Frank comes over to watch a movie with the Way brothers... And Mikey's joke goes horribly wrong.
By the way, the title is from Rise To Remain, I luff dem! :P
Chapter 10- Power Through Fear
I sit on my bed in the dark, loving the fact that it is now the weekend, and I don't have to see any of the dicks from school for two days! I look back at the week gone and I think of the decision I made Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. It's been about a week since I made the decision to talk to Frank properly, and it didn't go too well at first but it ended well.
I walk into Art class on Wednesday morning to find Frank occupying the usually empty seat next to mine. I take a deep breath and walk slowly over to the table. He looks up when I sit down on the chipped wooden stall next to him. The look on his face is unsure, like he wants to say hi but is worried about my reaction. In the end it's me who speaks first.
"Hi Frank." He looks shocked but quickly replies.
"Uh, hey Gerard. You okay?"
"What's it to you?!" I reply, guarded. No, Gee. Remember what you said last night. I look over at Frank, who looks quite shocked and hurt by my outburst. Aww, now I feel guilty. I recover with an attempt at smiling. "Sorry, I didn't mean that. Yeah, I'm okay I guess. Listen, I decided something last night." He raises an eyebrow.
"Well, I was thinking about how you've been so nice to me and all I've given you in return is a pain in the ass." I admit, ashamed and pink cheeked.
"Gee, it's fine, hones-"
"No, it isn't fine. As of last night, I've decided that I'm going to try and make an effort. I want to talk to the only person in this damn school who's willing to talk to me. So, here I am." I bite my lip when I finish, while I wait anxiously for his response.
"Well, that sounds awesome. I'm glad you've finally decided." He jokes. I sigh with relief.
"So, how was your day yesterday?" He smiles before diving into his story of what I missed yesterday at school.
Maybe this will work out.
After that first day things got easier. I think it was because I'd gotten used to him being around me. He comes over to my house like everyday to see Mikey, and as it turns out, we have a lot of lessons together so I see a lot of him at school. We're still not what I would call good friends, but it's better than anything I've ever experienced friend wise. Mikey seems a lot happier as well, back to his old, good humoured self. He thinks that I'm getting better, but I'm not so sure.
I'm still not eating anything, but I did have an apple a couple of days ago. Of course, it wasn't properly digested and it ended up in my toilet bowl again, like the rest of my food. I don't think I've eaten a proper meal in weeks. Months, even. I'm still cutting myself on a daily basis, just letting off some steam and getting my anger out. I haven't passed out again though, I've been more careful since that night. It's getting harder and harder to hide from Mikey, I think he suspects something. He never says anything, but I see the looks he gives me whenever I wince at the slightest movement. I just pass it off as another beating from jocks and he looks sympathetic, although not fully believing me. God, I hate how observant he is sometimes. I've had to take to wearing lots of thick hoodies. Good thing I'm kind of a jacket slut, or I would have run out of clothes by now.
My mom is also home for the weekend, but she was so tired that she went straight to bed when she came in last night and I haven't been upstairs this morning. I don't even know what the time is. I look at my phone. '06:37'. What the hell?! Okay, even if I had already gone upstairs, I wouldn't have seen my mom. Nobody's up at this time, it's not natural on a weekend! But of course, here's me, awake at stupid o'clock in the morning because I'm a fucking crazy fuck who can't sleep because of my pissing insomnia. I'm always so tired, it makes it so hard to get through the days. Yeah, it may sound dramatic, but it is extremely hard to focus when you haven't slept properly in days.
I get up and go into the bathroom, planning on taking a shower. A shower is never a good idea for me, because it always gets me in a negative mood. I just can't stand the sight of my own body, seeing the huge folds of skin that stop me from being beautiful. Before stepping into the shower, I stand in front of the mirror. This has kinda become a routine for me, I can't take a shower without inspecting myself first. I want to cry upon seeing my reflection. I've put more weight on. It's that stupid apple I ate, it caused this! I start to cry but I get in the shower anyway, not wanting to feel the tears as they fall.
When I'm done in the shower, I step out and but my boxers on. I don't bother drying myself, and I return to my position in front of the mirror. As I stand there shirtless, I contemplate my options. After Tuesday night, the idea of suicide has become more appealing to me. How quick it was for me to pass out, it would be so easy. And Mikey has Frank now, so he doesn't need me. But to be fair, my life isn't bad enough for me to end it. Sure, I get beaten up a lot and I have no friends to talk to, but still, it could be worse..... I don't know how exactly, but I think it could be worse... Or not. Right now, however, I need to sort my weight out. And soon. I take a step over to the toilet and kneel down in front of it. Bringing two fingers up to my mouth, I shove them to the back of my throat. Feeling my gag reflexes kick in, I keep shoving my fingers down there until I vomit out the non-existant contents of my stomach. The acid burns my throat and that makes me puke more... This is working out well for me.
When I'm done I get up and wash my hands before proceeding to clean my teeth. Man, all this purging is bad for my teeth, I just know it. But I don't care, I can get teeth whitener for that. I just want to be beautiful, no I NEED to be beautiful. And I'm not going to stop until I am.
There's really not much more I can say to that. I'm at a new school, away from the bullies that made my life hell. Sure, there are still some ass holes at Belleview High, but they keep their distance more. I've only been punched in the face once in my first week, and even that didn't ruin my day. I have friends here, whereas in my other school, no one wanted to be seen with me. The teachers are nicer here, I like the house better. All in all, I'm really liking New Jersey. But one thing makes it even better, or should I say, one PERSON. Gerard. Even though he's still a bit wary around me I can't help but feel extremely attracted to the guy, and he's actually started talking to me! It's weird, one day he was getting all pissed off with me, and the next day HE started a conversation with ME. So, hopefully me and Gerard could become friends...
But in the present time, I'm lying down on my bed with my arms behind my head, thinking about the day ahead of me. It's Saturday, and I'm not sure what to do. It's the first Saturday I've spent here and I'm thinking of texting Mikey, and seeing if he wants to go out somewhere. He should be up, I mean it's like 12 o'clock! I take out my phone.
Hey Mikey, you free today? --F I wait for about five minutes before I recieve a reply.
Yeah, why? :P ~M
I was wondering if you wanted to do something? --F
I'm all yours baby, what did you have in mind? ~M I laugh and go to reply, but before I have the chance I recieve another text
Actually, do you want to come over to mine and watch a movie? I just bought the new Harry Potter if you like it? :D ~M
Dude, does a bear shit in the woods? ~F
Umm... I don't know how to respond to that... ~M
Haha, yes Mikey. A bear does shit in the woods, so yes I like Harry Potter... XD ~F
You're so weird... So I'll see you in like half an hour? ~M
You're calling Me weird?! And yeah sure, I'll see you then ~F
We're both rather odd, see you later! :) ~M
And with that, I put my phone away and proceed to get ready for Mikey's. Luckily he only lives at the end of my street, so it won't take too long to get there. I look in the mirror to see what needs to be done. Hmm... My hair is okay, I washed that last night. So basically, I only need eyeliner. As I go and fetch it I start wondering what it's going to be like when I'm at Mikey's. Will Gerard be there? I hope so. I add the finishing touches to my eyeliner, smudging it exactly how I want it around my eyes. It actually looks pretty good. Now, there's the question of what to wear...
After fifteen minutes of choosing from my wardrobe, I am ready to leave for Mikey's. I decided on my ripped red jeans, a black and red stripy T-shirt and my black Green Day hoodie, all topped off with an extremely battered and worn pair of black Dr. Martens. I check my appearance one last time before I say goodbye to my mom and leave for Mikey's place.
~'~.~'~.~'~.~ (Mikey's house)~.~'~.~'~.~'~.~
I arrive at Mikey's house, where I am attacked upon said lunatic opening the door. I pick myself up off the floor before being dragged through the house to the living room. He calls downstairs to who I can only assume to be Gerard, because he's not exactly polite in the way he says it.
"Get your ass up here, bitch! We wanna watch the movie." That statement earned him a disapproving glance from his mother.
"Michael!!! Don't use language like that, especially to your brother!"
Mikey blushes. "Sorry mom, won't happen again.
His mom then walks over to me, arms outstretched for a hug. I step into her embrace and it's like I'm hugging my own mother.
"Hello, there! My name's Donna. You just make yourself at home, I'll be through with some snacks in a minute." I nod gratefully. She seems so nice. Genuinely nice, not patronizing or fake like other parents are. God, I hate it when they treat you as if you're like 5 or something. Mikey drags me over to the couch and pushes me onto it, flopping down beside me.
"So slut, you ready to watch Harry Potter? I know you've probably seen it already, but it's still exciting!" I laugh at how he's acting. It's like he's a kid in a candy store, he's so excited.
"Actually,I haven't seen it yet." He looks at me as if I've just killed his beloved unicorn Fluffles. (Yeah I found out about his unicorn obsession.)
"Y-you... You haven-.... You haven't seen it?!" He asks in disbelief.
"Nope, didn't see it in the cinema."
"Dude, that's like saying you haven't heard of the disaster that is Justin Bieber. Actually, no, don't listen to that. I'm not comparing the awesomeness of Harry Potter to Justin Bieber." He picked up the DVD. "I'm sorry, baby, it won't ever happen again."
"Mikey, if you don't stop that I'm gonna have to tell Alicia what's going on." He shoves me and sticks his tongue out.
"Screw you, Iero. Anyway, back to the main point. I saw this thing in the cinema like 10 times! I went on my own most of the time, people got bored of it after a while...
Stupid muggles. Gerard needs to get his ass up here so we can get you to lose you Deathly Hallows virginity-ness. I'll be right back." And he disappears as fast as a ninja on speed.
Seconds later, he emerges from Gerard's now open bedroom door, a frown on his face. "He's not in there...... GERARD! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!" His shouting makes me nearly shit myself.
He prepares to bellow again, but is interrupted by a very disheveled Gerard, who emerges from the kitchen, zombie mug and snacks in hand. I know it's totally inappropriate to say, but Gerard is looking incredibly hot. His hair is all messed up, which gets me thinking of how I'd mess his hair up when we- No. No... stop thinking like that, Iero. The sound of Gerard's voice pulls me out of my sick and perverted mind.
"Mikey, what the fuck? I was in the kitchen. Chill the fuck out. Now, what do you want?" He sounds groggy, deprived from sleep.
"Watch Harry Potter with us. Deathly Hallows... You know you wanna." He's all up in Gerards face, waving the DVD in front of him.
"Part 1?" He asks with excitement.
"No, part 2."
"Aww, I like Part 1, it's my favourite. Oh, well, Part 2 is just as good." And with a shrug he puts the bowls of food on the table and sits down on the chair furthest away from us. Bless him, he looks like he hasn't slept.
Mikey moves to put the DVD in the player, struggling to put the disc in because he's shaking so bad from the excitement. The opening credits have already started by the time Gerard notices me.
"Oh, hey Frank." He says with a yawn. "How are you?"
"Hey, I'm good, you?"
He gives a sheepish smile, before mumbling in a quiet voice. "'M'fine, I guess."
I'm about to respond to this strange answer but Mikey slaps his hand over my mouth, preventing any words escaping.
"You two can shut up now, I wanna watch this." He turns my head towards the screen, making me look at it. He then points at Gerard, who looks shocked, and clicks his fingers once at him and points to the tv screen. We both obey, because we don't feel like having Mikey's unicorn army set upon us. Yes, I'm sorry to admit it, but he has actually threatened me with that before. He's beyond help, seriously. And because I don't really want to find out what he would do to me if I disobeyed him I start to watch the film.
~.~'~.~'~.~'~Lots of Harry Potter goodness later~.~'~.~'~.~
Okay, the film just finished. "Oh... My fucking GOD!!! It is the best film ever! So sad!" I burst out exaggeratedly. Gerard scoffs quietly. I raise an eyebrow at him.
"I, um.. I still prefer part 1." Mikey turns around so fast I think his neck may have snapped.
"Oh, HELL no! Did I just hear you right?" Gerard smiles sheepishly.
"Yes... Don't hurt me Mikey." He says as he sees Mikey edging towards him, a deathly look in his eyes. "It's just my opinion. I still like part 2, but I prefer part 1." Mikey carries on walking over to him, Gerard backing up against the wall. When Mikey is face to face with him he bends down so he is eye level with him. It's clear to me that Mikey is just fooling around, but that is obviously not how Gerard is seeing the situation, he looks terrified.
"Uh, Mikey?" I try and get Mikey to stop, but he doesn't hear me, and carries on his joke.
"Say what, now?" He shouts in a goofy accent. Gerard gets spooked by the loud volume and flinches, backing away from him into the corner. Mikey's face falls. He walks over to the frightened, childlike figure on the floor.
"Gee? I was just kidding around. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He reaches out a hand to pick Gerard up off the floor.
But instead of accepting his hand, Gerards flinches away and lets out a small, broken whimper. The sound is heartwrenching and I just want to go over and give him a massive hug and tell him everything's going to be fine. Looking at him sat on the floor, it's like he's a young child, not a 16 year old boy. Mikey, who is looking extremely guillty, crouches down in front of the cowering boy and reaches out to stroke his hair. This makes the raven haired boy crawl away, scrambling to his feet, and he bolts out of the front door, still in his sweatpants and hoodie. Mikey is left knelt on the floor in the corner of the room, not knowing what to do. Donna emerges from the hallway.
"Boys, what just happened?" She asks suspisciously. I look at Mikey, whose eyes are glistening with tears, before looking back at Donna.
"I don't know, Gerard just got spooked and ran out of the house." She looks in the direction of the front door.
"Oh dear." And with that, she does as Gerard did and runs out the door, leaving Mikey and I alone in the silence of the Way household.
So, bro's how was it? Shit? Meh? Or am I just fat? Let me know by dropping a review, it would make meh so happeh! Plus if you DO review, you get..... Ben Bruce! Bitches love Ben Bruce...
I hope you enjoyed it, and thank you for reading it!
BulletproofNinja, signing off. brofist