It was death; it was supposed to hurt.
“Come out Gerard.” I called, messing with the straps of the dress that was now wrapped around my body.
Mari swatted my hand away, “Stop messing with it. You look perfect.” She scolded.
Frank just grinned, sitting in the chair behind us.
We were each formally dressed, thanks to Mari’s amazing skills at dressing us up. She’d even done our make up. Frank had dark blue eyeliner encasing his eyes, whereas she had green and mine was simply black. She’d gone light with all of the make up besides the eyeliner. Mikey left early, excited to see someone... He wouldn’t tell us much about her.
The door opened and I held my breath, waiting to see Gerard.
Just as expected... He looked fantastic. He was wearing a black tux that fit his body perfectly. The mask he was wearing was black and gray, with feathers hiding the curve of his cheekbones.
He removed the mask, allowing me to see the artwork painted over his face. The make up brought every inch of his face alive. “Wow.” I breathed out.
Mari giggled, “I think she likes what I did to you Gee.”
Gerard smiled, “Well, I like what you’ve done to her... You look beautiful Rian.” He reached out, playing with a curl of my hair.
I slipped the bright blue mask on to my face, “How about now?”
“Still beautiful.” The words sent a surge of emotion through my body.
I searched the room, looking at each masked individual. Where was she?
It suddenly felt like less of a game and more of a necessity to find her. Something felt wrong.
I knew, somehow I knew... that something terrible was going to happen tonight.
“Gerard, are you okay?” I whispered my worried words in to Gerard’s ear, leaning as close to him as I could.
Mari and Frank were in the front of the car, animatedly talking. It wasn’t exactly unusual for Gerard to be quiet but tonight something was different about how quiet he was. Something about him had changed. I didn’t understand it but I was very apprehensive because I knew whatever it was that had changed was not for the best.
Gerard didn’t respond. He seemed lost in his own world. I wondered just what happened in that mind of his. What drove him to do the things he did?
I’d always thought murder was something that was limited to television shows and entertainment magazines. I understood the severity but I never felt the fear attached with the actions. I was far too protected from things like that and now it just felt unreal. I knew that Gerard was a murderer. I knew that he could kill me at any time, for any reason. I knew that murderers were sometimes crazy. I wondered if Gerard was.
A part of me thought Gerard was insane but that very same part thought I was insane as well. Sanity was very questionable for it wasn’t really something that was easily proven.
The fact that Gerard might be insane didn’t bother me. Neither did the fact that he was a murderer. It didn’t actually seem to faze me.
That should have set off some alarms but it really didn’t because I didn’t know any better. After all, I’d never truly understood the horror of murder at that point in my life.
There was always so much for us to learn.
I didn’t bother Gerard anymore, instead leaning against him. Once my head rested itself upon his shoulders he began running his fingers through my hair.
All I really knew at that point was that despite my unexplored fears I would stay with Gerard because he was all I really ever had.
“Ooh, what do we have here?” The voice that met my ears was filled with lust and I instantly knew who it was. “Isn’t it past your bedtime Mr. Way? You should’ve already found a girl in this room to bed. Looks like someone is getting rusty.”
“Well, it looks like I’ve found you Sade.” I stole a glance towards where Rian had taken off but she was nowhere to be seen and I had gone far too long without a kill. It was like an addiction, one I was fully aware of. I was no better than a meth user, a crack addict. I was like an alcoholic, unable to tear myself from the bottle. Blood was my drug and the side-effects seemed to be piling up. How was I to provide a safe life for Rian when without blood staining my hands I felt such a shaking sensation? If the sensation grew it would take everything that I was and there would be nothing left. I needed this fix. I needed to kill. I needed to feel the fear only a victim near death could give.
Sade Bailey rolled her eyes, “Fat chance.” She looked around as well, “But don’t worry there are plenty of fish in the sea and I’m sure you haven’t screwed them all just yet.”
I glanced in to Sade’s hazel-green eyes and the urge to kill grew stronger. “Oh come on Sade, I’m not that bad of a guy.” I’d only slept with what, like five of her friends? “Let’s just go outside and talk. I bet some fresh air would do us both some good.”
I could see her caving in to my suggestion and she simply nodded, “Lead the way.” And so I did.
Five minutes later the cold night air blew past us and Sade was struggling to light a cigarette. “Those things will kill you, you know.” I almost laughed at my statement but somehow I stopped myself.
“Yeah, I know. Want one?”
“Sure.” There was nothing quite like the sensation of poison entering your lungs. The burn was something nearly magical. I kicked a rock, eyeing the smoke that blew from Sade’s lips.
I felt myself muttering the words tattooed on her right forearm. “Life is for the alive, my dear.”
Sade chuckled but said nothing.
She stopped as I stopped though. “Isn’t that the truth?” I glanced at the burning end of my cigarette before continuing. “I think we’ve gone far enough. I haven’t seen anyone around here.” We had walked down a dark alley and in to what was the beginning of the woods. I think it was safe to say that I’d found the perfect spot without going too far.
“Is there a reason you wanted to be alone?” Sade’s eyes flickered to my cigarette which was quickly burning out.
“Yeah Sade, there is a reason.”
I needed this. I would always need this. It wouldn’t be pretty and it wouldn’t be painless. It was death; it was supposed to hurt.
I was a murderer; I was supposed to murder. It was what I did. No amount of love could change that. I was a fool if I thought I could just stop. I couldn’t, not even for Rian.