(#) CatscanFlyy 2012-04-15Just started reading and like Omg fluff is the best and I really love your style especially the dialogue, it's really great!
But I would suggest perhaps getting a Beta reader because this story has so much potential but there are a few issues such as capital letters on names and speech marks that need tending to
But honestly I love it so far and it manages to be funny and adorable and hot all at the same time so keep it up!
Author's responseAww thank you!
Thank you for pointing that out. I have a strange obsession with capital letters at the beginning of words and always have to end up re-writing the words and i useally take it too far making mistakes in words that actually need the capital; if that makes sense o.o
Anyway,I'll go through the text and try to fix them:)
Thank you for commenting; i really appreciate your review and hopefully i'll manage to continue to impress you in future chapters!
(#) BulletproofNinja 2012-04-15This is SO cute!!! I love how Gerard wants to be Frank's date but he's still making Frank convince him. Cheeky bugger!!! This story is really good, update soon please :P
Author's responseAhaha, I think gerard just wants to see the sorts of crap that frank comes up with xD will update as soon as possible!
(#) monstrice901 2012-04-15lol - you were right about it being cliche! It works though so no big deal and is very cute (which is exactly what I need right now considering the other story I'm reading involves exorcisism and mass murder!) Looking forward to seeing what else Frank has in mind, and am thinking that this could turn out quite well. Although he is being a bit of a noob - he should just tell Gerard that he wants to date him!
It's generally quite well written, but there are a few grammar mistakes (sorry!). It's nothing major in terms of the actual story, but I have noticed that you tend to skip on capital letters and shit like that. Also, it'd be easier to follow if you did new speaker = new line. Sorry, I'm just being pedantic, but these things bug me!
Great story so far, and can't wait for more!
Author's responseI'm glad It's going good so far. Sometimes we all need a break from the life in the murder scene. I'm sorry, my attempts at jokes are terrible. He has tons of tricks he's thought off xD
Don't apologize, I appreciate the fact that you're trying to help my writing to improve. I've also noticed my little grammar mistakes and I do apologize for them. I normally write the beginning of every word with a.capital so sometimes I'll rewrite them and accidentally take it too far and miss a few or change it without realising it needed to stay the same. If it'd be easier for the readers to follow I will definitely start making sure that new speakers get their own lines. I do appreciate constructive criticism and I will try my best to improve in future chapters.
Thank you for the review!
(#) we-redamnedafterall 2012-04-17You are fucking brill okay.
I'd leave a proper review but everybody's already said everything that needs to be said up there so~
Thought I'd just state how great you are and how much I love your stories, my Formspring anon c:
Yes I still refer to you as 'my Formspring anon' :L Should talk to me on there sometime :3
Love this! Update soon, okay?
Author's responseThank you!
ahaha, you're all really sweet xD
Aww thank you, i've never really thought i was good but getting reviews like this just make me smile so much:)
Actually i was just thinking about talking to you the other day, and the only reason i go on anon is because i don't have my own account so i hack my friends :L
I always think i annoy you but i'll start talking to you xD
Thank you so much, I'll be updating as soon as possible:)
(#) mychemicalpony 2012-04-19This is seriously AMAZING. I can't wait for the next one, pleasssseeeee update soon!!! :) I love it and I love the storyline and everything! Yeah, please update soon :D
Author's responseTHANK YOU!
The next chapter is partly written already, i shall update as soon as possible:3
thanks for the review:3
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