Gerards last letter to Frank (Frerard)
I am writing this letting from the bottom of my heart on how truly sorry I am that things between un just did not go the way it should have.
When I first met you, I could never have thought of the crazy life style we would lead and how it would affect my life so much. You were such a crazy mother fucker that could never be tamed, but that’s what I liked about you. You made ma happy when I was down, you got me through times that I thought I never would, and before long I knew that I was falling for you.
I knew you felt it too, we would kiss on stage, sleep in each others arms and even when we was not on tour spend all the spare time we hand together. This was before things got complicated.
My past caught up with me and before long I was addicted to every drug known to man and my health was spiralling downwards. I had to leave my chemical romance and leave you all behind without a goodbye or any type of warning. You all kept phoning me and texting me and asking after me but I couldn’t bare to let you see what I had become. I was ashamed and therefore drunk my self silly to stop the pain in my heart that I had made with blocking you out. I missed your lips, your arms and most of all, your cheeky smile, but I couldn’t go back to let you see the mess i had become.
I decided to get clean after three years, knowing I couldn’t bare to be apart from you any longer, but this led to the hardest part of my life I would ever lead. They found a lump in my lung and was diagnosed with lung cancer. I wouldn’t tell anyone, praying I would get through it, find you and hold you in my arms once more. But after a three month battle my body had become to weak and I am now waiting for death to come and take me and save me from this harsh world. But before I leave and wait for you in heaven I need you to know how i feel about you.
You are my world Frankie, and I will wait in heaven until you come and wake me from my sorrow filled coma, because without you, my life was nothing and will be nothing until you return. I need to feel your head upon my chest and, your breathe, on my neck. I need to see your cheeky smile and they way you bite your lip ring when you are nervous or scared. So until this day I will look over you and keep you safe until its your turn to join me.
I love you Frankie,
Good night, and so long
Your Darling Gerard,