small lin-z oneshot, because there are too few;) wrote this a while ago, please tell me what you think! R&R
so i'm currently suffering severe writers block:/ i wrote this one-shot to help me get into writing again. it's a lin-z oneshot, if you havn't guessed already. i apologize for possible spelling and grammer mistakes...i wrote this on my itouch and this tiny keyboard hates me^^'
and please r&r, feedback makes me happy:)
xoxo k (so sorry i havn't been working on my stories)
She walks along the deserted street, the rain long having soaked her clothes, crashing down in icy sharp drops, matting her hair to her forehead, burning her eyes like tiny drops of acidic dribble. Everything is dull and somehow lifeless, fitting her somber mood perfectly, as if the world was mourning with her, being her friend and companion when everyone else turned their back; as if the cold, grey concrete walls were sharing her feelings, comforting her, being home for people like her. The hopeless, the lonely, the home and restless.
All the sneers and dirty looks she used to get, all the hurt too much to contain at that time, the freezing cold that would grip her body and engulf it in icecold arms...the city helped.
When she had last spoken to someone else than to herself..she could not remember. She long ago forgot what it's like to have a home, a warm bed with silky sheets, a family or friends; people that cheer you up at times you think it can't get any worse.
How they always made her smile, no matter what; it's just a vague memory.
But it doesn't matter anyway. She doesn't need all that. As far as she's concerned...she's alright.
Who the fuck needs friends, or a family or a house? They're all so fragile things, like life, they could slip from your grasp any second, so why hold on if you have no say in it anyway? The more you squeeze the more it slips away is what they say.
So she let it go. She didn't need all those things to be happy.
She let it all go.
Sometimes she thinks that just maybe things would've ended up differently, /better/, if only she'd stayed with the ones she loved, who loved her, who could hug her back and whisper comforting words when she was upset.
But it doesn't matter anymore.
She only hates, that now when her husband and daughter were so obviously heartbroken, the pain shining brightly in their eyes,
that now she knows this isn't only about her but also about the ones who care about her,
now she can't come back, can't comfort them when they need her the most. Because she'd been selfish. Sure, she didn't need them. But she didn't waste a thought on them needing her.
It was too late when she realized it and as much as she wants to go back, it just isn't possible anymore.
She has no feet to move with, no mouth to cry out with, no hands to reach out with.
All she can do is gaze through the big window from across the street, the rain soaking her even more, mercilessly pouring down on her, and stare into a world she will never return to.
Only to see a see-through sillouette staring back at her with sad eyes.
Because now she's just a ghost, a memory of a once beautiful, talented and cheery woman slowly fading away as they think less and less of her everyday.
Until the day she'll dissapear completely, like she always wanted to.
But she isn't happy, now that she finally had escaped.
ummm she's dead, if you didn't get it...hope this was understandablexD
update: just spell-checking