FicWad

“You see what you do to me,” Frank groaned as Paulina pulled away, smirking, laying her cheek against Frank’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. It was the third night that Paulina had crept, half-nude, into his room.

“Mhmm…” she hummed, breathing in the smell of soap and slight nicotine. With much difficulty, she pushed herself up, sitting with a leg on either side of Frank’s hips. “Gotta go,” she said, smirking, beginning to dismount. Frank grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back down.

“Nope,” he said, connecting their mouths again. “You stay here.”

“I’m tired,” she said, feigning a yawn and pulling away again, though without much conviction.

“You can sleep with me, then,” he told her, grabbing the comforter at their feet and yanking it up to their chins. “There,” he said, pulling her close, burying his face in the crook of her neck. Paulina chuckled, considering pulling away again.

“Really,” she told him, making a weak attempt at escaping his grasp, but settling back into his embrace when he refused to relent. “I want to sleep.”

“Sleep,” he said, laying his head sideways on the pillow and looking at Paulina, smile on his face. She smiled back, thinking.

She could stay; she obviously had him. But…maybe once he had her, he’d drop her like a line. If she stayed tonight, he’d know she was his, and he wouldn’t want her anymore. Paulina needed him to need her. She had to leave. She rolled quickly out of his reach and sprinted for the door, stopping briefly to lift her hand in goodbye before running out.

Once back in her room, she curled up on her bed and bit her lip. She wanted to go back, but if it was bad to stay, it was worse to go back. That was the ultimate weakness. Frank would come get her. He’d come for her. He would. Comforted by this thought, Paulina fell asleep.

She awoke hours later to the sound of her bedroom door creaking open. The room was black as pitch, and she could barely see the figure, illuminated briefly by the sliver of moonlight pouring in from the hall window before the door closed quickly. She smirked, then recognized the figure, her stomach sinking.

“P’lina!” Gerard said, too loudly, obviously drunk. “G’t over here!”

“Gerard, you’re drunk. Go to bed.”

“I don’ need to go t’bed!” he yelled, advancing, grabbing Paulina’s arm, and yanking her out of her bed. “You need t’…get on y’r knees!”

“Ow, stop!” Paulina yelled when he pushed down on her shoulder. She wrenched away, rubbing her arm where he’d grabbed it.

“Oh, so now y’r pullin’ away, too? I’m not good ‘nough f’r you now?”

“What--”

“Don’ ask questions!” He backhanded her, sending her crumpled to the floor, cheek stinging.

“Bastard!” Paulina gasped, hand flying to her face.

“Is this what you wan’, Lin’sey?” Gerard spun around, yelling at the ceiling. Paulina wondered how much he’d had to drink. “Is this what you’re so scared I’m doin’ behind y’r back? Y’re fuckin’ right, you bitch!”

“Gerard, I think you should go to bed. You can call Lindsey in the morning and work this out when you‘re a little more clear-headed.” Paulina stood and grabbed his shoulders, trying to steady him.

“Don’ touch me!” He shoved Paulina so she stumbled backwards into the wall. Her back bumped it once, then again when Gerard advanced on her, shoving her once more. “This is y’r fault!”

“I--”

“Don’ ask quest’ns!” Gerard grabbed a fistful of Paulina’s hair, yanking her head back, her neck making a snapping noise.

“I wasn’t--” He yanked again.

“Shut up! It’s y’r fault!” He spun and threw her, the smaller girl stumbling to her bed, shins crashing against the wooden frame.

“No, it‘s not! Leave me alone, Gerard! Go sleep it off!” Paulina exploded, trying to grab his wrists to keep him from hitting her again. Of course, he was too strong for her, throwing her at the closed door like a rag doll. In two strides, he was at the door, grabbing a fistful of the younger girl’s short, black hair, yanking her to her feet. He pressed his lips against hers, their teeth gnashing together, his tongue shoving messily into her mouth. Paulina squirmed, trying to wrench out of his grip, but he was too strong.

“Gerard, stop!” she managed to mumble around his mouth. He ignored her.

Paulina took a deep breath and shoved with all of her might, catching the inebriated Gerard by surprise, causing him to stumble back. Paulina tried to open her door, but Gerard had locked it on his way in, causing her to fumble. He grabbed the back of her neck, dragging her to the bed.

“I’m g’nna show you who’s the fucking boss, you bitch!” he yelled, spinning and pitching the girl toward the wall opposite. She tried to stop herself by turning back to Gerard, but she just stumbled again, her head striking the plaster. Stars and light popped into her vision, and Paulina’s eyes rolled back in her head. She saw Gerard approaching, but could do nothing to save herself.

“Please,” she muttered, her head tipping forward onto her chest. Paulina’s eyes remained open, staring absently at Gerard’s bare feet. Somewhere, very far away, it seemed, a door opened, and fuzzy sounding footsteps entered the room, pounding across the wood floor. Another pair of feet joined Gerard’s in her darkening vision, stirring her mind back into consciousness. Paulina looked up in time to see Frank’s fist collide with Gerard’s cheekbone, the sickening sound of bone-on-bone interrupting the taller man’s drunken rage.

“Don’t you fucking touch her.” Paulina buried her face in Frank’s shoulder when he bent down to pick her off the floor.

He lifted her easily, cradling the small girl in his arms like a child, and carrying her out of her bedroom and down the hall to his own. With one arm, he pulled the covers away and set Paulina on the bed, bringing the comforter up to her shoulders and tucking it tightly around Paulina’s small frame. He placed a light hand on her forehead, leaning down and kissing her cheek before standing once more.

“I’m gonna go make sure he gets to bed,” Frank said, patting Paulina’s shoulder. She whimpered and grabbed his hand, placing his palm against her cheek.

“No!” She pulled him closer. “Stay with me, Frankie,” she whined, kissing the tips of his fingers.

“Don’t call me--” he began.

“Frankie, please,” she continued. “Don’t leave me. Please.” He hesitated. Paulina looked up at him sadly, lightly tugging on his arm, tempting him to lie down with her. Finally, Frank sighed, crawling in beside Paulina under the covers. He slipped his arm around her body, pulling her close and breathing deeply.

“You’re still not wearing clothes,” he noted, hand roaming up and down Paulina’s bare stomach. She shook her head.

“You either,” she said, the very tips of her fingers just managing to slip beneath the waistband of Frank’s boxers. His hips twitched as her palm rested on the sensitive spot right below his stomach. He cleared his throat. His hand slid around to her lower back, moving farther and farther up, hovering just below where her bra hooked.

Paulina reached up and laid a palm at the nape of Frank’s neck, bringing his face closer to her own. She smiled into the familiar sensation of his mouth on hers, the way the tips of their noses brushed, and she could taste his last cigarette, faintly. It was nice, even if she couldn’t feel what she knew she should have been feeling. Damn Gerard, she thought bitterly, fingers winding tightly into Frank’s hair and pulling a bit harder than she’d meant to. If not for Gerard, she’d be able to feel. She could be intimate with Frank and not be numb. She didn’t want to be numb.

The gap between Paulina’s bra and Frank’s hand closed, and his fingers began to fumble with the snaps. After a moment, he managed to slip the straps off her arms and toss the garment on the floor beside the bed. His hands paused at her hips, fingers brushing the waistband of the penultimate barrier between them.

“It’s okay,” she assured him, her stomach twisting, not with passion, but with nerves. She felt that she should tell him. Frank should know what Gerard had done to her. If they were going to…well, he should know. “But,” she added, once she was completely nude. “There’s…something I have to tell you.” Her hand dipped deeper into Frank’s boxers at this; she hoped to gloss over this. But Frank grabbed her wrist and interlocked their fingers.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” he murmured, kissing her forehead. Paulina smiled. When Frank urged her to continue, the smile faded.

“It’s not that,” she told him. She brought the hand in his hair to her lips, beginning to nibble on the nail of her index finger. He pulled it away and raised an eyebrow. “I--Gerard…”

“I don’t want to talk about Gerard right now.”

“Frank, it’s important.”

“Okay, go on.”

“I--he…I’m…numb…” She breathed. Frank stopped playing with her fingers and looked up.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean--if we do this…I won’t feel anything. I can’t. Because of Gerard…He’s sort of…desensitized me.” Frank’s eyebrows knit together. He didn’t look happy. Paulina bit her lip when she felt tears welling in her eyes. It was stupid to cry. His features softened immediately, though.

“Don’t cry,” he soothed, wiping away a stray tear with his thumb.

“I’m so sorry,” Paulina whimpered, pressing his palm to her cheek. “I don’t want to be numb. I want to feel you. It’s not fair. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. We don’t have to do anything. You wanting to be with me is enough. I love you. That’s all I need.” Paulina gasped, tears beginning to flow freely. He’d said it; he’d actually said it.

“I love you, too,” she said, something like relief washing over her, only to be filled with nerves simultaneously. “I really do. I still want to.”

“Are you--”

“Positive. Please.”

Frank leaned down and pressed his lips into Paulina’s forehead, then moved down to kiss her lips. The girl pushed his boxers down, and from there, things seemed to happen very quickly and very slowly at the same time.

“Tell me if it hurts,” he said, one hand on her hip, one on her cheek. She nodded, knowing that she wouldn’t feel anything at all. Paulina ran her hands up and down his arms and chest, feeling the raised scars of his tattoos, committing each one to memory. She just wanted him to feel the things she couldn’t, if only because she loved him so much she knew he deserved some happiness.

Paulina gasped. Frank stopped, worried look on his face.

“Did I hurt you?”

“…No…” Paulina whispered. “I--I can feel it.” Frank’s jaw dropped, and he pulled back, pushing his hips forward once more, slowly, to meet Paulina’s. She gasped again, a small smile on her face. She looked at him, new tears shining in her eyes. “I feel it…It’s lovely. I love you!” She pulled Frank down, kissing him passionately to reflect her new feelings.

She suddenly felt everything: Frank inside her; his upper-torso hovering just above her, supported by his forearms; his hot breath puffing out in short bursts onto her own skin; sweat beading on her own forehead and chest. It felt remarkable, all of it. Her hands circled the man’s back, squeezing his flesh and urging him to continue.

“I love you, too!” he gasped, obliging Paulina’s wishes. Her legs wrapped around Frank’s waist, shins crossing. There was a tingling in her chest, and a tickle in her belly that caused Paulina’s fingers to curl, her nails digging into the flesh of Frank’s back. They both whimpered. The tickle in Paulina’s stomach grew, making her hips jerk in time with Frank’s.

“Oh, my God,” she whispered, knees locking and squeezing in around Frank’s waist.

Later in the night, Paulina awoke from a dream, or a nightmare, her legs thrashing, heart pumping. She didn’t remember the nightmare, but it gripped her chest. Arms flailing, she gasped for air, small screams issuing from her throat. Tattooed arms came out of the darkness, wrapping around her body, pulling her close.

“Shh, shh,” Frank whispered, kissing her hair, breathing deeply so that she could feel it, her back pressing into his chest. It rose and fell slowly, soothingly, making Paulina stop and recognize her surroundings. “Shh, it’s alright. You’re okay, baby. I’m right here. It was just a dream. I won’t let anything happen to you. I love you.” Paulina relaxed, leaning back against the pillow and closing her eyes once more.

“Love you, too,” she murmured, falling back asleep.



How super-short of a wait was that? I know, I know, I'm awesome. On a more depressing note, that sex scene was quite possibly the worst thing I've ever written. But it needed to happen. I think we can all agree that it was about time, right? FINALLY. FINALLY. FINALLY. I'm actually kind of frightened to see what you guys say, actually. I figure you'll either love me for this or hate me for this. Either way, this is what you get. Stay prepped for a new update sometime in the foreseeable future. In the meantime, go comment/rate/subscribe, please. OverAndOutxx