Slash finally gets what he wants from Axl on Christmas Day.
Slash hated Christmas, absolutely hated it, families that sometimes didn't even like each other, got together and handed over thoughtless presents. It was pointless. Also, Christmas wishes never came true, well, not this year anyway. He hadn't always hated the occasion, when he was younger, he used to stay up all night on Christmas Eve and sneak into the living room at night. Then, if he wasn't already caught, he would open his presents because he couldn't wait any-more.
This year was different than the year earlier. This year was almost perfect, their album did great, it broke all over the world. Guns N' Roses were halfway to the top already. They were getting paid a good amount but there was only one thing missing for Slash. He had it last year, and 3 years before that. Last Christmas was the worst.
You see, last year, Slash had Axl. He had Axl for three year before the band became big. The redhead had promised that if they ever did make it into the big time, that nothing would come between them. But, a few weeks after they knew that they were setting off and on Christmas Day, Axl broke up with the guitarist, telling him that it was for the best. For them and for the band.
Slash had protested, begging Axl not to wreck what they had together. He also added in Axl's promise. Slash didn't want to end what they had, but Axl told him to get over what they had, it was nothing but a fling.....
Christmas Day – 1987
“...a fling?”Slash whispered, leaning against the wooden wall of their grotty apartment. Axl looked up at him, an apologetic look on his face. Slash's hands began to shake, his feet gave out and he slumped to the floor. He buried his face in his hands, pulling his knees to his chest. Axl looked down at him, forcing his own tears back, he would not let Slash see him like this.
“Was that all I was to you? Something to keep you distracted or some sort of fucking experiment?” Slash's sobbing voice mumbled from behind his hands. Long, black hair covered his face so Axl wouldn't see him,” It was three fucking years, Axl, and the second we reach the drop, you drop it like it meant nothing to you.”
Axl fell to his knees beside his sobbing guitarist. He reached out a shaking hand and ran it through the black curtain of hair,” It has to be this way, baby. You know we cant have both, this is out futures that we have to think about.” Axl's deep voice whispered in his ear,”We can't throw that away for something that might not even last longer. The only reason that we stuck together is because we had the band. If we didn't have that what else would we have?”
Slash peered out from his safety position and looked at Axl, who was looking straight back at him. Slash sniffed, his eyes were red and his bottom lip was quivering,”I would have you and you would have me. You would rather be famous, put out a few albums than rather be with me?” He whimpered,“Don't you love me any more?” His voice cracked and all Axl wanted to do was to wrap his arms around him and protect him from all the evil in the world. Slash shivered, Axl chose his career over love, he chose the rock star life over Slash.
Of course Axl loved him. He loved Slash with every fibre in his being, but if Axl wanted to get to the top, he didn't need something or someone pulling him back. Slash also needed this too, Slash was the best guitarist he had ever seen and he needed to be recognised. So, even if it killed him slowly, he needed to tell Slash a lie. Axl sighed and gathered his emotions,”Axl? Do you love me.”
Big, brown eyes bore into the singers' soul and Axl swallowed the large lump in his throat. He opened his mouth but words refused to come out. Slash was waiting for his answer, doubt but still a ray of hope in his eyes. Axl's hand removed itself from Slash's hair,”N-N-No I don't love you. I don't love you anymore, Slash.” Axl forced the words out and he swore, that he heard his own heart break. Slash's face went pale and the guitarist felt like he was going to be sick.
After a few seconds Axl stood up and brushed off his legs. He apologized to the brunette again and made a move for the door,”A-Axl..please...don't leave me.” Axl stopped and bit back the tears again but, without looking back, he walked out of the apartment and shut the door behind him. The guitarist removed the hand from his mouth and his body collapsed again. On the other side of the door, Axl was sobbing lightly too, he felt like he was feeling Slash's pain as well as his own. He wiped the tears from his face and put on his rock star mask and as he walked down the hallway he kept repeating five words to himself to get him through this war.
It had to be done.
Axl watched from the other side of the room as Slash sat on the worn out couch, a drink in his hand and his head in another. Axl could tell that he was sad, his hair was covering his face and his hands were shaking again. It was a habit that Axl had never forgotten, he knew what Slash was feeling just by looking at the guitarist. He needed to get closer to Slash, Axl didn't like what he was seeing. He ended his conversation with Izzy and made his way over to Slash. Slash looked up when he felt someone sit next to him.
Slash's eyes widened, a bright spark lighting in them but soon left those brown orbs. Axl bit his lip, looking like he was making some sort of important decision. For the next few minutes they just stared each other, their facial expressions doing all the talking for them. Slash opened his mouth, about to say something, but he was interrupted by a pair of soft lips against his own. Slash made whimpering noise at the back of his throat when Axl pulled away a few short seconds later. But they soon returned to his own, rougher and more passionate.
His own lips parted when a wet tongue ran along them, telling Slash to open his mouth and allow him to enter. He returned the kiss, gasping when he felt a weight on top of him. Fingers pulled at his hair and the fiery redhead on top of him started moving against him, pinning him to the soft cushions behind them. This was something that Slash was not expecting. He had been wishing all year, begging to some unknown source to give him back his lover. Another year without Axl's kisses, his touches and his compelling words, seemed impossible to live without. They were both miserable without each other.
A forehead rested against his and fingers trailed his tear, streaked cheek. Slash sniffed and kissed Axl's nose. They hugged each other, whispering sweet words,”Merry Christmas, baby.” Axl said into his ear, his body curling around the guitarist's. The redhead kissed Slash's tears away, whispering soft apologies.“Merry Christmas, Axl.” Slash replied, but his smile quickly turned into a frown,”What about Guns and our status?” His happy facial expression turned into a worried, panicking one that turned his butterflies into his stomach felt like a knife in his heart. He couldn't go through this pain again, it almost killed him the first time.
Axl hushed him, kissing his neck lovingly,” Don't worry. I'll take care of everything, you just have to trust me.” Axl hummed into his ear, fingers creeping under Slash's t-shirt, running circles around his chest, making Slash's knives turn back into butterflies again. Slash soon nodded, rubbing his nose against Axl's,“I love you.” the redhead continued, smiling when Slash immediately replied. The singer felt content, more than he had for the past year. He felt like a weight had been lifted and it finally made Slash smile again. He would give up his future, his career to be with this man because he knew that Slash would happily give up his life just to make Axl happy. Axl would sacrifice anything, even his dreams, for the person that he loved.
I could have been someone
Well, so could anyone
You took my dreams
From me when I first found you
I kept them with me babe
I put them with my own
Can't make it all alone
I've built my dreams around you
The Pogues – Fairytale Of New York.
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