Categories > Celebrities > Beatles > The argument

The old married couple

by TheBeatleKeeper 0 Reviews

Ringo and George are in the firing line of Paul and John's argument

Category: Beatles - Rating: PG - Genres: Angst,Humor,Romance - Characters: George Harrison,John Lennon,Paul McCartney,Ringo Starr - Published: 2011/05/30 - Updated: 2011/05/30 - 641 words - Complete

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1. The old married couple

Abbey Road studios was normally a quiet place (when the boys weren't playing that is) However, today was not quiet and here is why.

George had woken up to the sound of a glass smashing and realising it wasn't normal for a glass to smash at 6:30 in the morning (unless Brian had been at the gin and tonic again) he decided to investigate. The smash had also woken up Ringo and both of them had traced the sound of yet more smashing glasses to Paul and John's room. It became quite clear to both boys, after Paul was awake enough to bellow as many swear words as he could at John, that both men had fallen out.

By mid morning, things weren't any better

"Are they still arguing?" Brian said, walking into the lounge, a pile of old newspapers up to his chin. Ringo and George nodded in unison, large ripples appearing in their tea from the constant banging coming from behind the wall.

"For the love of God, what are they even arguing about?" Brian asked, setting the old newspapers on the table.

"Dunno" George replied, "probably about commitment issues"
Ringo shuddered
"Well don't let them kill each other too long. We need them alive for the concert tomorrow. And by the way, George, the TV is playing up today. The repairman advised us not to use it. Whatever you do, don't turn it on"

"Yeah whatever" George replied, though it was clear that neither him nor Ringo had listened to a word Brian had said. They were too worried about the fifth ice age that had started next door.
"Well, shall you go or shall I?" asked Ringo
George paused, considering the offer. It wasn't very fair making Ringo risk his life without a fair deal.
"Let's toss for it"
He took a coin out of his pocket and flicked it
"Heads!"
"Tails!"

They followed the coin with their eyes as it fell, bounced off the floor and rolled onto it's side, touching neither heads or tails. George bit his lip.

"Rock, paper, scissors?" he asked blatantly

"We haven't got time for this" said Ringo miserably, "someone will be dead by the time we sort this out"
George stood up dramatically.
"Then there's only one thing for it!"

"We go together?"
"Well I was going to say we ring a priest, but ok"

***

Let's get back to John and Paul. By now, the two were literally at each other's throats, yelling like demons and getting through about a hundred glasses per second.

"...Plus your nothing but skin and bone! I am NOT working with some mad-cap poet who looks like he's going to drop dead any minute!" Paul yelled

"Excuse me, I seem to recall you ASKING me to get this thin!" John fired back

"That incident with Cynthia's gynecologist has nothing to do with this!"

George and Ringo were forced onto their hands and knees to avoid being whacked in the head with a glass. But John and Paul were so preoccupied with themselves, they didn't seem to notice the two withering men in the corner, watching them fight.

"Do you think they'll break up the band?" Ringo whispered to George

"Nah" George replied, "I can't see John doing all that paper work"

"Oh yeah Paul, and what about MY womanly needs!?"

"You never know" Ringo whispered back, "It may all blow over in half an hour"

HALF AN HOUR LATER

"...You think everything's about you ALL the time. Just me, me, me. AND you brag about EVERYTHING, like when you told me you were bisexual!"

John gasped,
"WHEN DID I TELL YOU I WAS BISEXUAL!?"

"YOU SHOUTED IT OUT WHILE WE WERE MAKING LOVE!"

"We've got to do something" George groaned
Ringo sighed, "Agreed"

"I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT TURTLE WAS MY WOODSTOCK!"
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