Cartman and Kenny catch up after Kenny comes back to life. Spoilers for Red Sleigh Down. Sequel to Sorry.
Note: I do not own South Park or any of its characters. Based off of and spoilers for Red Sleigh Down. Quotes in italics. Sequel to my other fic, Sorry, but could also be read alone.
"Dude, where've you been?" Kyle asked.
"Oh ife ofa air." Kenny shrugged.
"Well come on!" Kyle said dismissively, turning to leave. "We've got to tell you what happened! I'm sure glad it's over with."
"Yeah." Stan agreed. "But I feel like things are finally back to normal.
"Yeah." Kenny thirded, following his three friends out of the house.
"Well," Cartman yawned, "screw you, Stan and Kyle, Kenneh and I've got stuff to do." He grabbed the orange parka clad boy's arm and started tugging him down the street.
"Aff a' ak?" Kenny exclaimed. He had just come back and he wanted to go to sleep so he could wake up and get presents. "Oof ah uhn-"
"Come on, Kenneh!" Cartman whined. "I've been waiting for almost a year!"
"Dude!" Kyle shouted after them. "We need to tell Kenny what happened!"
"You can tell him later!" Cartman tossed over his shoulder. "Kenneh and I already made plans!"
"Shhh!" Cartman hissed angrily. "There's no time to talk!"
Kenny shook his head. It figured Cartman would ruin his plans. But if Kenny remembered correctly it would do no good to resist and the only way he'd find out what Cartman wanted was by going along with it. The portly boy tugged him down the street, practically running so that Kenny had to struggle to keep up. Finally they reached- huh, that was funny. Kenny only remembered there being one Shakey's Pizza. He didn't have long to ponder this, as Cartman quickly hauled him through the door of the new restaurant and shoved him into a booth.
"Hey, kids!" The waiter called over to them. "We're closed!"
Cartman glared at him. "You're sign says you're open until 12:30."
"It is 12:30." The waiter replied.
"Nah-ah!" Cartman pointed to the clock. "It's 12:25."
"Oh, quit your bitching! The sooner you take our order the sooner you can go home!" Cartman yelled.
The waiter's face contorted into a snarl. "Excuse you?"
"I-I'm sorry." Cartman looked down, a mask of shame on his fase. "It's just…my best friend in the whole world d-died almost a year ago and I-I never thought I'd see him again." Cartman sniffed. "But today! Out of the goodness of God's heart, I have gotten him back!" He proclaimed standing up on the booth's bench. And throwing his arms out to point to Kenny, turned his face back to look at the waiter. "And all I want to do is share a medium Shakey's pizza with him! Please let us eat here!"
The waiter stared at Cartman. Then a tear slowly ran down the man's face. "Th-that is beautiful! P-p-praise the Lord! I-I'll get you your pizza! And it'll be on the house!"
"Oh, thank you, sir!" Cartman exclaimed. "And…could you throw some drinks in?"
"You got it, kid!" The waiter nodded and ducked into the kitchen.
"Heh." Cartman snickered. "Sucker!"
"Er n' thhl, arman!" Kenny snapped once the waiter was out of earshot.
"But I'm an asshole who got us free pizza and soda." Cartman answered smugly.
Kenny shrugged. He wasn't about to turn down free food. " 'o ah a' 'e un 'ere?"
"Oh," Cartman looked down, "Just grabbing some food. So Kenneh, how's Hehvehn or wherever you've been?" Kenny just looked at Cartman, never blinking. "What?"
" 'o ud, 'ah a' 'e un?"
"I told you!" Cartman insisted. "We're eating!"
Kenny shook his head. He clearly wasn't going to get anything out of Cartman. " 'o I's air oo achey's ias?"
"Oh," Cartman beamed, "you know those stem cells I had? Well, I was going to use them to bring you back to life, but then I realized that I could build a new Shakey's Pizza with them! Isn't that great, Kenneh?" He finished with a proud look on his face.
"Oo-" Kenny was cut off by the waiter coming up and placing a pizza and two sodas on the table.
"Here you go, you guys!" The waiter said. "Take your time and have a merry Christmas!"
"Thanks, you too." Cartman answered dismissively and the waiter left. "So what were you saying?"
"Oo ththl!" Cartman looked back at him blankly. "Oo o ias or e? ah au ee er eeffs!"
"We are!" Cartman exclaimed. "You always come back! I thought you'd want pizza!" His eyes narrowed. "Why did you take so long to come back to life? If you had come back soon we would have been able to eat Shakey's sooner!"
"Ah n lp ih!" Kenny said indignantly. "Ah uh' om ck en I om ck!"
"Oh, please!" Cartman snickered. "Like someone can just come back to life without choosing to!"
"Right!" Cartman took a bite of pizza. "So Kenneh, other than possessing me like an asshole, what have you been up to?"
They spent the next half hour with Kenny telling Cartman about his adventures as a spirit and Cartman, in turn, telling Kenny what had happened while Kenny was dead.
"Yeah Kenneh, you really missed a lot of great times." Cartman said when they were finished and they exited the Shakey's. "I created a seaciety and learned how to crap out my mouth and everything."
"oth!" Kenny wrinkled his nose.
"No, it was super awesome!" Kenny didn't reply. "Yeah, well you're an asshole!" They finished the walk towards Kenny's house in silence.
"Ee oo ora!" Kenny said, when they got there.
"Seeya, asshole!" Cartman sighed. "Oh and Kenneh?"
"a', oo?" Kenny asked, turning at the door.
"I'll kick your ass if you're late again.