A lemon fic whose purpose is to make a loose plot for the addition of Lemons. Naruto is found wanting for a medical review as his Uzumaki heritage and his unknowns are seemingly impossible to comp...
Naruto's Lemonade Stand
AN: I don't typically put an author's note up here, but I thought it would be prudent. For one, this story is going to be full of Lemon's, and as such, will not be posted on Fanfiction.net as I do not wish for this account to disappear. This is the story for my Ero-muse, which Jiraiya would heartily tell me to follow as a Super-Pervert should.
As it is, I'm solely putting up the lemon free first chapter here. I'll likely go post this, and my other stories on both Ficwad and YourFanfiction. Those have tolerance for Lemon's. As it is, this is going to be a lemon story, with Lemon's first and foremost, with story following to allow for the Lemon's so it isn't completely random. I might do a Naruto: Fresh Squeezed Fanfic elsewhere for one-shots, and as follows, and story lemons will be separated in another fanfic just for those. If someone wants a crossover solely for Lemon's, then I might start aLemon story just for those, but if someone wants an actual crossover, you are waiting til I finish or take a major break from Always Check Your Rituals.
Any Lemon stories I do are going to be Harems by the stories very nature. I have nothing against Polyamory, and while Harem's are rare in real life by most modern standards, they are still viable in a romantic sense. Lemon's as they are are going to be sour for most, but remember the Lemon has one of the highest Sugar contents possible (i.e. they are going to be humorous and raunchy, but laying off the drama).
As always as I state in the Summary, I do not own the respective characters in any series I write in on any fanfic site. Unless otherwise mentioned as an OC. Now on for the stage opener, as such.
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It was a long day in office for one Godaime Hokage, Senju Tsunade. In fact, it was a terrible day, as she had yet to finish reviewing the current Genin Medical Reviews. Normally, this would be a pass/fail thing handed directly to the Head Medic Ninja in Konoha, as her previous Kages did, but that was also one Senju Tsunade.
Nothing extraordinary had been written so far. Most of the cases were purely wrote, with most of the Ninja's having the normal stuff. The physical (and most importantly, sexual portions) of their files, were frequently the only time anything of any note came up for her, and that was mostly to break the monotony of, 'X genin has a N capacity for chakra that was expected due to information previously filed with the Academy/Clan' and so on. She always found it hilarious to read an Inuzuka Male having a knot like a dog. That always brought up discussion in both the medical ninja circles and regular gossip of exactly why that was. Would a Cat clan have spines was a hilarious thought exercise for the drunk ninja. . . that wasn't female.
Kiba's knot seemed to be smaller than average for his age, despite an average size, which Tsunade thought hilarious. Was it because Akamaru was still a tiny thing? Or was it because Kiba was clearly the runt of Tsume's litter? Hana was the stronger, bonding to an astounding three Nin-dogs, compared to the normal one. Sadly, Tsunade hadn't the time to requisition her file to compare at the age they were, but despite differences in gender, Inuzuka had certain normal aspects to run through.
Sad for Tsume that neither of her 'pups' were likely Alpha material. Tsunade guessed that was similar to how Hiashi likely felt for his first-born daughter. He may have loved Hinata dearly, despite his seemingly distant approach to parenting he took after losing both his brother and wife only afew years apart, but at least he had what he thought was a more talented younger daughter.
Hinata's psychiatric evaluation was similar to the last time she had it, a crippling case of shyness due to the loss of a mother, a distant father and cousin, along with confidence issues from being compared to the older and more formally talented Neji and losing to her sister. Neji's mother always attempted to help her, but she was almost always being at work, as Hizashi had married outside the clan. It also wasn't helped by what had to be one of the earliest onsets of breast growth in the Hidden Leaf.
And Tsunade knew for a fact that Hinata wasn't on any hormonal pills, nor was there a dangerous excess of estrogen or anything else. If she didn't know perfectly well that her mother was a Hyuuga, she would have guessed at it being a bloodline of some sort. Then again, her mother was the only Hyuuga other than her and her sister to have a differently hued eye other than the standard permutations of Hyuuga-off-white eyes.
Whatever the case was, her bust had been slowly growing as she got older, she had already reached a D cup a year ago, and she hadn't even been through puberty yet, which was baffling to Tsunade. She was still flat as a board at Hinata's age, and she had been a really late bloomer when it came to puberty.
Tsunade chuckled as she read Sasuke's file again. She shook her head in bitter memory of the daft fools who kept deluding that Sasuke was the best and would be the best. Not that there were that many older ones, but the number of fan girls he inspired was quite pathetic for Konoha. He was quite average, all around. Any dreams of the more perverted members of afoot long Uchiha would settle for just above half that length. While not being small by any means, civilians more so than anyone else, almost all the other clan heirs she had read about were bigger, and the biggest so far was Choji. Of course, they were still pre-pubescent for the most part. Luckily those were dying out after the betrayal of Sasuke.
It wasn't a real secret that most villages had files on sizes, but most Clan's and other sources had a compiled list of growth recorded on everything. And had lead to one rather startling discovery by the Medical Ninja establishment. Base Chakra helped determine size in Male Genitalia. It also helped females as well, but mostly identical twin cases had helped show some startling frequency. A twin with a larger chakra pool grew bigger. And while genetics did help out quite a large bit in helping determine starting size, a vastly larger pool could add an inch in length and half an inch in girth easily.
It certainly became more muddled as it went by a clan-by-clan basis, and ninja's not from established families tended to lack in raw chakra start-up. And possible hidden or non-identified bloodlines killed a lot of normal data as well. Not to mention hormones, and the mire gets thicker, which is why it was a problem to tell females as well, add that to asmaller Kunoichi population, and any meaningful data there was lost. But Males of established clan's could be tracked in size development quite easily.
She hummed to herself as she came across a name she decided to put off for a second to finish the final few Genin's that came after, Uzumaki Naruto. She smirked before sighing as she reached the Yamanaka's. Which were so typical and bland besides the knowledge that, yes Ino had started puberty recently and would likely receive her first period in a year. And other than knowing that yet another girl had fallen to Sasuke's image and had woefully left any actual ninja practice on the wayside disheartened Tsunade.
Cracking open Naruto's rather thick file, due to many reasons, including frequent past check ups, she read that his psychiatric state was stunningly balanced for someone whose life was filled with an abnormal amount of emptiness. Other than a lack of concentration on most subjects besides anything to do with Jutsu, which may be attributed to his excessive amount of energy, and his near inability to stay still, his mind shows less chances of succumbing to a negative state, despite the fact that he contained the Kyuubi.
His knowledge was obviously spotty at best, though a combination of his lack of concentration, people willing to help him study or else, and an excessive amount of energy to burn didn't help. A simple note tacked on by one Sarutobi Hiruzen at the front folder caught her interest as it fell to the floor. 'His capacity for learning should not be underestimated. He has shown to be able to learn Kage Bunshin by himself in less than four hours, give or take an hour. He devotes all energy possible to learn something if he desires it. And remember, Bunshin Jutsu was the worst of his Academy Jutsu.' Sure, Bunshin was a genjutsu compared to the ninjutsu of Kage Bunshin, but Naruto did not know that. Or if he did, promptly forgot. She remembered the notes from that incident as she read them immediately after she got back.
After the rather unflattering, but truthful statements about Naruto's knowledge current and past remained the same, the examiner had continued onwards to the physical portion where Naruto's short body, as he remained the furthest behind in puberty out of any of the males, was rather physically powerful, only trailing behind those with bloodlines or other clan advantages that boosted physical improvements, and those whose names weren't Rock Lee at his age. Alot of questions were raised on what exactly the Nine-tailed Fox did to its containers were raised. Other than increased physical regeneration, the examiner did not note.
Tsunade sighed as the rest of the paper's inside were nearly non-conclusive, as if continuing acompletely different exam. She had nearly given up hope, before coming across a seal on the back of the folder. A small raise of her eye-brow due to its presence in Naruto's folder alone. She frowned as she took a moment to decipher what exactly it was, and recalled aspecial seal-array she had found on the inside of the Forbidden Scroll of Sealing that all Hokages were required to use by order of her own Grandfather, Shodai Hokage Senju Hashirama. It was the key to all Hokage only blood seals, and the seal before her was a two-way seal, but only the way in didn't require blood to activate.
A small application of chakra to cause a minor blood letting to deactivate the seal-array and another influx to activate the seal to take out the items inside caused a larger stack of folders to appear. Grabbing the folder dated most recently, Tsunade let out a small breath as the examiner started an explanation.
'Hokage-sama, as this is my first report to you in Uzumaki Naruto's medical files, I should inform you I know of his heritage as the previous head medical ninja, and the one who ran his blood works. Any following information about Uzumaki should be taken with a grain of salt considering the only parentage I have full access to is his father's, as his Clan's only known medical scroll is in the possession of your own Clan, Senju Tsunade, and requires your blood or Uzumaki's due to your Grandmother, Mito.
Uzumaki Naruto shows the kind of attention span attributed to his Mother and most likely other Uzumaki's. If his looks though did follow anything similar to his father, who was a first generation Ninja by his starting chakra reserves, he has very good base genetics. While some information about the Hokage's individual strength's compared to each other may be questionable, his father could proudly (if he knew of it) proclaim he was the largest of the Kage's, as well as the fastest. Measuring out, he reached thirteen inches and his circumference was seven. Ibelieve Kushina once confided in me, he may have the feminine male face out of the entire academy, but he was likely the manliest everywhere else.
My concern over the Kyuubi is three-fold for Uzumaki Naruto. While the Uzumaki family is the only known containers capable of sealing away the Kyuubi, Naruto is particularly unique. Both previous containers were female Uzumaki's, not male. Naruto is the only known child of a previous container of a Bijuu, let alone the Kyuubi's. And Naruto was also introduced to amassively heavy amount of chakra from the Bijuu before and after birth.
This is troubling with the fact that no-known male Uzumaki is available for me to check medical records on gives us a very unique problem, along with any mutating bloodlines possible from his father.
Question One: What is the average male Uzumaki development?
Question Two: Does Minato have any bloodlines that were not activated?
Question Three: What Uzumaki bloodlines does Naruto possess, and do we even have all of the Uzumaki bloodlines known?
Question Four: What does the Kyuubi grant its Jinchurriki merely by its container, other than enhanced regeneration?
Question Five: Will the Kyuubi enhance, change, or overwrite any natural bloodlines?
Question Six: Has Kyuubi's chakra after-birth affected Naruto physically?
Naruto, has, displayed something leading me to acknowledge Naruto's chakra capacity that was measured right after birth, though how much of it is natural and the byproduct of literally bathing in the Kyuubi's chakra unknown to even me. Naruto has the biggest known chakra pool out of the entire leaf village at birth, and still outstrips almost everyone in their prime, except for maybe the Kages, Kushina, and Mito. As we know, general knowledge leads us to accept that Uzumaki's naturally have the biggest natural reserves, though any other bloodline specific feats minus the Chakra Chains are unknown.
Naruto's reserves without the Kyuubi dwarf your own by twice, Hokage-sama, by a rough estimate. With the Kyuubi continually expanding his own base size, I wouldn't be surprised if he could match the Ichibi in shear quantity in three years or less, irregardless of his own personal training.
It is with great trepidation I say this, when tested physically for sexual characteristics, I have no idea where to begin. While everything looks normal for his age. . . it is much bigger than average size would dictate. I had him in a Genjutsu, as we always use for those with unknown clan records and new ninja to check tissue size in males when erect if they aren't capable of it, due to age or otherwise.
Naruto's introduction to the procedure this past year had lead to something vastly different than previous visits, as his tissue was capable of engorging finally. It is with some slight medical concern that I state he has reached his father in size and beaten him handily, by inches in both girth and length. But as disturbing a though as that could be for anyone, the application of chakra to return it to normal seemed to shift it even more. As though the specific act of chakra flowing to it constituted a change should occur, before quivering and becoming limp and placid again.
I would give one Uzumaki Naruto a check-up as soon as possible, after checking the Uzumaki clan medical files. Any information on Bloodlines may be very helpful. And running a full spectrum blood work again with files to match it to for both parents would be helpful as well.'
Tsunade looked at the report again, and stared as she tried to imagine what was likely to happen in the future. And he still hadn't gone through puberty. Tsunade shuddered as she pulled out a large Sake bottle as Shizune burst through the door.
“Tsunade-sa. . .ma,” Shizune started, “Why are you drinking now?”
“Done for the day. And this,” Tsunade said as she eyed the bottle before handing Shizune Naruto's file and pulling out another one and two saucers. Shizune stared at the paper before just looking at Tsunade.
“Jiraiya taking him tomorrow,” Shizune asked to confirm something.
“Jiraiya taking him tomorrow morning,” Tsunade replied. Shizune stole glances at Tsunade and the bottles again, before just grabbing one and downing it. “Damn it, Shizune, use a saucer. Sigh.And this is what I get for waiting on paperwork.”
“Hokage-sama, I was told to inform you that one Uzumaki Naruto left with one Jiraiya of the Densetsu no Sannin earlier today,” the Anbu in the Tori mask stated as he stumbled on the scene. Tsunade just grabbed the other bottle and started draining it as the Anbu stared on.
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AN: Part II: If you've read this far, I probably should warn you that, I'll be exploring quite afew fetishes, let alone non-human ancestry. Much like Stormarrow's Naruto: Lemon Chronicles, large insertions, belly bulging, inflation, and else is going to be had. It will never go to rape or guro. But it may get really really weird in fetishes. Depending on person, what I feel like, and whatever else. This story will be adult. And physically impossible.
If someone was the size of ahorse, they would likely end up killing someone or sending them to the hospital with internal bleeding, if they tried to force themselves inside. So, if it isn't apparent, don't try anything like this at home if it is liable to kill you. Or know the risks, whatever. I know most of it would rate as impossible, so don't tell me.
Any requests, feel free to send a pm. Just be careful of censoring.
Next time? Tsunade likely'discusses' Clan business. And giving Naruto a long overdue lesson.
Chapter 2: The Uzumaki Inheritance.