Late in the night, when everyone else was asleep, I lay pretending, watching as Winding Crescendo and Party Poison caught up with each other in the light of the fire. Knots twisted in my stomach whenever she made him laugh. Nothing that they talked about were things I understood, and it made me want to barf and cry at the same time.
At times like this, I needed my sister.
I turned over to look at where she slept next to me, poking her in the face. "Are you awake?" I asked in German.
She groaned and flipped onto her back. "I am now."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Obviously yes, seeing as you just did."
I rolled my eyes. "Don't laugh at me, okay?" She nodded. I took a deep breath. "How come I wanna throw up while hitting something whenever I see them together?"
"I don't know," she said, clearly stifling a grin that said she knew exactly what was happening.
"You're a shit liar."
She sighed, like she was about to explain to a child for the hundredth time that two plus two is four. "Okay. I'm going to tell you a story. It's about our parents."
My eyes grew wide. "Really?"
"Yes." She smiled slightly. "Dad had had his eyes on Mom for years, but he couldn't work up the courage to talk to her. Mom was the prettiest girl in school, and all the boys wanted her."
"So...they wanted to fuck her?"
She stared at me. "You...haven't had good experiences with boyfriends, have you?"
"Anyway," she continued, "Mom, on the other hand, liked another guy a lot. He was the handsome quarterback."
"What does that-"
"ANYWAY," she said, ignoring me, "all the other guys were just as reluctant to talk to her as Dad. Dad was the first to actually have the guts to ask her out." She paused. "Now, girls have this idea that if you date a guy, a different guy gets ten times more interested. Whether that's true or not..." She held up her hands. "But basically, Dad was just a stepping stone for Mom to get the other guy. Mom didn't really care about him.
"Then one night, Mom's parents had a huge fight. There was flying furniture, tears, the works. Mom just needed to get out of the house, but she had no idea where to go.
"So she went to Dad's house, where he was home alone. The minute Dad saw her crying, he stopped what he was doing and hugged her. They spent that entire day just sitting on the couch, with him patting her back and feeding her hot chocolate. She fell asleep in his arms, and that moment, right when she was in sleep's grasp, she realized that she was in love with him."
The silence was broken only by the faraway, high-pitched laughter of Winding Crescendo.
"...In love with him."
I laid my head back on the ground as Grace turned back on her side and promptly started snoring softly.
Is that what love means? To care about someone so much that you'll drop what you're doing to help them?
All my known life, I'd been taught that to be in love means you give a good fuck. When Korse first said "I love you," it was (surprise!) after sex. I took that to be the meaning of the word.
I think...that I like this new definition better.
Wouldn't it be nice to have someone to always talk to like that? Someone who will hug and kiss the pain away? Someone you would go to the ends of the Earth to have by your side? To have your best friend be your lover?
My best friend.
I looked over at him, silouhetted against the firelight.
God knows my lover right now isn't my best friend.
Was this what had been happening the whole time? Every time I had looked at him, my stomach fluttered.
Had I been blind the entire time?
Was I in love?
Man, I'm sorry, but this chapter is straight out of my life. Whoa, man. Cray-cray. But then I found out that guy was a douche. So not quite.
PS ummm yeah definitely not gonna update this until I get some reviews. Just so you're all aware. At least one, please. Just please review. I'm afraid that you're not reviewing because it's -1 rated, so please prove my suspicions wrong.