Those words can mean so many different things to different people. For Bob and Andrea it means goofing off and simply enjoying each others presence. Frank and Leighton view it as making out, telling stupid jokes and playing guitar. Then there’s Ray and Zayna who, throughout their rocky patches, manage to pull off a night of romance. Silent lovers being Mikey and Autumn who rarely show public displays of affection tend to always be together.
Then there is Amanda and me. We’ve been together for almost four years. Nothing is capable of coming between us. We fuck, we goof around, we are romantic…we’re in love.
Feeling the weight of trying to raise 400 dollars in a month I circle the jewelry store parking lot. What if she says no? Then what? Will we keep seeing each other or will that be the end? Thinking about these things cause me to hit the brake suddenly, I could loose her so easily.
Wet, salty lines of betrayal flow down my face. I’m a man, one who’s going to have to support a family one day. I can’t be crying like a baby because I’m afraid. Slamming my fist into the horn I grab my phone. It’s unsafe for me to be alone while feeling like this.
“Amanda,” I sigh hearing her breathing on the other end of the phone. “Manda, baby, can you come get me?”
“Gee, what’s wrong? Where are you? Talk to me, Gerard,” she says sounding terrified. I’m such a loser; she could do some much better.
“I’m not supposed to be alone when I feel like this, my psychologist said so. I’m sitting outside of the jewelry store by Subway. I’m so sorry to bother you baby.”
“Shh, no, it’s fine. You did the right thing by calling me. Gee what started it?”
More tears, I can’t possibly tell her. Amanda, the only girl I’ve ever loved, will think her big, tough, boyfriend is a wimp. “I’m scared of losing you.”
“Aww, Gee, I’m not going anywhere, I promise you that,” I can almost hear the smile. He’s thinks I’m cute. Sometimes I don’t understand girls. “Can you see my car?”
Looking up I see the black bug, blurred by the snow that has fallen on my window. I turn the car off and get out, hurrying over to her. All I want is to feel her skin against mine, feel the metal of her lip ring hitting my lips. God I’ve got it bad for this girl.
“Hey. You don’t need to feel depressed. See I’m here, not gonna leave you alone. You wanna be with Mikey or you gonna spend the night with Frank and me?”
She so awkward it’s adorable. Her glasses are on, my sweatshirt hanging off her tiny body, black and red plaid pants cover her legs, ending in bright pink rain boots. Leaning over I kiss her, fingers running through her soft black hair.
“I’ll stay with you and Frank as long as I’m not interrupting anything,” I wink earning a smack in the arm and a giggle.
“No, Frank and I are just watching movies. Gee he’s worried. Have you been taking your pills?”
Manda cares. She’s in love with me like I’m in love with her. Our weird yet almost perfect relationship is the only one she’s ever been in. Amanda is good for me; she makes me naturally happy and care free. She’ll marry me because she loves me.
“Yeah, tell your brother not to worry,” I respond as Amanda lead me into her warm house.
This is what I need, this is where I belong. I fit with Amanda. Together we’ll make a great couple with a bright future. I just need to get 400 bucks and some courage.