no interest in Lyn this is about Paige, I want to know my daughter.’
‘You already have a daughter she’s asleep next door, what’s so special about this Paige?’
‘She’s my kid Cheyenne’ Gerard said trying to calm his voice ‘that’s what’s special about her she’s my flesh and blood the same as Jasmine.’
‘Don’t you dare’ Cheyenne hissed ‘don’t you dare compare that child to our daughter. They are not the same, Jasmine came from our love and that Paige came from some seedy affair you had with your ex, don’t you ever say that they’re the same.’
‘This is why I don’t want Paige to come here’ Gerard said speaking slowly choosing his words carefully ‘I don’t want her here if you’re going to treat her like some outcast. It’s not her fault how she was conceived Cheyenne and I won’t let you punish her for that.’
‘Then its best that she doesn’t come here then’ Cheyenne said evenly her arms folded tight across her chest.
‘I knew this would be hard’ He began ‘I knew it would take a lot for you to understand but I thought even if you hated this that I would have your support. Do you know how bad I feel that I missed Jasmine’s birth, that I missed her first steps and her first word? Do you have any idea how that eats me up inside and now I find out that I have another daughter and I wasn’t there to see all those events for her either. I have two daughters and I raised neither of them, Frank practically raised Jasmine and Marcus obviously raised Paige. Dealing with those things over Jasmine was hard and now I have to go through them again with Paige. I am so scared Cheyenne. I have no idea if this kid will like me or if I’ll be able to be a father to her too when I’ve only, in the last three years been a proper father to Jasmine. I have a thousand and one thoughts going through my head a feeling of terror, mixed with apprehension mixed with excitement and all I want from you is for you to be there to hold my hand while I deal with this. You know you haven’t once asked me how I felt about all of this, how this maybe affecting me and yes I know this is all my doing so maybe its selfish of me to want you to ask how I feel but I thought you cared enough about me to do so. I guess not’ he said sadly ‘I’ll do this by myself Cheyenne, I won’t ask anymore of you.’
Cheyenne said nothing but kept her arms folded to show her defiance of the situation and to hide her trembling hands. She watched as Gerard gathered up his night clothes and left the room without another word. She waited to hear the door to his den close behind him before she broke down and cried quietly.
Past: September 2007
‘This is a disaster’ Cheyenne complained to Ray
‘It’s not so bad’ He replied with a shrug ‘everyone’s having fun.’
‘No they’re not, its awful’ Cheyenne cried sinking into Donna’s kitchen chair and bursting into tears
‘Hey don’t be upset’ Ray said rushing to her side.
‘Why shouldn’t I be?’ she sobbed ‘its Jasmine’s 1st birthday and he’s drunk. He promised me he wouldn’t drink today and I believed him.’
‘He can’t control himself Chey.’
‘Not even for his daughter?’
‘It looks that way.’ Ray said sadly
‘This whole thing was a mistake I don’t even know why I agreed to have this party.’
‘You did it for Donna, she misses her Grandchild.’
‘I just want to go home’ Cheyenne said wiping her eyes ‘I don’t want to be here anymore’
‘Come on’ Ray said helping her up ‘stay a little while longer at least let Jasmine blow her candles or dribble on them’ he said with a laugh.
‘It is an awesome cake’ Cheyenne said ‘it would be a shame for her not to get to blow the candle, plus it would be a nice memory of the day I suppose.’
‘That’s the spirit’ Ray said ‘let’s make the best of it.’
Cheyenne wiped her eyes and pasted a smile on her face as Ray walked her back into the living room where the family sat around talking and watching Jasmine toddle around playing with her new gifts.
‘Come here sugar’ Gerard hiccupped grabbing Cheyenne’s arm and pulling her on to his lap. ‘You’re so pretty.’
‘Get off’ Cheyenne cried pushing him away and scrambling off his lap ‘what is the matter with you?’
‘Nothing’ Gerard said innocently a dirty grin forming on his lips ‘I don’t know why you’re acting so frigid lately, everyone knows we fuck, the evidence is right over there’ he said pointing to his daughter who was having something small taken out of her mouth by Jamia.
‘Gerard Way you watch your mouth’ Donna gasped ‘and show the mother of your child some respect.’
‘I’ll show her more than respect’ he giggled
‘Cut it out’ Mikey warned him ‘stop being such an asshole.’
‘oooooh!’ what’s got everyone’s knickers in a twist?’ he slurred ‘I’m just tryna have a bit of fun.’ He stood up looked around at his family and sneered ‘fucking losers’ And then he marched out of the room ignoring Jasmine, who was toddling towards him, her arms outstretched and reaching for him.
‘I got you Mini’ Ray said picking the toddler up in his arms he lifted her pink t-shirt and proceeded to blow on her stomach making her squeal in delight.
‘I’m going to go talk to him’ Cheyenne sighed ‘this has got to stop’
‘I don’t think that’s a good idea’ Alicia told her ‘he’s not in the right frame of mind to listen.’
‘When is he ever?’ Cheyenne cried ‘I’m done tip-toeing around him I don’t care anymore’
She found Gerard in the kitchen resting against the counter a cigarette dangling from his lips, he smiled when she entered.
‘Hello there mother of my child. I like the cake you made’ he said motioning to the butterfly shaped cake on the table ‘it very pretty just like you.’
‘I asked you for one thing today Gerard’ Cheyenne said
‘Oh don’t start’ he moaned ‘Jesus you’re such a fucking nag that’s all you do nowadays nag nag nag. It’s getting boring.’
‘So is your drinking’ Cheyenne shot back ‘big fucking yawn, same lame story.’
‘Fuck you’ Gerard spat ‘I don’t have to listen to you.’
‘Not me no but you’ll have to listen to a judge. I’m suing for full custody of Jasmine.’
‘No you’re fucking not’ He told her as he exhaled a line of smoke
‘I am’ she said ‘I’ll make sure you have regular supervised visit but that’s the best you can hope for.’
‘Supervised visits? What are you talking about?’ he said throwing his unfinished cigarette in the sink
‘There is no way in this world I’m letting you see Jasmine unsupervised. You’re a deadbeat loser and an unfit father’
Gerard growled and lunged for Cheyenne, despite his drunkenness he was on her in a second.
‘You listen to me you little bitch’ he whispered his hands gripping her upper arms tight ‘She’s my kid and I’ll decided when I want to see her and you cannot stop me’
‘Gerard let me go you’re hurting me’ Cheyenne whimpered her eyes full of shock as his fingers dug into her flesh.
‘Do. You. Understand?’ he said slowly his dark eyes boring into hers. She nodded her head and Gerard seized the opportunity to force his lips on hers. Cheyenne squealed as she tried to push him off, she could smell the stench of stale alcohol on his breath and she tried her best not to gag as his dry lips scraped harshly against her mouth.
‘Stop fighting it you know you want to’ Gerard mumbled against her mouth as Cheyenne continued to fight against his hold on her.
‘What the fuck are you doing?’ Frank demanded. Gerard had been so involved in his assault that he hadn’t heard the front door close. Frank stood by the kitchen door, his skin pink from the cold weather but his eyes were black with anger. His eyes shot from Gerard’s smug face to Cheyenne’s quivering form and he felt a fury that he’s never felt before.
‘Oh look its Frank, our saviour, the super dad’ Gerard mocked pushing Cheyenne towards him, she stumbled backwards and Frank caught her in a firm hold steadying her.
‘Are you ok?’ he asked concern filling his eyes. Cheyenne nodded quietly as silent tears fell from her eyes.
‘Go join the others in the living room, I’ll be right there.’ He told her his cold fingers stroking the hair from her eyes.
‘Frank’ she said uncertainly she couldn’t deal with another confrontation and she certainly didn’t want a fight.
‘I’ll be right there’ he said giving her a wink and a smile. He waited for her to leave before he turned on Gerard
‘What the hell is wrong with you?’ He growled ‘manhandling her like that’
‘Spare me your lecture’ Gerard replied ‘I barely touched her.’
‘I’m warning you Gerard’
‘You’re warning me?’ Gerard smirked walking over to him. He stood over Frank looking down on him through drunken eyes ‘what the fuck are you going to do?’
‘You know what I’ll do’ Frank remarked calmly although under his skin his blood was boiling at what he just witnessed and everything he had witnessed over the years. He had had enough. Gerard mishandling Cheyenne was the last straw.
‘Show me’ Gerard challenged pushing Frank hard in the chest making him stumble back. Frank caught his balance, his fists clenched tightly by his side the rage inside begging to be released. He took a deep breath to calm the adrenaline that was now viciously pumping through his veins. He wouldn’t rise to the bait because if he did he had a feeling with all the bullshit that Gerard had put them through that if he hit him just once he wouldn’t be able to stop.
‘Listen to me very carefully’ Frank said his voice low but clear ‘if I ever see you put your hands on her like that again I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry you’ll be. I’ve been on your side from the beginning doing everything I can to keep you in Jasmine’s life but every time I get you so far you fuck it up so I’m done’ Frank said ‘I’m done helping you, I’m done supporting you, I’m done with all of it. Cheyenne’s right, they’re better off without you.’
Gerard growled and threw himself at Frank. His right hand was balled into a tight fist aimed straight at his former friend’s face, his hand connected with Frank’s jaw and sent them both flying onto the kitchen table. There was a loud crash as the table collapsed under their weight and Frank fought viciously against Gerard’s hands that tried to grip his throat. Loud grunts filled the kitchen as both men gave over to the adrenaline soaring through their veins. They struggled against each other gripping, scratching and rolling over one other both trying to get the upper hand. Another loud bang signalled the toppling of one of the chairs but neither of them noticed as they fought against each other both thinking of tearing the other one’s head off. After what felt like an endless battle Gerard got the better of Frank, grabbing a fistful of his hair he slammed his head down on the hard floor, Frank cried out as his head hit the cool tiles and white flashed before his eyes. Striking out blindly he managed a left hook to Gerard’s face it wasn’t the best of punches but it was enough to send Gerard rolling off of him onto the remains of the table.
‘What the hell are you doing?’ Ray roared he had heard the commotion from the living room and was not expecting the carnage that he found in the kitchen.
‘He started it’ Frank panted he was sitting up now and had both hands clutching the back of his head.
‘Loser’ Gerard groaned as he lay flat out on his back his left hand touching the fresh wound on his lip.
‘What’s going on in he..’ Cheyenne sentenced died on her lips as she gasped. The table was on a heap on the floor, two of the dining chairs had been knocked down and the remains of Jasmine’s birthday cake lay smeared over both men and the kitchen floor.
‘What have you done?’ she cried her hands flying to her mouth. Frank followed her gaze and saw what they had done, he saw the pink icing on his t-shirt and jeans it was everywhere and some was even smeared into Gerard’s hair
‘Oh Cheyenne I’m so sorry’ Frank said as he struggled to his feet ‘I didn’t know, I didn’t mean to.’
‘I spent hours making that cake’ she whispered she wasn’t looking at him it was more like she was looking through him.
‘Are you happy now?’ Mikey cried, he had came out of the living room to see what all the shouting was about and found the chaos just like Ray and Cheyenne had ‘Huh? Gerard are you fucking happy?’ he asked kicking his brother’s foot. ‘You’ve ruined Jasmine’s birthday’
‘She’ll have others’ Gerard said reaching into his pocket and pulling out his box of cigarette’s
‘How could you do this?’ Cheyenne wept ‘I worked hard on that cake she didn’t even get to blow the candle’
‘I’m sorry Cheyenne’ Frank said ‘I should’ve controlled myself I didn’t mean to destroy her cake I know you spend time making it.’
‘Here’ Gerard laughed tossing her the matches ‘light one of those and get her to blow it, she won’t even know the difference’
‘You asshole’ Cheyenne cried, now it was her turn to get her hands on Gerard, she wanted nothing than to rip that smug smile form his lips. Ray restrained her as the urge to hurt Gerard pulsated through her. She wrestled against his strong hold, while tears of frustration and anger poured down her cheeks.
‘You’ve ruined everything’ she screamed as she clawed at Ray’s hands to let her go ‘I hate you Gerard I fucking hate you and I’ll never forgive you for this, never.’
Gerard said nothing, he just lay there and smoked his cigarette while the other’s rushed around Cheyenne trying to soothe her, his mother came in at one point and yelled at him, he could see the horrified expression on her face, but he couldn’t hear her voice, he just saw her silent lips rapidly moving above him. Eventually he turned his head to the side, he could see into the hallway now and Jamia had packed up all of the gifts and were taking them outside, Ray was helping Cheyenne into her coat and then Frank appeared he was holding Jasmine, she was laughing and smiling unaware of the tension that had happened in the kitchen. Gerard was glad about that she needn’t see things like that. He watched as Jasmine kissed Frank on his lips, a cute baby kiss that made Frank smile and Jasmine clapped to herself obviously proud of her actions. If it wasn’t for the pain from the cut on his lip Gerard would have smiled at their affection, he wanted a kiss too, he wanted to hold his baby on her first birthday but he couldn’t move, the alcohol and the adrenaline had made his body weak and he was growing more tired as each second ticked past. And then they were all there, every person close to him was in the hallway, he couldn’t hear what they were saying but they were all grouped close together and then they all laughed at something, not a roaring throw your head back moment but they all shared a giggle and he was lying on the floor on the outside of the group. He watched them all say their goodbyes and leave and as his eyes closed under the weight of the alcohol he realised that not one of them looked back to see if he was okay, not one of them bothered to look over their shoulders as they left and he knew that he had finally done it. He had finally pushed them all too far and in that moment he knew what it felt like to be truly alone.
Present: September 2012
‘I’m sorry’ Cheyenne said as she walked into the kitchen. She had stayed up most of the night contemplating the events of the day before and going over Gerard’s words in her head. She had felt so awful that she couldn’t sleep her mind wouldn’t allow her eyes to close and grant her the escape of her behaviour so she stayed awake all night and waited for the day. She waited until it was light outside and to hear Gerard’s pottering around in the kitchen before she finally got out of bed to speak to him. She found him at the kitchen table nursing a black coffee, the morning paper open in front of him. He had dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. He had been crying and her heart dropped when his eyes met hers. She walked to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulder’s pressing herself into his back.
‘You’re right’ she admitted ‘I never once stopped to think about how you feel about all of this, I’ve been incredibly selfish’ she said kissing his cheek ‘I’m just afraid Gerard I’m afraid that you’ll meet this kid and not regret having an affair with Lyn because of what you gained from it and I can’t bear the thought of you thinking of that night as a blessing and not as a mistake. I just can’t.’
‘How can you ever think that?’ Gerard asked pulling her arms and guiding her to sit on his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close ‘No matter what happens I will always regret what happened with Lyn. Sleeping with her nearly lost me my whole family and nothing not even the birth of a child can make me not regret the biggest mistake I ever made.’
‘Really?’ Cheyenne asked ‘she’s going to be a great kid, she’s half you after all and you’re going to feel lucky and you’ll think…’
‘I’ll think that I’m blessed to have another child but I will never think of that time in my life as anything other then a terrible mistake. Trust me.’
‘Are you disappointed in me?’ she asked ‘for my lack of support, I’ve probably lost major girlfriend points right?’
‘No’ Gerard laughed ‘you certainly haven’t lost girlfriend points I know this is hard and I can’t blame you for anything you do or don’t do.’
‘I’ll be better’ she said ‘I’ll do my best to understand, I’ll try really hard and I am with you, all the way.’
‘Thank you’ he said kissing her cheek ‘that’s all I needed to hear.’
A/N – Hello all as you can see this is and unusually long chapter for me it’s in fact two chapters that I have merged into one. Since I forgot to post the first half of this very long chapter over two week ago I didn’t want to risk forgetting to post the follow up so I smashed them together and made this. I hope you liked it. Thanks to all of you who reviewed and rated my last chapter, I appreciate it very much. Stay tuned please. Reign xx