Slowly, I paced over to Dan.
"Umm can I talk to you"
Oh yeah smooth! He obviously knows what's coming next, I can't stay with someone that I haven't even loved. Someone else captivates my mind anyway, Gerard. Gerard's been so sweet and well, he's listened. Everyday after school we talk for at least 7 hours just about stuff that's happened, for once I haven't came home and cried in my room about everything that's happened. Don't get me wrong, I have a great life but sometimes it all comes on top of me. The stress, the pain, the anger. My parents split up when I was a baby but my Mother always bitches about him, she calls him things to my face. He's my Dad, I still care he raised me too. My Mam was always working trying to make money to buy food when I was younger so I used to live with my Nanna most of the time. 3 years ago my Grandma died from her battle against cancer and then a year later, my Grandad died. He was probably my main role model, I loved him so much! Some say it wasn't the cancer that got to him, some say it was the heartbreak. We will never know, I guess.
Gerard's just someone else I can tell this stuff to. Penina knows everything, even the things my parents don't know. Like my depression. The way I don't eat at lunch because I'm to fat. Let's face it, I don't have the greatest self esteem. I know that people have had much worse lives than I have but I just fear living the rest of my life. I cant stand being me.
My cousin, Brooke, is the only person I've told about my feelings toward Gerard.
"Umm maybe later Chloe, I gotta go. Bye"
"Oh ok, bye Dan"
Hey Chloe, can I speak to you?
He's going to tell me he feels the same way! Please! Obviously I wanted to know the answer, so I told him yes.
Great :) Well theres a girl that I really like but I'm too scared to ask her out. What do you think I should do?
I'd been thinking about a romantic moment for a long time now, but what if this girl isn't me? Then what do I say?
Well I think you should just come out with it, just her how it is.
Smooth Chloe. Very smooth.
Ok then, thanks! I've been wanting to do this for a very long time now, Chloe...
Oh god, he's going to ask me out! He's finally going to do it!
You know how you love me? Well, will you...
Just a few more words and he's done it!
Find out if Penina likes me too? It's just I've liked her for so long and I don't know what her style is
I sat there, heart literally crashing into dust among the others that have fallen for the game, love. Love is a game, sold to the higher bidder. Today this bidder was Penina.
Oh sure, I've got to go bye x
Thanks so much Chloe, I owe you x
Why? I hate my life!
It was 4pm and I had just arrived home after getting 2 busses to get here. My Mother wasn't in so I just sat and watched Moulin Rouge while eating my ice cream. This was my depression time, as usual I hid in the corner of my sofa and began to hide from the world. Why am I ... Well me?
By the end of the film I was sat crying, my eyes puffy and red. This depression has got the better of me, it's been a long time since I've smiled. People tell me how they've slit their wrists, thats not something I could do. I'm not afraid of the blood, it's just the pain. Knowing that you're hurting yourself over small things, although death had always been an option. But I know I couldn't do that either, so crying was my best option along with singing. That helped me forget everything that's happened to me, just sing like no ones listening. My Mother let me join a local stage school , I've already hid myself on the sides. At the minute I don't feel like making friends, no one will like me so why try? Megan and Miranda have spoke to me a lot so maybe I will try fit with them. I'm just a jigsaw piece waiting to be fixed into the right place. If there even is a right place.
Hi, will be home in 5 minutes x
Shit! My face was still puffy and red from the tears and sadness, maybe I should try fix my face up. Urghh!
"CHLOE? you home?"
My lips were still trembling and you could hear the sadness in my voice.
Was all I managed to squeak out. Without warning she came upstairs into my room.
"Chloe? Are you ok?"
My mom was a pretty laid back person, wearing her usual slacks. Mazy, her name was and my Dad was called Tom. After they left each other, each started to date with others. My Dad met Emma, who is great! But my Mom met Timothy, I hate him. Like seriously, he doesn't even try to be nice to me. Last week I shouted at him in front of his friends asking what he does for my Mom, it's fair to say I got shouted at. I always stick up for my Mom and little sister, a couple of months ago they were arguing, my sister was in my room crying on my lap so I went downstairs and told them both to grow up and think about their kids. There has been a few times that we packed our bags and nearly left.
"Umm yeah, I'm fine. Just not feeling well"
"Ok then hunnie, I will see you later"
Oh God, why do I have to be this emotional?