Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Forbidden Desires
-I was born to tell you I love you. Isn‘t that a song already?-
**
The guest bedroom was cozy in it’s appearance but cold in it’s current intention. The door shut behind us with a frightening finality.
“Brendon seems…”
“Open.” Ryan finished the sentence for me. “He is.”
“But we aren’t.” I nervously sat on the edge of the bed. “I’m shaking, and you’re no better off.”
“I’m not shaking.” Ryan notified me, as he sat down beside me.
“Why am I so nervous?” I twisted my fingers together, gripping on tightly. “I shouldn’t be, should I?”
“No.” Ryan answered. “So, why are you?”
“You’re supposed to tell me Ryan. You always tell me. You always know.” Maybe that’s why this was all so nerve-wracking. Ryan wasn’t being his bossy self, and I was finding myself a bit lost.
“I’m not going to do that anymore Kass.” Ryan spoke softly. It made the words dig in a little deeper somehow. “I’m not going to tell you what to do anymore. I’m not going to be able to play big brother and… and /lover/.” The word tumbled out, sounding dirty and /hot/.
“You…” I trailed off, sounding quite unintelligent.
Ryan’s hand fell on top of mine in a gentle caress. “I have to choose which role to play in your life Kassidy. I can’t do both. So, this time it’s your turn to call the shots. What do you want from me?”
I turned my head to look at him just to find that our faces were inches apart. That really didn’t help encourage my brain, causing me to fail at forming words.
Somehow just looking at Ryan was enough, and as he leaned down I leaned up. Our lips met, and it was gentle and perfect, like a damn fairytale and I knew, this was what I wanted from Ryan. I didn’t wait to speak once our lips pulled apart, “I want this.”
Ryan gazed at me wordlessly and in sudden panic I thought he would turn me down, or tell me it was wrong. Maybe he hadn’t felt what I felt, and maybe he no longer wanted what I wanted.
But then he nodded.
“I want this too.” Those words of acceptance were what I truly craved from him, and as our lips met once again neither of us held back.
Ryan’s fingers were practiced, which was made obvious very quickly as pieces of clothing kept disappearing over the side of the guest bed.
I couldn’t remember if the door was locked.
We only had seven minutes.
And I was a complete mess of nerves.
“Wait, wait Ryan… What if someone comes in?” I was breathless even though Ryan seemed to be kissing everywhere but my lips.
“I locked the door.” Ryan answered, barely breaking away.
“Yeah, but after seven minutes they are going to start wondering…” It wasn’t that hard to figure out.
“Brendon will keep everyone out.” Ryan breathed out, pausing to look up at me. The heat behind his eyes was reflected in mine, I was sure of it but…
“Brendon knows?” That part kind of shocked me.
Ryan’s kisses led back up to my lips, past the most tender spots along my neck and collarbone. “I would assume so, after tonight. He might seem dense but he has the tendency to piece things together pretty easily.”
Oh.
“And you don’t care?”
“No. I don’t believe that I do.” Ryan answered, cutting me off from further questioning him by pressing his lips against mine. “I’m not really thinking about much else other than this.”
**
(Ryan’s POV)
Kassidy was breathing heavily, nervously staring at me from below her eyelashes. She was laying still upon the bed, shirt off. Her skin was like porcelain, her perfection breathtaking.
I could still feel her trembling though, as my fingers quickly unbuttoned her jeans. It took seconds, but it felt like I’d been waiting for this my entire life.
This was what everything had been boiling down to and as I gazed at Kassidy my sins went toe to toe, and I wondered just how bad I would look in the end.
“I do love you.” I breathed out. “I will always love you, okay Kassidy? Always.”
“I-” Kassidy bit her bottom lip as she stared in to my eyes with hesitation. “I love you too Ry.”
I nodded, and took a deep breath.
Kassidy watched carefully as I started unbuttoning my own jeans. My shirt was already on the floor, with hers. “Ryan?” I stopped at the fear in her voice.
“Yeah?”
“I’m not, well, ready for this.” Kassidy’s face burned brightly with embarrassment.
I let my fingers fall uselessly away from my zipper. “You weren’t going to tell me that, were you?”
“I don’t want you to be disappointed.” Kassidy whispered.
“I would be more disappointed if you had just let me fuck you, when you didn’t want it.” I ran my fingers through my hair. It was a tricky situation with Kassidy; it always would be. “You need to tell me what you want. I’m new… to this. I’m in the same boat as you, and I’m afraid.” I admitted.
Kassidy’s eyes widened. “You’re afraid?”
“Yeah.” I caressed her cheek with my hand, loving the soft feel of her skin. It didn’t feel so wrong right now. Right now it felt like the only right thing in the world. “I’m afraid of screwing up, and I’m afraid that I’m wrecking everything.”
“Me too.” Kassidy admitted.
My lips curved up in a smile as I lovingly looked down at Kassidy. She looked so beautiful lying in bed. It was a sight I could definitely grow used to. “So, we’re going to have to go a little traditional with this, okay?”
“How so?” Kassidy asked.
“I won’t touch.” I pulled my hand away, smirking at the pout that formed upon her face. “Unless you ask me to. I’ll be the complete gentleman.”
“You know we will never get anywhere then, right?” Kassidy asked.
“Why’s that?”
“I won’t ask… for what I want.” Kassidy blurted out, clearly embarrassed.
I chuckled. “Guess you’re just going to have to learn to.”
“Can you, well, do what you were doing earlier?” Kassidy nervously asked. I was kind of afraid she would chew her bottom lip off, truth be told. She was getting dangerously close.
“Take my pants off?” I asked.
“Yeah.” Kassidy smiled shyly. “Just because I’m not ready for sex… doesn’t mean I’m not ready for everything in between.”
I would clearly have my hands full with her.
“I can give you everything in between.” I answered, as the sound of my zipper sliding down filled the quiet of the room.
**
Marie and Spencer fell out of the closet ungracefully. Brendon chuckled. “Did she jump you?” He asked Spencer.
Spencer rolled his eyes. “I hate playing this game. You guys are a terrible couple!”
Marie smiled devilishly, “That just means he likes it.” She informed a laughing Brendon.
“Where did Kassidy and Ryan go?” Spencer asked, as he stifled a yawn.
“Guest bedroom.” Brendon answered, clearly unconcerned. “They have some shit to work through. They probably won’t come out again tonight.”
Spencer had a look of surprise on his face but he said nothing.
Marie giggled, pulling Brendon to the closet with her. “Our turn!”
Spencer groan and headed to the couch, knowing damn well they would take longer than seven minutes.
**
The guest bedroom was cozy in it’s appearance but cold in it’s current intention. The door shut behind us with a frightening finality.
“Brendon seems…”
“Open.” Ryan finished the sentence for me. “He is.”
“But we aren’t.” I nervously sat on the edge of the bed. “I’m shaking, and you’re no better off.”
“I’m not shaking.” Ryan notified me, as he sat down beside me.
“Why am I so nervous?” I twisted my fingers together, gripping on tightly. “I shouldn’t be, should I?”
“No.” Ryan answered. “So, why are you?”
“You’re supposed to tell me Ryan. You always tell me. You always know.” Maybe that’s why this was all so nerve-wracking. Ryan wasn’t being his bossy self, and I was finding myself a bit lost.
“I’m not going to do that anymore Kass.” Ryan spoke softly. It made the words dig in a little deeper somehow. “I’m not going to tell you what to do anymore. I’m not going to be able to play big brother and… and /lover/.” The word tumbled out, sounding dirty and /hot/.
“You…” I trailed off, sounding quite unintelligent.
Ryan’s hand fell on top of mine in a gentle caress. “I have to choose which role to play in your life Kassidy. I can’t do both. So, this time it’s your turn to call the shots. What do you want from me?”
I turned my head to look at him just to find that our faces were inches apart. That really didn’t help encourage my brain, causing me to fail at forming words.
Somehow just looking at Ryan was enough, and as he leaned down I leaned up. Our lips met, and it was gentle and perfect, like a damn fairytale and I knew, this was what I wanted from Ryan. I didn’t wait to speak once our lips pulled apart, “I want this.”
Ryan gazed at me wordlessly and in sudden panic I thought he would turn me down, or tell me it was wrong. Maybe he hadn’t felt what I felt, and maybe he no longer wanted what I wanted.
But then he nodded.
“I want this too.” Those words of acceptance were what I truly craved from him, and as our lips met once again neither of us held back.
Ryan’s fingers were practiced, which was made obvious very quickly as pieces of clothing kept disappearing over the side of the guest bed.
I couldn’t remember if the door was locked.
We only had seven minutes.
And I was a complete mess of nerves.
“Wait, wait Ryan… What if someone comes in?” I was breathless even though Ryan seemed to be kissing everywhere but my lips.
“I locked the door.” Ryan answered, barely breaking away.
“Yeah, but after seven minutes they are going to start wondering…” It wasn’t that hard to figure out.
“Brendon will keep everyone out.” Ryan breathed out, pausing to look up at me. The heat behind his eyes was reflected in mine, I was sure of it but…
“Brendon knows?” That part kind of shocked me.
Ryan’s kisses led back up to my lips, past the most tender spots along my neck and collarbone. “I would assume so, after tonight. He might seem dense but he has the tendency to piece things together pretty easily.”
Oh.
“And you don’t care?”
“No. I don’t believe that I do.” Ryan answered, cutting me off from further questioning him by pressing his lips against mine. “I’m not really thinking about much else other than this.”
**
(Ryan’s POV)
Kassidy was breathing heavily, nervously staring at me from below her eyelashes. She was laying still upon the bed, shirt off. Her skin was like porcelain, her perfection breathtaking.
I could still feel her trembling though, as my fingers quickly unbuttoned her jeans. It took seconds, but it felt like I’d been waiting for this my entire life.
This was what everything had been boiling down to and as I gazed at Kassidy my sins went toe to toe, and I wondered just how bad I would look in the end.
“I do love you.” I breathed out. “I will always love you, okay Kassidy? Always.”
“I-” Kassidy bit her bottom lip as she stared in to my eyes with hesitation. “I love you too Ry.”
I nodded, and took a deep breath.
Kassidy watched carefully as I started unbuttoning my own jeans. My shirt was already on the floor, with hers. “Ryan?” I stopped at the fear in her voice.
“Yeah?”
“I’m not, well, ready for this.” Kassidy’s face burned brightly with embarrassment.
I let my fingers fall uselessly away from my zipper. “You weren’t going to tell me that, were you?”
“I don’t want you to be disappointed.” Kassidy whispered.
“I would be more disappointed if you had just let me fuck you, when you didn’t want it.” I ran my fingers through my hair. It was a tricky situation with Kassidy; it always would be. “You need to tell me what you want. I’m new… to this. I’m in the same boat as you, and I’m afraid.” I admitted.
Kassidy’s eyes widened. “You’re afraid?”
“Yeah.” I caressed her cheek with my hand, loving the soft feel of her skin. It didn’t feel so wrong right now. Right now it felt like the only right thing in the world. “I’m afraid of screwing up, and I’m afraid that I’m wrecking everything.”
“Me too.” Kassidy admitted.
My lips curved up in a smile as I lovingly looked down at Kassidy. She looked so beautiful lying in bed. It was a sight I could definitely grow used to. “So, we’re going to have to go a little traditional with this, okay?”
“How so?” Kassidy asked.
“I won’t touch.” I pulled my hand away, smirking at the pout that formed upon her face. “Unless you ask me to. I’ll be the complete gentleman.”
“You know we will never get anywhere then, right?” Kassidy asked.
“Why’s that?”
“I won’t ask… for what I want.” Kassidy blurted out, clearly embarrassed.
I chuckled. “Guess you’re just going to have to learn to.”
“Can you, well, do what you were doing earlier?” Kassidy nervously asked. I was kind of afraid she would chew her bottom lip off, truth be told. She was getting dangerously close.
“Take my pants off?” I asked.
“Yeah.” Kassidy smiled shyly. “Just because I’m not ready for sex… doesn’t mean I’m not ready for everything in between.”
I would clearly have my hands full with her.
“I can give you everything in between.” I answered, as the sound of my zipper sliding down filled the quiet of the room.
**
Marie and Spencer fell out of the closet ungracefully. Brendon chuckled. “Did she jump you?” He asked Spencer.
Spencer rolled his eyes. “I hate playing this game. You guys are a terrible couple!”
Marie smiled devilishly, “That just means he likes it.” She informed a laughing Brendon.
“Where did Kassidy and Ryan go?” Spencer asked, as he stifled a yawn.
“Guest bedroom.” Brendon answered, clearly unconcerned. “They have some shit to work through. They probably won’t come out again tonight.”
Spencer had a look of surprise on his face but he said nothing.
Marie giggled, pulling Brendon to the closet with her. “Our turn!”
Spencer groan and headed to the couch, knowing damn well they would take longer than seven minutes.
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