Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Porcelain Doll

Porcelain Doll

by MyNomDePlume

Brendon's first time was one he wanted desperately to forget.

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: NC-17 - Genres: Angst,Drama - Warnings: [X] - Published: 2012-07-21 - Updated: 2012-07-22 - 1073 words

It wasn't what Brendon had expected. In fact, it wasn't even close. 

Derek had told him that sex would be great, but now Brendon realized that it was far from it. For him, at least. Derek seemed to be having a good time; Brendon could tell from the low, guttural moans that came from behind him and the fingers that dug into his hips ruthlessly. He didn't understand. How could Derek be enjoying that? Did he like the excruciating pain that he was enduring? It nevered occurred to Brendon that he was the only one experiencing any agony. After all, he had been a virgin only a few minutes before. 

Derek had promised that he would be gentle, that is, before his animalistic lust took over and he shoved himself inside of Brendon without preparing the younger man. No finger in first, no lubrication, just straight into his virgin companion. Brendon cried out, but Derek ignored the tormented wails and rocked his hips back and forth relentlessly. It was sheer torture for Brendon, while the older man was loving every second of it.

"Do you like that, bitch?" came the deep voice from behind him. Brendon couldn't answer; he was too busy fighting off tears to open his mouth. "I said, do you like that, bitch?!"

Derek grabbed a fistful of Brendon's hair and yanked with enough force to pull the younger man's head back and expose his once flawless neck that was now covered in bites and bruises. He parted his lips unwillingly and emitted a single, sharp cry as salty streams poured down his cheeks. 

With one, final shout, Derek released his load and rode out the pleasure inside the no-longer-innocent young man. He withdrew and wrapped his sweaty arms around Brendon, who was now shaking uncontrolably. 

"Did you like it, babe?" 

Brendon gritted his teeth and nodded slowly. It was a lie, of course, but he was terrified of how Derek would react if he said no. He didn't want to see that side of him ever again.

"Told you so."

Within a few minutes, Derek was fast asleep and snoring loudly in Brendon's ear, while Brendon lay awake shivering and crying quietly.

Never again, he vowed to himself, Never again.

Exactly a year later, Brendon sat alone at a bar. He had broken up with Derek almost eleven months beforehand, after refusing to endure anymore grueling sessions with that beast. So there he sat, downing drink after drink of anything he could ask the bartender for. He believed that if he drank enough then all of the horrid memories would drown in a sea of alcohol and all but fade away. He was still naive like that.

Finally, the bartender stopped serving him drinks.

"Look, I know what you're trying to do and I've been in the same position multiple times. You're not helping yourself by getting drunk as hell."

Brendon glared at the man over the counter. He looked only a year or so older than him, but his mind seemed to be far wiser. He was kind of cute, but Brendon shoved those thoughts away and blamed them on the alcohol.

"Why do you care?" Brendon slurred in response.

"Like I said, I've been in your shoes before," he looked down at his watch, "Listen, my shift is over now. Why don't I hail a cab for you, hmm?"

"Fine," Brendon replied groggily. 

The bartender rushed out from behind the counter to help the drunken young man. He looped one arm around Brendon's waist and half-dragged him to the exit. He was just about to open the door when he realized that it was pouring rain. There was no way he was going to let this guy go out in weather like that, especially when he was drunk.

"Change of plans. I'll drive you home, okay?" 

"Sure," he mumbled.

"Sorry, I don't think I caught your name," he said as he brought the stranger to another door that led to the garage.

"'s Brendon."

"Well, Brendon, I'm Ryan."

He didn't respond. Ryan didnt expect him to. He just helped Brendon into the passenger seat before seating himself in front of the wheel. Then, they were off.

Ryan glanced over at Brendon at every red light. The younger man was asleep with his head resting on his shoulder. A little bit of drool pooled at the corner of his mouth, which Ryan thought was kind of adorable. What struck him as odd, though, were the little things he did in his sleep. He would furrow his brows in worry, or stick out his bottom lip like a young child. Ryan would watch it quiver before Brendon's expression would change again. He could tell that the younger man was having a bad dream. He even let out a small whimper at one point.

"Poor guy," Ryan remarked softly before turning his gaze back onto the road.

It suddenly hit him that he had no idea where Brendon lived. He decided to bring him back to his apartment and have him stay the night. He had an extra bed... He thought.

Ryan had no choice but to have Brendon sleep in his bed. He didn't want the poor guy to sleep on the uncomfortable couch, so he figured that he would sleep on it instead. It wasn't a big deal.

Brendon looked so fragile when he was sleeping, Ryan thought with a pleased sigh. He reminded Ryan of a porcelain doll. So beautiful, yet so breakable. The older man could already see a hairline fracture in the priceless doll's exterior. But no matter, Brendon was a simply exquisite creation, slightly cracked or not.

Just as Ryan was about to head out to the couch, Brendon's hand shot out unconsciously and grabbed Ryan's shirt. He panicked. How was he supposed to get Brendon off without waking him up? Slowly, Ryan climbed into his bed beside Brendon.

"Brendon, you need to let go," he whispered urgently, but the sleeping man didn't respond. 

Ryan tried a few more times, but it was no use. He was getting tired as well. He couldn't just go to sleep next to Brendon! What would happen in the morning?! Exhaustion tugged at his mind, slowly pulling him under. Ryan fought to stay awake, but he knew he couldn't win. After a few moments, he was sleeping soundly beside Brendon. 

Tell me what you guys thought! xoxo, Liz
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